The Rise of Body Inclusivity in Media and Society

Chrystal: 0:51

Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Merf. We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month. We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community cannabis, cvd, you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy. Hey y'all, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. My name is Crystal, I'm Merf. Yay, we're back, Merf. It's been a while. We have a lot to catch up on. Holy shit, so much has happened in the fat universe.

Merf: 1:26

Oh my gosh, it's like a whirlwind of stuff that I was just like and we need to add this to the list and this to the list and it just keeps going.

Chrystal: 1:33

So much catching up. I want to start off by just saying how excited I am about all these TV shows with fat characters and they're not just like chubby, you know. They're on the larger side of fat and we love any kind of representation we can get. But I love Jeff Jenkins' new travel show Never Say Never. It's so good. It's on Discovery Channel. Have you watched that Merf?

Merf: 2:00

I watched the first episode where he's in New Zealand and the white water rafting and I just it was awesome.

Chrystal: 2:09

They got him a custom wet suit. I was like how you can you know? Can you imagine how much that was? Oh, I love to have one of those. And yeah, he's so adorable. He has a great smile. He's very telegenic. He goes by Chubby Diaries, I think, on Instagram and his blog.

Merf: 2:26

Yeah, he has this charisma about him that just it illuminates, like just off, it radiates off of him.

Chrystal: 2:35

It's just like ooh, I know I'm trying really hard to get in touch with him. I want to have him on the show.

Merf: 2:41

Yeah, his zest for life is contagious.

Chrystal: 2:44

I want to see his wife. I think they should do some episodes together too. I mean, I don't know who she is, but I'm assuming she's fantastic as well, because he's he has a great smile, he's very, he's so cute. I love it.

Merf: 2:56

So yay for Fatties. That's on Discovery Plus, but also on Disney Plus, okay, cool.

Chrystal: 3:01

Yeah, and then Michelle Bouteau Love her, what an amazing comedian. And yeah, she has a new show called Survival of the Thickest on Merf only only eight episodes though, but I I binge that in one day, and I could not put it down, I get.

Merf: 3:21

Just everything that I thought was going to happen didn't happen. Thankfully, it wasn't that cliche nonsense. It was so smart and so witty, and the way they talked to each other was just so authentic, and and there were just fat bodies and queer bodies and just the best cast.

Chrystal: 3:43

So good, so good. I agree, love it. Nicole Byer is one of the, so if you haven't watched her, if you don't know about it, michelle Bouteau's character is a stylist for fat people in New York right?

Merf: 3:59

Yeah, she does all modeling, but she prefers to work with fat people.

Chrystal: 4:05

So she styles some Fatties and it's wonderful fashion and it's just so done so beautifully and just yeah. So much representation. And I haven't finished the last episode because I'm edging it out. I don't want it to end, so I'm just going to wait. My mom said she watched all eight episodes like within a few hours too. She shows she really liked it. It's so good.

Merf: 4:28

I immediately thought, oh, she's going to end up with tone bell, like you know like her best friend, I'm just so glad that they didn't play to the basics. You know, like they really swung for the fences and hit it, it's just very real.

Chrystal: 4:45

It's great, great, great dialogue.

Merf: 4:47

Yes, it's genuine, Like it. It's the kind of thing you want people to really like, talk like when you have those conversations and say your feelings and be authentic and it's yeah, oh, beautiful.

Chrystal: 5:03

And then there's also Gabrile Sibidae. She's on a show with Johnny Knoxville. They do pranks on people or people do. Anyway, I didn't really watch it much. I watched one episode, but I love seeing Gabrile Sibidae on there. She's so stunning and she's so funny. She has a funny personality, she's just so. She's very relatable, I think, and I'm happy to see her there.

Merf: 5:25

Yeah, she has a really good sense of humor on that show. She sure does, yeah.

Chrystal: 5:29

And then also, we learned about this new documentary that's about to come out, which is called Fat is Fashion, and the person that created it goes by Diva Big B-I-G-G on Instagram and she has a like a hashtag my fat is my beauty. Her name is Laquinta Deyes, but Maria Marie Denis from the curvy fashionistas in it, maui Bigelow is in it, gwen DeVoe all kinds of amazing people, but this person, laquinta or Diva Big. She responded to me because I went and DM'd her and she said yeah, d-amy, let's work it out. She wants to come on the show and I think they have their big event this weekend, but I think it's something she's going to try to do, you know, several times a year, and we should also have Maria on. I'm Maria's a good friend of mine. I love to interview the curvy fashionista.

Merf: 6:18

Yeah, oh, I love it. Fat fashion. I can't get enough of that right now. Right.

Chrystal: 6:23

So yeah, that's like four different things that we know of where fat people are going to be. You know, heavily centered, but not just about being fat Right, Kind of like Bridget Everett's show right, Somebody, somewhere, some I can never remember the damn name.

Merf: 6:37

Yeah, that's it, and they just did season two.

Chrystal: 6:40

Right and they're going to get another season. And yeah, that show is not about her being fat, it's just about her.

Merf: 6:47

Yeah, just her life. It's so amazing, like it blows our minds when it's just like it's just about our life, like I just swear, like I'll tell somebody that that's, you know, a thin person, and they're like what? Why is that a big deal? It's a big deal.

Chrystal: 7:02

Fatties have jobs, we go to work, we have relationships, we have sex, we have families. We have issues with our families, we have love and death and weddings and funerals and, just like every other human, we're not all funny, right, I like to think I am, but not all of us are funny or jolly.

Merf: 7:23

Right, and not all of us are timid and wallflowers and don't want, you know, to have any attention to put upon us.

Chrystal: 7:30

Yeah, and I don't know about you, but I don't settle when it comes to relationships and partners. Not at all. Never settle, no way. So yeah, exciting stuff is going on. It's just too amazing. And also, I should say, just for timing's sakes or when people are listening to this, we're recording this right as all of the Barbie stuff is going on. It's a little woo out there in the world about Barbie. I haven't seen it yet. I know you haven't seen it either, Merf.

Merf: 7:56

Now dying to see it. I may break down and end up in the theater seeing it. I'm just not that person. But I'm a huge Greta fan. She's a Sacramento native, so not only that, but she's just brilliant. And you know nothing of hers is just easy. You know it's not the shallow story. You're going to get lots of layers there.

Chrystal: 8:18

Yeah, I know, when I was a kid, I had a fat Barbie. I think her name was Tanner or Skipper or Skippy or I don't know. I remember she had thick thighs. Thick thighs and like thick ankles Of course, and I don't know. I wasn't that excited about it because I don't really have the best relationship with that whole Western beauty, ideal stuff. I, you know, I always felt like it was not, didn't represent me, you know. And also I noticed when I was little, how come there's no black Barbies? How come there's no, you know, barbies with a he job? I just, I was worried about things like that when I was like in the sixth grade. I remember my shirt that said when God created man, she was only joking. That I had made in the sixth grade, so I was tuned into these things. They were already. That sort of inequity was bothering me already. So I don't know. But now that I heard that Barbie and Mattel and Greta have pissed off conservative men and they're crying over it, I'm like, oh, I'll be there, I even if I just want to go there and give them money to buy a ticket to support this Because yeah awesome.

Merf: 9:23

Oh yeah, just it's. They're screaming from the rooftops it's, you're going to. It's all these feminists and they want to be down with the patriarchy and you know they want a man to have no unit. I can.

Chrystal: 9:41

Oh, my goodness, yeah, oh, it's like to woke for them, yeah. By the way they're the only ones that use that stupid word. Okay, so ridiculous. It's like the gay bill to say gay every time you talk about the gay bill. Anyway, yeah, I'm going to see it, I definitely going to see it. But there's so much buzz, right? They spent like $100 million on marketing the damn movie.

Merf: 10:05

Yeah, I guess they. I read an article that said that in January they started the countdown, you know, basically of like we are going to market the F out of this, like planting the little seeds.

Chrystal: 10:20

They did yeah.

Merf: 10:22

I mean, everybody dressed up in the outfits, and I just loved looking on. I haven't even been, but just seeing people, you know, going to the movie theater and their great little ensembles, I'm just like this is amazing and that's indeed that they have in the movie theater that you can get into so that you're the Barbie of genius, so genius.

Chrystal: 10:43

Yeah, great marketing team and love it. Yeah, I'll definitely go see it. I'm going to probably see it soon, just so I can feel a part of the buzz. You know, it's just, it's exciting. Also, I think Greta have like she's like breaking records, so also proving to Hollywood that women can make movies and be successful at it.

Merf: 11:01

Female director that make that much at a box office opening.

Chrystal: 11:04

It can be intersectional, it can be feminist. There's people out there that want to see all that. I mean, I'm assuming it is. I'm assuming it's because people I love and know who that's, those are important things to them. I know they're saying, heck, yeah, it's all those things. So yay, barbie. And then there's Oppenheimer. Jeez, I mean whoa.

Merf: 11:23

I really want to see it, just because I'm a huge Nolan fan.

Chrystal: 11:28

Yeah, me too.

Merf: 11:29

I mean, but I've just read like so much stuff about not only how Oppenheimer really took, took advantage of natives and and just basically burn them alive on their land from the fallout, from from what he created, and they didn't care. The government came in and was just like, if you're in an 80 mile radius, so much for you. And killed their livestock, forced them out all kinds of stuff just so that they could test there. It's like man that's jacked up. And then then you hear what Killian Murphy did. I gotta explain it, yeah, yeah.

Chrystal: 12:17

So you were talking about the indigenous people that? That's who they are experimenting on.

Merf: 12:21

That they basically went over there and then dropped the A-bomb there and could care less that they were like. They specifically chose native land so that it wasn't white people that were dying. Wow it sucks and the only thing out to an 80 mile radius. So there was a ton of people that they said just now, it's now, it's like a generational situation, because they're all so poor, they lost all their land, they lost all their, their ability to make money and have farm animals and, yeah, they just basically, like their entire family lineage is just, you know, the lowest of the low socioeconomic, and no land or nothing, you know, just decimated their families.

Chrystal: 13:08

Yeah, I don't want to go there, but our country has a reputation for a lot of that shit and sadly it's. But anyway, yes, the whole barbenheimer, the whole diet thing, the guy, what's his name? Killian. Killian, I think is how they said he, yeah, he was eating one almond a day and like oh gosh just a bit naceated. Your brain needs more than one almond a day. How do you, yeah, how do you? And I just think, oh gosh, you know that kind of things just starts to set people up for disorder, to eating or eating disorders. And remember when it was like eight almonds for a snack or some kind of keto bullshit and I was like eight almonds.

Merf: 13:55

Right, and can you imagine, like just one almond and you're running, you know, doing a 14 hour day on a movie set.

Chrystal: 14:03

No.

Merf: 14:04

I can't. I can't even imagine like the physical pain he had to be in just from not having enough anything. I mean, he's already a thin guy, so one almond a day is ridiculous.

Chrystal: 14:18

Why eat anything? What is that going to do? But that's, that's not healthy. It's really bad for your organs. It's bad for your brain. My brain wouldn't be able to think I would be in such a fog. I mean, my body requires food, even though I'm fat. I know people. Some people think that fat people have reserves, but now I still have to have my food. But killing, and why? Why couldn't they have done more, when I can CGI and make up and things like that, it's, it's such a terrible, terrible thing, I think it's.

Merf: 14:44

You know it's one of those weird like I'm a badass actor because I'm willing to, you know, change my body, to do whatever it is for the role. And you know, it's like Christian Bale had that for a while when he did I think it was called the machinist, where you know, like he wasn't eating and just that you see it and it's like okay, you know, you don't see a lot of women do that. I think Charlize was one of the first ones that did it for Monster, but it's, it's usually guys and it's interesting that it's like okay, you know, we're more than happy to put that as like, ooh, do this, cause you know Christian Bale did it, or Killian Murphy, and it's like no, you're really promoting a disordered lifestyle Like this is not okay.

Chrystal: 15:33

I always the kids. I think about young people who are still finding their way and are so confused, and it's going to cause all kinds of problems.

Merf: 15:44

Another situation, um current event wise that also is sad to hear and not not great on the outcomes is the reason um Lisa Marie Presley passed away. And I don't want your opinion on this, because I've seen a couple of different articles where they don't say it's due to bariatric surgery, they say due to scar tissue. And I, when it first came out, it was like boop, boop, reds, red, you know, sirens. It was like she died because of gastric bypass surgery. And then it was like I started seeing all the articles change and it was more like she died because of scar tissue.

Chrystal: 16:31

Scar tissue from her weight loss surgery. Yes, okay, either way, that's weight loss surgery. I mean, I think probably most listeners here are clear how we feel about weight loss surgery and it's really sad and scary. We know, I know, I know a lot of fat people. You know a lot of fat people and I know a lot of people who've been maimed. You know, when I was talking about Lisa Marie on my Facebook page and one of my friends who I met at Kirby girl, she's had, she had a weight loss surgery a year ago, december, and she's had 10, uh, 10 stomach surgeries since then. And, um, she has to have a clustomy bag. She's really young, she was not that fat, she just was. You know, most of us don't want to be fat because of the way people treat us. We know that we're not going to get, you know, you know, treated even like humans most of the time, especially by doctors. And yeah, I just people are saying, oh, yeah, I have no people that have been on to or have had two different weight loss surgeries. They're still fat today. Just not a fan. But why would Lisa Marie Presley need weight loss surgery? She, just I can't. Yeah, do you ever remember seeing her, even Chubby?

Merf: 17:38

No, I think probably the chubbiest she'd ever been was when she kissed Michael Jackson on the MTV Music Awards.

Chrystal: 17:50

It's got to be a double negative zero. Like who wants to be a zero? You're literally nothing.

Merf: 17:56

I just and to know, like I don't know, you know you mentioned the whole. Like we all know people who've had gastric bypass or weight loss surgery of some kind, lap band surgery. I haven't met a single person who hasn't drastically had a personality change after having that as well as some sort of medical complication. But yeah, has that been your experience too? Just?

Chrystal: 18:27

yeah, and the incidents of well, they have a lot of suicidal ideation after surgery. My theory is gut biome If you cut out 90% of your stomach, you're not having all those synapses that are supposed to happen in your gut. That, you know, tells your brain how you might feel. So that's my theory. I know nobody knows for sure why but alcoholism goes way, way up and way up. Yeah, quick way to get a lot of calories is to have some bourbon or have some, have a gin and tonic or whatever the hell you drink I don't know, have a lemon drop. I'm not much of a drinker but, yeah, it makes me sad that people would do that. But why, Lisa Marie? She had so much money. She could have done a million other things, but I don't know. It's sad she's so young. I'm 55. So whenever I see people like around my age, I'm like what Right?

Merf: 19:26

Hell. I mean, well, that's what I. It's sad, but at the same time, I'm really kind of glad that these kind of things do come to light, because there are so many celebrities that they've, you know, said, oh well, it was because of whatever, and it's like no, it was because they did something to try to be thin, like, I mean, karen Carpenter, Amy Winehouse, like you know. It's like people dying from like eating disorders and yo-yo dieting and the stuff that they put their bodies through with that I hate it.

Chrystal: 20:04

It's awful. It shouldn't happen like that at all. Yeah Gosh, a lot has happened since we talked last. Holy moly, it's so intense. How much is going Merf out out there, with all the celebrities and new shows and the good stuff and the bad fat stuff, and, like Lisa Marie's death, it just we've been. We went too long without talking. Right, there was a lot to cover. Hey, at least some of it's good news. Yeah. That's really exciting. We also have a new sponsor. We're so excited. Let's hear about it. Some people might remember our interview with Amazon, amanda. She's an Amazonian woman who gets paid to travel all over the world to squash men. Yes, all she's fully clothed and they pay her, and yeah, anyway, she has also created an adult film business called.

Merf: 21:00

BBW triple X adventures.

Chrystal: 21:03

Thank you, I don't have the memory for that kind of thing. Yeah, so fat women in the in the porn, yeah.

Merf: 21:11

And plus size guys, that's great, and all different body types of fat. So that's what I appreciate. You know it's like there's some some really nice variety and different ages, different like body modification stuff. So like she's really nailing it with this production company and and making this content it's it's like really like nice backgrounds and soft lighting. It's very, you know, it's premium stuff.

Chrystal: 21:48

Good deal. Yeah, she's, she's amazing. I'm so excited to check it out. I'm so excited that they are, they're willing and happy to be a sponsor for us. And, yeah, I love, I love working with them and I can't wait and I think our, our listeners are going to appreciate it as well. Now, some people don't like porn. That's fine. You don't have to tune in. You know it might not be for everybody, it's okay, but we love them and they love us and that makes us really happy and we like supporting them and they like supporting us. So that's, that's awesome. I'm so, so grateful to Amanda and your introduction to Amanda. You're the reason we met her.

Merf: 22:22

Oh she's. She's a nice, nice lady and I just appreciate the hell out of her. So I'm glad that she wanted to help us and will help her and send some traffic her way. And if you like plus size porn, though, I tell you I really enjoyed it.

Chrystal: 22:40

Yeah, I do. I like seeing my real bodies also enjoy bodies that have like tattoos and piercings and things like that as well, more alternative look. Yeah, I agree, I know we don't have the date set, but we're going to be interviewing Sophia Rose, who's also an adult movie performer.

Merf: 22:59

Yes, I've known Sophia and Amazon through the same group that we used to get together with and both of these ladies are fabulous. So I think it'll be great to talk to Sophia just about her life in the business and really, you know, learning how she she kind of helped shape some BBW categories and content when it comes to the adult industry, so it'll be a good combo, yeah yeah, yeah.

Chrystal: 23:29

So, Merf, are you ready to talk about our favorite section, because we like when you sing the jingle for us. Hot topics hey.

Merf: 23:43

Yes, so we are talking about Erogenous zones today. So Erogenous zones are anywhere on your body that, when touch, teased, licked, kissed all the different things that can be done provide you a heightened sense of pleasure. And there are many Erogenous zones. And really, you know, I'm sure for those of you who are elder, millennials or Gen Xers recognize the Cosmo little. Here's your seven Erogenous zones and they mapped them out for you and told you what to try and what not to try. And those of you that have not, maybe you've seen friends where Monica Geller is explaining to Chandler Bing all of the Erogenous zones and she gets to seven. And it's awesome, it was quite fun. So, yeah, let's talk Erogenous Crystal, tell me a little bit about what your Erogenous zones are.

Chrystal: 24:57

For me I love. I have a very sensitive neck, neck and ears and then one of my favorite spots on my partner is smelling his neck. I just I'm like, oh, that's like man smell, like so good to me, especially if he has a little bit of cologne on. He's been wearing for a little while and has like a vanilla note to it and I think, yeah, for me definitely. My nose is a big, I have to have my partner's needs to smell really good. I can't do stinky, anything like that, but my neck is. I mean I always say to you kiss my neck, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it, because I just I get, I melt, I melt. What about you?

Merf: 25:41

Yeah, oh, neck, for sure I really like the collar bone area Right, you know, base of the back of my neck, like that like a little bit of a tug of hair, you know like rough but not like super hard, just like that little tug feels good, I'd say. I definitely like the inner part of my arm, like my bicep area. I like that to kind of like be like have more of a rough texture. I was going to say one of the things that I started to try at we have like sex toy girls night at the sex toy store here in town and they brought out the little electric play so you put on the glove and like touch your arm or you know that kind of thing and like I noticed that like the insides of my arms are like really, really sensitive with that and I like it Interesting, yeah. So now I'm like, ooh, maybe I want to get one of those like little electric gloves or whatever they call it the violet wand glove maybe?

Chrystal: 26:59

Yeah, and I would recall another discussion on a different episode about your inner and upper arms. Yeah, my little butt arm, yeah, your butt arm. I knew there was a funny word, that's right.

Merf: 27:12

Yep, interesting, super sensitive and yeah, it's just like I think it's part of that skin that rarely gets touched, you know. So it's just it's extra sensitive. But yeah, is there any kind of specific toy that you like to like? I think of like feathers and you know, little leather whips.

Chrystal: 27:37

Yeah, vloggers, have you ever tried that little Wharton burger Wharton burger wheel? It's kind of a spiky little wheel and it has a handle, it's kind of like it's like about the length of a fork or a spoon and then, yeah, the wheel is kind of spiky and you can just, you know somebody, can you know run it over you or you can run it over them. You can make it hard or soft. It's kind of nice for me not so hard, but I'm really tender. And then I was going to tell you, you know, my day job. I'm an electrolysis and I noticed that I have a spot on my lower tummy and because sometimes I'm working on people's bikini areas or their navel to clear the hair, sometimes I'm like cleaning them with cotton or whatever, and then, you know, so I touch this like area and I have an area there too, which is like my lower tummy, to the right of my belly button, and I don't know what, even what it is. It's the weirdest thing. But if it gets touched, I'm like my body goes into spasms and I've noticed that other women on my table do the same thing. I'm like, oh, I have one of those spots. What is that Interesting? I don't really like, necessarily like it. Yeah. Or hate it. I'm just like what the hell is it? And I've noticed in all these, you know, years I've been doing electrolysis that other people have it and sometimes I forget that what I'm doing sometimes might tickle people because you know, I'm tearing out their hair not tearing, but I'm treating their hair one follicle at a time. Sometimes I have to wipe the hairs off or clean it and then I touch, you know, very sensitive areas, like they start laughing or whatever. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to tickle you. I don't want this to be like erotic. You know I'm here to do a job, right?

Merf: 29:14

That's fun though.

Chrystal: 29:15

Yeah, and then my anti-erotic zone do not go near my navel, do not touch my belly button, don't poke a finger in there, because whatever we're doing is over. I hate it Weird.

Merf: 29:27

I don't like the belly button I. The other thing I was thinking was like kind of like there's a spot in the back of my knee where it like the knee pit or whatever. Yeah, that one If a really good foot massage can definitely be, so my feet can be erogenous from time to time, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I usually ears are. I enjoy a little bit of ear stuff, but that can get me like super ticklish and like like a tongue in your ear.

Chrystal: 30:03

I'm like oh what, what Exactly? Oh, not that. I can't stand Dr Oz for many obvious reasons, but he did say one time in one of his stupid shows where he's giving away his quackery advice is that a quick way into a woman's heart is by massaging her feet. And I was like, oh, he got one thing right. Yeah, especially us bigger girls. Man, our dogs are barking. Yeah, you give me a good foot rub, I will do whatever you want.

Merf: 30:34

Yeah, I can rub my lower back, like just rub my lower back, yeah for sure.

Chrystal: 30:40

But for me I think my sense of smell is really the most important, like what attracts me to somebody else. And you know there's a lot of different information about pheromones and stuff. Your body's just always giving off pheromones. It's a hard thing to study because they're invisible, right? We know that dogs and animals give off pheromones and that attracts them to one another. Dogs can smell other dogs in heat from miles away because of these pheromones. So I don't know what the science is behind it, but I do know that I've met I'm sure this happened to you before you met said being you're like I can't stand that person. You spent 10 seconds with them. You're like nope. Sometimes I wonder is that the pheromones or are there? Other times you meet somebody I don't know why I love this person so much. I just maybe it's the pheromones are just like clicking, like yep, you two are a match, you know.

Merf: 31:29

Yeah, you get the same kind of energy or same vibe. Yeah, yeah, no, I completely agree, I had it both ways.

Chrystal: 31:35

Yeah me too, my friend. I remember she was married for a long time and I remember the very beginning of her marriage. She told me she didn't like the way her partner smelled and I was like, hmm, it's not going to go well. Neal breaker yeah, they stayed together for a long time but I was like that's, it's just not going to. It's so basic, right? So I don't know. Oh, I know another one playing with your hair. Oh yeah, I wish men could understand how much like we love that.

Merf: 32:06

Right, I just like I know I want like a girlfriend, just so that I can take out, touch each other's boobs and play with each other's hair. Like that sounds fantastic to me.

Chrystal: 32:25

Yeah, no doubt. Yeah, that's a good area for me too. I don't know why, but it is so good and, yeah, it's very intense for me.

Merf: 32:35

I'm like kind of good, like scalp rub.

Chrystal: 32:39

Oh yeah, oh, hell, yeah, we should have. We should ask our listeners to send us their favorite arid zones, or, if they have anything unusual. Oh, I'd love it. I'd love to talk about that Sexy at big sexy chatcom. We don't have to use your name if you don't want to, but send us, send them our way, so we can kind of come back to this at our next, in our next episode, and see what else people have. I'm sure people have all kinds of fun stuff that I never even thought of.

Merf: 33:08

Well, and I want to get granular too, so like, if you use a specific item for a specific area, I want to know about it, yeah.

Chrystal: 33:17

I mean, we all need more ideas. Okay, what If you are having a relationship that's more than like five years? You're going to need some new stuff.

Merf: 33:30

And hearing it from the people that you love is even better.

Chrystal: 33:34

It sure is. Because, things get tedious. You know it's like you know each other so well, you know each other's buttons, you know you get, everybody has their little map that they do to their partner and you get, so can be a little tedious. So yeah, send us your ideas for sure. Oh, more if I don't know if you noticed that we had some emails in our inbox from a certain person that was on one of our shows or our calls, and he's was us to tell everybody you know how much he loves fat women. And we have like 14 emails from him. I'm like, oh gosh, love you, but no, that's not okay. And we also had another question in the inbox, unless you're not ready to move on, but we have a question from a listener and I think there, I think their question came in around the time that we interviewed Jen McClellan from Plus Mommy about how to raise children that are not fat phobic. And then what else did we talk about? We talked about the new stupid guidelines with Jen. Anyway, the AMA or APA.

Merf: 34:39

The American Pediatric Association.

Chrystal: 34:42

Yeah, so this question came in then. This is from Josh Z and he I'm assuming he's a he wanted to know more family parenting, parenthood advice. He said he could use any kind of information that would help him with his children and you know, whatever we think that could help them and their family to not raise kids that are fat phobic and not be anti fat around your children.

Merf: 35:07

Right, I think that's it right there. You just nailed it, yeah, and you have to be the model with this, because you're setting them up to go into a world where everyone else thinks differently, and so well, I shouldn't say everyone, but the majority of the people think differently, and so it means being very transparent with your children and talking to them about, you know, these are sometimes people say things to people to just be mean, and that can be about their bodies and the size of their bodies are the way that their bodies look, or, you know, and just keeping it very, you know it has to be to their educational level, but also very realistic you know, kids. Kids are sponges and they can really spot BS, so the better that you are at just being honest and you know forthright about hey, this is the world that you're entering, you're setting your kid up for success because really it's about what they learn. And if you hear them say something that's rude or repeating back something that someone else has said that is inappropriate, you know calling them out for that and say, hey, we don't talk like that, this is not appropriate and why. You know, and you wouldn't like it if somebody came up to you and said something like that. You know, and just being very clear, but I think we are, our culture is just so steeped and the contrary, that it makes it that much harder for people to raise kids in this world and not be you know, not have some kind of question or not have to face some sort of issue with fat phobia, whether they're defending a friend or they're getting bullied or something like that themselves.

Chrystal: 37:01

You know, people always say babies aren't born racist, Right. Babies are also not born anti-fat or fat phobic, right. So that comes from their home life, their other outside of their home life, their friends in school and what they teach in school and what they see on television. I don't have any kids, but I mean I just it's, it's taught, it's all taught. It's because they, they, they soak in, like you, like you know the bumper sticker you have on your refrigerator that says nothing tastes as good as being thin or whatever they see other people saying on television making bully and fat kids. They start to kind of get this idea that it's okay and just like it's not okay to make fun of somebody because of their race or say something racist, it's also not okay to make some fun of somebody who's fat.

Merf: 37:51

Yeah, and that's a concept not not well understood, and I think part of that, too is you, if you're going to raise a kid in this world, because I'm I'm child free as well. But I see I see a lot of kids in therapy and deal with a lot of those issues. So I know if somebody's like, oh, I'm not going to listen to these people because they're not, you know, they don't have kids, they don't know what they're talking about. That's nonsense. So I think the biggest thing, though, is that you have to check yourself constantly, because, just like I mentioned, kids are sponges. They're watching when you don't think they're watching. So if you're, you know squeezing your fat, you know looking in the mirror or such a fatty or I can't eat that that's bad Like they're going to pick up on that language, those behaviors, all of those types of things. So you have to be very mindful of your anti fatness and recognize when the things that you experienced you need to learn, so that you can then stop that from happening to the next generation.

Chrystal: 39:03

I feel so fat, right, they hear that and they see you trying to look at your body in the mirror and look at certain different ways or, you know, saying that you know I'm going to be bad tonight. I'm going to have dessert. It just starts to layer after layer after layer, right, they start to inherit all of that information. And I know I'm like you and that I kind of feel like I helped raise some kids. I'm an auntie, you know, and I've had some friends whose kids I feel like I've kind of had a been a part of their village, of raising them. So I don't have any children that I gave birth to, but I'm not. I've been around kids a lot in my lifetime. I babysat since the time I was 12 years old and, yeah, it's, it's everywhere, you know, we know it's in all the magazines, it's in even just shopping. When I was a kid I couldn't buy clothes at the mall. I'd have to buy like tough skins from Sears and my mom have to take it up like six inches for the pant length. You know, husky, size Husky, that sends a message to you Absolutely.

Merf: 40:08

Absolutely, and the more that you recognize that in you, the better chance you have of raising a human that's not going to be a shithead. Compassionate.

Chrystal: 40:20

What do you do when you're out in the wild if somebody says something to you like I've had kids say oh my gosh, you're so fat. Or look at your fat tummy. Or mommy, why is this person's tummy so fat, why are they so fat? And I don't? I don't trip about it now. I used to get more but hurt, but now I just I just stop and go. Isn't that really cool? All our bodies are so different, Isn't that neat? And then I just move on. But what about? Has that ever happened to you?

Merf: 40:44

Oh yeah, it's happened to me. I usually just say bodies come in all shapes and sizes.

Chrystal: 40:49

That's a good one.

Merf: 40:50

Usually I do it with a big smile and then they're smiling, you know, so it's. It's usually not a problem. But I've had, you know, kids be little assholes and just be like, oh, look at her. You know it's like okay, yeah. And then you see mom and dad and you're like, yeah, got it.

Chrystal: 41:07

Yeah right, Good parenting, Good job. But yeah, it does it's. You know, even I know in some of the cartoons that kids watch, I guess there's sometimes bullying, or bullying of fat kids or anti fatness. I would never let my children or my nieces and nephews watch something like that. That's terrible.

Merf: 41:27

Well, and it's just so pervasive in our culture. Sometimes you don't even know that it's happening. Yeah sure. They're watching a show and then it's like, oh, what was that? Like that wasn't appropriate, you know.

Chrystal: 41:39

Speaking of fat rights and fat people, the most amazing organization, the National Association for the advancement. Oh, I have written down Merf. I have written down Napa, napa. Yep. National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. I have to write it down, I get it. I'm confused with NAACP. Anyway, they are the people, the organization, the 54 years old this year, and they're the people who are really working hard to help us get legislation passed so that we can fat people can become a protected class, and also tall people and people with body modifications and all that good stuff like we were talking about earlier. They are having. Well. First of all, August is Fat Liberation Month. Yay.

Merf: 42:29

Woohoo, august is also in a second. I think they've entered like some horns or something. You should yeah.

Chrystal: 42:35

Like pew, pew pew. It's also August. August is also anal sex month, Merf.

Merf: 42:40

Oh, double the pew, pew, pew.

Chrystal: 42:42

Get ready. Anyway, napa is having all kinds of events this month and there'll be 10 events and I know this. We probably won't be able to publish this until the middle of the month, but they have 10 events all month long and they're free and you can just go to their website. They have actually special landing page for this. Nafa, n-a-a-f like FrankAorg forward slash, f-l-m and yeah, all kinds of cool stuff in the evenings via Zoom. They do like a Friday night social most Friday nights. It's all free and they look really fun. People sometimes go in costumes, they have themes and they talk about the serious shit living in a fat body too. But I wonder if anybody know about that, because they do so much work for all of us and I really appreciate what they do and I know you do Merf, and get involved. You know, become part of fat community. Fat community is everything. It's so, so, so helpful. When you're trying to you know whether all these storms that fat people have to, you know, put up with.

Merf: 43:45

Come on, you meet new people, and usually people that have similar lives to you and understand the same issues that you experience. So you know that's community.

Chrystal: 43:58

When I, a long time ago, I went to my first meeting for families with alcoholism issues and Al-Anon, I don't remember being so tripped out I didn't realize so many other people were having my exact same life. I was like wow. I was looking around the room and people would get up and speaking. I was like shut up, I did not know. And that's like being in community with fat people right, they have all the same shit you have to deal with. They, you know, can't find clothes or their backs of their skirts right up, you know, to show their butt, Because people don't take our hips into consideration when they make us clothes on our size and they can't fit into chairs and you get fat shamed at restaurants. It's so fun to talk with people who live your same life and speak your same language.

Merf: 44:51

I the snaps. Snaps like yeah, that's 100. As my nephew would say, that's dead ass. I haven't learned the new lingo yet.

Chrystal: 45:04

You're so dead ass.

Merf: 45:07

But yeah, I mean that's it's a great opportunity. And you know, being in mental health and hearing constantly about the epidemic of loneliness, it's really something that I think a lot of people kind of brush off, but it's really. We're seeing huge numbers for suicide and people feeling depressed and it's really, when you boil it down, it's I don't have somebody, I don't have somebody to talk to, I don't have that community, that connection and NAFTA's offering that.

Chrystal: 45:43

So, yeah, all month advantage, yeah, so go party with Tigris and all the other fun NAFTA people and give them some support. If you can afford to, you can even give them a little money. I do like $10 a month through their auto pay on Facebook and you know I just. It's not much, but I want to help anyway I can. I should also mention, before we start talking about sex toys, we do have our very first subscriber. I put our little link to subscribe to our subscription, whatever you want to call it in the last newsletter and a person signed up to do $3 a month, which we so appreciate. I'm not going to say her name because she did not expressly give me permission to mention it, but we appreciate her. She was our very first subscriber and we love to have more subscribers. If you like our content, it is. You know it's expensive to put out our show, but we do it. We love it. We love connecting with all of you and engaging with all of you and sharing with all of you. But I'll put the link to the subscription on our all of our socials, of course, and on the blog and in the newsletters. So if you also want to sign up to subscribe, you're welcome to cancel anytime. We pay about $40 a month just to host the website, and then about $625 a month to record and everything when it comes to podcasts a month, so we could use some help. We're not making any money yet. One day, though, I know it's coming. But yeah, thank you to our first subscriber. We appreciate you, subscriber, you're the best she is.

Merf: 47:16

Yay, I'm so excited. I love the idea of people being able to subscribe and just be like. You know, one buck, two bucks. This person gave three bucks. That's amazing. Like every month you're going to give us three bucks. Like all that adds up, I'll take it.

Chrystal: 47:31

It's like a Patreon, but without going to the work of doing all of Patreon. I like it.

Merf: 47:36

Okay, well, I think we should talk about the vibe of the week.

Chrystal: 47:42

Oh, yay, I'm excited to talk about this. I don't have it yet, I haven't tried it yet, but I'm going to get a copy. I'm going to get a copy. I'm going to get a sample. I'm working on a couple of samples but so far I know for sure I'm going to get a sample and it's from one of our current sponsors, liberator. They make sex furniture and sex blankets Merf and and our big fans. Already, even without their sponsorship, I've been a fan of their products for gosh, I don't know, 30 years. They asked me if I wanted to try a new product called the Scoop Rocker and it's kind of cool. It almost looks like the top of a muffin, like a muffin top. So, flat on one end and then kind of curved or arched on the top part. Actually you can have it either way, but basically they're making it for larger people. So bigger people were taller people, wider people. So they want me to try to see if it's going to work for a fat body. And it has some restraints on it. It comes with restraints and it's the whole the disc. The muffin top is soft, of course. It's all soft, you know, to your feel, and there's a way to restrain somebody to this little muffin top pillow thingy with, like your hands or your ankles or all four. Oh yeah, you don't have to use the restraints if you don't want to. But it's just like a sex chair beanbag but not beanbag. It's that same liberator, high density foam, I think Well, I know it is which I know holds up to my big ass.

Merf: 49:11

I've had that black label with the restraints built on it. It's so convenient. You don't need to think it's all done, so you just put it all together and you're set.

Chrystal: 49:21

Yeah, and it has like all the liberator products. You can take the cover off and on, throw it in the washer in case you get lube or other stuff on it, and then you can. Just, I've noticed with all of mine, as soon as I take the cover back out of the dryer and put it back on the pillow or the tool, the toy, they always go on perfectly so they don't ever shrink. They have really heavy duty plastic zippers. Anyway, the products are so great and also, if you get on it, get on it so that the round edge is towards the bottom, it rocks. That's why they call it the scoop rocker. I like it. No, I can't wait.

Merf: 49:55

I can't wait that might be fun with the doggie strap.

Chrystal: 49:59

Yes, exactly, and I'm going to. Once I've tried it, I've committed to making a video for them and if they, if I love the product, I'm assuming they will want to use the video. If I don't love the product, I doubt they'll want to use the video. But I also asked them if we could do some liberator throw blankets, giveaways, and they said yes. So we'll make sure everybody knows about that soon. And they said they'll make a video for us to use in our marketing of the free giveaways. They have a bunch of new sizes of throws. I'm a little bit like extra, extra King, california King size. We also have smaller ones now too. So I was thinking we should do like does size matter? Kind of giveaway and giveaway. I love their throws. Do you have their throws?

Merf: 50:42

I used to have one. I don't have one now. We've been looking at getting one, but just haven't pulled the trigger on it.

Chrystal: 50:49

They hold about 10 to 15 years. I'm not sure that they start to kind of not be so water safe anymore. But you know God, they're amazing, they're beautiful and they've again wash and dry perfectly.

Merf: 51:00

Yeah, great. I haven't found a single product from them that I don't enjoy. I know me too.

Chrystal: 51:06

They make good stuff. And thank you, liberator, for thinking of fat bodies, and I think that's the black label on you have. Those are specifically designed for fat bodies.

Merf: 51:16

Correct. Yeah, it's a wider foam. It's meant for higher density or higher weight.

Chrystal: 51:24

So yeah, nothing but praise for liberator and what they're doing when it comes to sex furniture for fat folks and thank you for supporting big sexy chat and we're happy to support you back, because it's not often that you find things that are made for, just specifically for, fat people. You have to take something and you know, I don't know, adjusted or whatever. Not a lot of people in the sex toy industry really think about us. I'm trying to get it across to them. They should, because we have a lot of fat money. We want to spend our fat money on fat cool stuff and stop ignoring us. But liberator, a company called Sports Sheets that makes a doggy style strap, they've thought of fat bodies. They created their products and everybody loves the Hitachi wand. It wasn't designed for fat bodies but it works great for fat bodies. So thank you to Hitachi.

Merf: 52:19

So all the other wand people start paying attention because we want stuff that has long arms on it so that we don't have to use our little T-rex arms and we pop our shoulder out of place.

Chrystal: 52:32

Exactly. Yeah, so true, yeah, and like I want, hitachi is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but it's kind of wow. You know it's not sexy or cute, just really gets the job done, though, but it's also a great back massager. But, yeah, think of us in your designs. We want cool designs, we want the metallic designs or the purple velvety designs, and we want the suction and we want it all. Yeah, don't forget us, because we want to buy this stuff and use it. Fat people have sex, you guys. I know it's shocking to people, but we do.

Merf: 53:04

And we spend a lot of money on stuff that we enjoy.

Chrystal: 53:09

And we make up 70% of the population in the United States. So hello Right. Is there anything else that we want to talk about today? It feels like it flew by.

Merf: 53:20

Right. I think we caught up. We've got some fun stuff in the works.

Chrystal: 53:25

We sure do.

Merf: 53:26

We've got some episodes that should be dropping here before this one does so, yeah, lots of good stuff. We're on the move. We're starting to be movers and shakers.

Chrystal: 53:38

Absolutely. Oh. Yeah, I'm assuming we have the Full Figure Industry Awards in November and then FatCon in January. We have lots of information to drop about that soon, so stay tuned. Yeah, check out fatconorg and the Full Figure Industry Awards. We're so happy to be in the top four of the best podcast Just because of all of you voted for us, and thank you so much for that. So all right then, if that's it, please email us. We love hearing from you on our socials and email sexy at big sexy chat. What else, Merf?

Merf: 54:15

We're on threads, we're on Instagram, we're on Facebook at big sexy chat and you can find us at big sexy chatcom. Subscribe, like, share what else, and subscribe. Give us a dollar and subscribe.

Chrystal: 54:34

We would be so grateful for any donations that you can make, because, yeah, it's expensive but so worth it. We love what we do and this is so wonderful. So thanks to everybody who listened. Always go to the website big sexy chatcom. That's where you can sign up for our newsletter and that's how you can stay up to date. I send out like two a month.

Merf: 54:55

And they're always got good content, so it's not like it's some long newsletter that's lost on anybody. It's going to be about sex toys, y'all.

Chrystal: 55:04

Yeah, good stuff, Awesome Thanks, Merf. I will see you later. Alligator.

Merf: 55:10

After a while Krakadile.

Speaker 2: 55:15

So where can you find your favorite fatties? You can find us at big sexy chatcom on all the social medias, at big sexy chat on Twitter, big sexy chat, pod and Crystal. How can they reach us?

Chrystal: 55:30

Oh, Merf, the best way to reach us is by email, which is sexy at big sexy chatcom. Remember to like, subscribe and share, please.