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What would it mean to you if you could be part of a community that not only recognizes your talents but also celebrates your uniqueness? Imagine an environment where plus-size individuals are valued and their contributions to their industry are rewarded. This is exactly the world, Tawana Blassingame, Executive Producer of The Full Figured Industry Awards and CEO, Editor in Chief of Queen Size Magazine. We are privileged to sit down with her in this episode as she shares her journey and aspirations, her love for podcasting, and the intricacies behind the Full Figure Industry Awards.
Tawana pulls back the curtain on the nomination and voting processes that make up the Full Figure Industry Awards, emphasizing the importance of impartiality and alliances within the industry. She reveals the satisfaction she gains from seeing the impact that plus-size representation in mainstream awards can offer. We also discover Tawana's insights into the gaps in men’s fashion within the plus-size industry and discuss her creative hobby - soap making!
We wind down with an honest conversation about our personal lives. Tawana conquers her nerves for on-camera interviews, and we both share our own experiences in our careers and our journey with mental health. We reflect on the importance of the communities we serve and express our gratitude to our listeners. We hope that by joining us, you too will appreciate the magic of awards, fashion, and community building in the plus-size industry. Tune in for an enlightening chat and be inspired.
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00:04 - Full Figure Industry Awards - Recognition and Inclusion
08:35 - Inclusion and Expansion in Awards Shows
13:56 - Award Show Planning and Sponsorships
28:52 - Hobbies, Soap Making, and Fashion Gaps
33:33 - Shopping, Awards, and Community
43:39 - On-Camera Interviews and Overcoming Nerves
48:27 - Personal Connections and Passionate Careers
59:02 - Gratitude for Listeners and Promotion Channels
Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Murph. We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month. We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community, cannabis, cbd you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy. Hey, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. We're so excited to have you. My name is Crystal, I'm Murph and we have a wonderful guest. We have Tawana Blasengame, who is the creator or co-creator of the Full Figure Industry Awards, but also the creator of Queen's Size magazine since 2011. And we're so excited to have Tawana here to tell us all about the industry awards, the industry, the magazine, all the good stuff that she's doing this around fat liberation, fashion and fun.
Speaker 2:Welcome, Tawana. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Our pleasure, our pleasure.
Speaker 3:So we have so many questions, but we'll try to keep them as many as we can in the time allotted. So first, what made you want to start the Full Figure Industry Awards?
Speaker 2:It all came from me watching mainstream award shows and continuously asking myself like why don't we have something like that from our industry? There's so many talented people in our industry Like why doesn't something like that exist for us? Well, why aren't we not even included in the other awards? So you know like the story goes, if you don't, if it doesn't exist, then you built it right. So that was really the reason why I started it, really because I feel like so many talented individuals are unseen unrecognized, absolutely.
Speaker 3:And you know, I think about how many award shows that there are and how many categories, and you're right, our industry has really left out. The only time I can think of where it's truly considered is like the Avian Awards, and I think they took that away at one point. So it's like you know, come on, there's like you said, there's so many people in so many categories. I'm sure you could probably even come up with more categories than you've got, right.
Speaker 2:Of course I can. We really dialed back from year one because we had over 20 categories the first year and that was a long show. It was good, but it was a long show. So you know, we had to kind of dial back and create fewer categories in a shorter show.
Speaker 3:Totally understand. Well, speaking of that like so, how long has the awards been happening?
Speaker 2:So we are going into our fifth year of production. November 4th we'll make our fifth year, fifth year.
Speaker 3:Wow, so ultimately like long term goal. Where do you see this going?
Speaker 2:Oh, I see us sitting next to mainstream. I want to be a part of the mainstream award season. That's where I want to be.
Speaker 3:I could just see, like you know the I think of, like the awards, like with the E news and that you know all that kind of stuff like having our own little like group of folks interviewing people and having them walk by and you know, like yeah, yes, I would love that. Yeah, crystal, what would you like to say?
Speaker 1:First of all, we are so honored to be nominated, our podcast nominated. We are, I mean, like we're beyond excited. It's not even the right word, but I wanted to know when did podcasting get added to the lineup of things that you are awarding, or was it always on there?
Speaker 2:It's always been one from the first year. Always there's a lot of podcasts that are focused on the plus industry. So it was and I know a lot of podcasts is personally that have these so it was like I couldn't leave them out, so it was always there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it seems like podcasting really has its own built in audience, you know, and so. I think of like, especially with our group, our community. It's just like I mean, I've seen so many folks reaching out and like, like I've been looking for another plus size podcast, like I already listened to and named a bunch of them, and I'm just like, absolutely yeah, it seems like there's a lot of community built around the just talking and sharing our experiences.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I love podcasts. So I'm like, and every now and again, because you know, some people stop and the new ones come up that you may not know about, so every once again I'll just play a post down, you know what new podcasts are there, and just like listening to some. I love podcasts, I love them and you know, and it may be because I used to do podcast, so I still have that love for it and I want to go back to my casting, but it just doesn't fit into my schedule. What did you podcast about? So I had a podcast for five years and this was before the magazine. It was called Girl, can Me Talk, and so it was just everything, anything you know, whatever, whatever hot topic was for the day. That's what we talked about.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, very cool. I see in the past a couple of our friends have been nominated or have won, like Marie the Kirby fashionista, shane. I go way back, because I used to have a boutique called Kirby Girl and we were going to make a TV show together. But then that's a long story. And then also Marcy. Marcy Cruz was a past recipient and I saw the Chubster is. I think they were nominated for blogging or something. I can't remember what his category was.
Speaker 2:So Cruz is nominated for blogger. Last year they won podcasts.
Speaker 1:Oh cool, his podcast is sensational, I love it we're in really good company, murph, and if you, if you do, you know who Marie is from the Kirby fashionista Murph yeah, she's amazing.
Speaker 3:She's like even then, all the folks that were nominated, like Jen, you know, like plus mommy, like yeah, it was just just a great list of people and I was like heck, yeah, it feels amazing to be in the same category as these people.
Speaker 2:And you know, what's so funny is and this is what a lot of people say a lot of people say, well, who nominated me? Like, who listens to me, who watches me? And the funny thing, you don't know how. You don't, you will never know. You never know. I mean because the nominations that come in, and that's when I get to learn a lot of new people as well, Because I've been like who's this person nominated? And then I have to look them up and find out who they are and then, oh, I love them, Follow yeah.
Speaker 3:It seems like a really great way to build community just in the sense of like you could have like a whole list. I'm sure that you know we can go back to previous award shows and just see all the categories, and people could be filling their feed with all these folks.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's just that's incredible yeah.
Speaker 1:I love it. It's really good for your self esteem, too, if you follow more fat creators.
Speaker 3:So I'm curious what other award programs you think should involve fat categories Like give me some examples.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm okay with being the only one, but but I mean, if you want to be included in more, I definitely think that, first of all, all of them, every single last one of them right, because if you look at you know the VAT awards, right. So there are. First, she started out as a model, she's an actress now right, she's killing it on VET, right, and I look at she's on Sisters and she's on another show that I haven't watched yet, but I watched this movie in Zynga's audience. So, hello, why is it? Why isn't, why isn't she included in that? So I think all of them. I mean, if you look at even you know the Stella Watts, how many plus sides gospel singers are there? I think we should all be included, and it does not necessarily have to be a plus side, best singer or something like that, but you know, I too want to see some bigger bodies in these categories.
Speaker 1:I always watch the mainstream shows and then watch for plus size people.
Speaker 2:So I think you will do that yeah.
Speaker 1:And like write a blog, write a blog or something about it and like hey, a fat person was at the Oscars.
Speaker 2:I love to watch the red carpet movements, right when, and I mostly watch it on social media the people that I follow in the plus industry, because I know that they are going to post all the plus size bodies. That was on the red carpet and that's what I'm here for.
Speaker 3:Yes, one award moment that really stands out to me because I was a teenager then was when Cameron Mannheim won and she held up the award and said this is for the fat girls. And I was just like, oh, like you know, it was so startling, I mean it was amazing, but it was just so you didn't say those kind of things like that. Right, and it's that. You know you were a fatter plus size. And here she is winning an award and, and you know, throw it up in the air saying go fatties. I was like, oh my gosh, there is hope yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's interesting how, just because you know people look a certain way and this is not just four plus bodies, but including plus bodies it's just interesting when people look a certain way is, you know, they're just not included. I don't know, maybe because we don't fit the average standards of society, you know. But you know we are just insolented.
Speaker 3:Right, absolutely. What's your favorite part of the word show process?
Speaker 2:Oh, the what's your process my favorite part so much work I think probably my favorite part might be when I get to the stage of reaching out to the honorees. The honorees are really the pioneers in our industry, right? So for me, you know, reaching out to somebody like Gwen Duvall who's a personal friend of mine for who has been killing the game for so long, or even Marie Diney reaching out to her and Alexandra Bowles reaching out to her and having a phone conversation, was like hey, I want to give you this award, and for me that is just so validating, like little on me giving these people who have paved the way for me. So that's probably one of my favorite parts.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh, that's fantastic. I just think of, like, how fulfilling that has to feel. You know just like like it's full circle.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yep, how cool Are you planning on adding any different categories or expanding categories? I know you said you kind of scaled it back down, but is there anything that's just kind of like? Oh, that seems like it's kind of becoming a thing Like I thought, like tick tock, like who's going to be like the new tick tock star or something like that, you know so?
Speaker 2:yes and no. What I really want to do is and this is probably in not the near future, maybe a few years from now, because you know, we just have to make it make sense but what I really want to do, I would like to add more categories and just have those categories done online and then have them attend the show to personally give them the awards, but the whole process just to be like an online thing, rather us just giving out 50 awards on the day of the show. That's my thought process, but you know it's just having to iron it or out and make it make sense and then just building it into the production itself, which is already a big thing.
Speaker 3:Right. It makes me think of the Oscars, how they have like the more like technical awards before or whatever it is that makes sense. Like it because I can't even imagine how much effort and work goes into coordinating a full award show and like executing it and making sure that you know all those pieces and it's so. Having 50 categories, yeah, that would be overwhelming for one night.
Speaker 2:And so one thing is I said before that where I want to be, my goal is where I want to be Right. And so in order to get to where you want to be, you have to kind of mimic what they're doing, so to speak, right, not really reinventing the wheel, but you know what is the mainstream awards show doing and how can we do that as well, so that when we do, when we do get to mainstream, you know they don't have to say well, you know you have to change X, y and Z. So just kind of following or mimicking their, their models, so to speak. So, and then the other thing is with one of the reasons why I don't feel like I'm just ready to do it yet, because, again, what we're doing right now is just, it takes a full year for the production itself. We pretty much start the day after the award show ends and we start planning for the next show. So it is a lot. And I know a lot of people say they look at the categories and they're like you know, where do I fit in? And so there are some people, I know, that are left out right now, but you know you won't be left out forever. Support now.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And we will build that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I was thinking, oh, first of all Cameron Mannheim won the Emmy 1998 Best Supporting Actress, Nice and I was thinking about there's a lot of fat comedians and a lot of fat dance groups and like dance, put on dance events at least here in the Bay Area, and I'm like, oh, I could see, I could see that those being really cool categories in the future.
Speaker 2:And then what we have entertainer already.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right, you do.
Speaker 2:But you have to generalize them as much as I possibly could, sure, and I did not feel left out but, I, know that there are still some missing links.
Speaker 1:You can't ever make everybody happy. All the way I was going to tell you too. You said starts the next day, because at Oscars they say that, yeah, the next day it's already, the planning is already beginning and you know all of the award shows. It takes a year.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and technically I'm already planning some aspects now for next year anyway.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I'd imagine you're kind of always calibrating. Yes, you know like this is happening. Okay, let's adjust here, or let's change that, or you know oh this vendor isn't available anymore. We've got to find somebody new, or you know? Yep, I'm sure. Yeah, because things happen. What would you say is the most difficult part of the award process?
Speaker 2:The most difficult part is the nomination part, the process, both the nomination and the voting part, because there's so many great people Right. So then you have to narrow it down and that's the most difficult part. Now, although I don't fully take part in both processes, I you know I still have to oversee and make sure everything is running smooth. So I see a lot of nominations that come in and I'm like, oh God, that one is my favorite and then just remain unbiased as well. So, yeah, that's probably the hardest part, yeah.
Speaker 3:I'd imagine. So You're just like oh, I want everybody to win.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you, there are some times that I cried, looking at, you know, the finalists, like, oh my God, why didn't so-and-so make it in? So you're, like you know, got to remain unbiased.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I imagine that's got to be pretty difficult. The more often you're doing this, the more people you're engaging with.
Speaker 2:Yes, because I know a lot of people in the industry and so I have to remove myself from the process because for me but it just becomes personal. So if you know somebody who I am personally friends with, don't win. It's like they looking at me like girl I thought we were friends Like I can't do that.
Speaker 3:Like you have some part in saying. You know like, oh, this person needs to go forward, or they don't, or yeah, right, and you just naturally fall into being the bad guy in that scenario.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely Absolutely. People talked about me, you know I don't want to be a friend anymore.
Speaker 1:So you have some new sponsors, I saw.
Speaker 2:Yes, I like when the when I say smaller brands right, because I don't typically like saying smaller brands, but you know, brands that are not corporate, that are in our industry, who believe in the award show and want to support it. That to me, and we still have more sponsors that we have not even announced yet. I'm trying to, you know, phase them out a little by a little, rather than just dropping them all at one time and just giving people, you know, their moments to just enjoy that that the social media opposed an engagement before I drop more people with it. You know there are more people who want to support the award show and I'm happy, I'm appreciative. Is Shapely a new company? No, so Shapely is not a new company. They've been out for a little while. They just went through a rebrand and I met them a few years ago. A couple of years ago I met them one of the models that live in Florida, heidi. She came up to New York and she reached out to me and she was like hey, I'm going to be in New York, I'd love to have dinner or whatever, right? So we went to dinner. Before we went to dinner, she was like oh, is it okay, I'm staying with my friend, so is it okay if I bring her? I was like, yeah, she was more than married. So that's when I met Aya, the founder of Shapely, and we got to talking. We stayed until she had an event and she invited me to private events. So me and my VP went. We enjoyed ourselves. Then we had some business conversations afterwards because we had questions. We had a business meeting and just like that business meeting, just like flourished into all these amazing ideas and it was like how can we work together? And then, finally, we sat down and just ironed everything out and was like, hey, this is what I can offer. This is what I can offer. We just came together and just formed this partnership that I'm so proud of.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. That's the kind of stuff that lights my fire. I love seeing how we can help each other, how we can have our alliances, how we can promote one another. We all have to help each other. Rising tide lifts all boats. I love it and I just I love all the business part, with the brain storming and spitballing and trying to figure out how is everybody going to sit together. That sounds like something I would just love. It sounds like a good time.
Speaker 2:Yes, it was amazing, Her and IA and Toya both of them, which is amazing individuals, very smart and just learning what they do outside of the industry and they are so smart. I mean just brilliant individuals outside of the industry. So I enjoy our partnership right now and there's so much more to come from that partnership.
Speaker 1:That's just the tip of the iceberg, and your own magazine is one of your sponsors too. Your health and sponsor industry.
Speaker 2:Oh well, you know what it's a no brainer. When I started the full figure industry awards, I tried to leave them separate. I tried, but and even my team said it to me they were like you know, that's impossible. And I was like, oh, it's possible, I can do it, but because people know me for QSM, it's like they just automatically put the two together and they continuously do it. And so people kept saying the Fiest Presented by Queen size magazine? And I was like no, it's not, it's not. And then you know what, after the year two, I just gave it and I was like, okay, it's the Fiest Presented by QSM, okay, so yeah, of course we have to be these sponsors.
Speaker 3:So you have to tell us about the magazine.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, fun story. Fun story about Queen size magazine. So this is actually my second magazine, right? The first magazine I started it was called Royal Circuit, and the reason why I got into publication itself is because, for some reason, when I was young, I loved my handwriting. This is where it all started. As little Suanna just writing, I loved my handwriting and so I just got into the habit of writing and then I would write stories and then I just loved writing. So I was like, oh, I want to write for a magazine, right, because me being a little Suanna, it's like I was a little big Suanna, though I didn't pick up magazines and see people like me in publications, right. So I was like, oh, I can write for a publication, right, and then I can start bringing all the bigger people in, right, that was my goal. This was 12-year-old Suanna. That was my dream. But the dream of writing for a publication just stayed with me as I got older. I wrote two books, but I still wanted the publication. So I was like, oh, let me just start my own. When I became an adult and I started the Royal Circuit, and the Royal Circuit was all about the circuit community, the bike clubs, the social clubs. You know all about that. But a year after doing that I realized that you know, that's just not my demographic, that's not what I loved. After a year of interviewing 10 biker clubs, 20 social clubs, like it was like, ok, what else, what else can I do with this? And it was like there was no way else I can go with it because it wasn't my passion. And so I had to find something. If I was going to say in the publication realm, it had to be something that was personal to me and I was like, ok, I'm plus, maybe I'll start a plus-size publication, right? And so that's what I did. And Queen Size Magazine was always called Queen Size Magazine. It started out as just lifestyle. There was no fashion or nothing in it, it was just lifestyle. And it gave a platform for a plus-size woman to just tell how amazing they are in their plus-size bodies. And then, of course, that kind of evolved. We bought in fashion because one of my writers was like, oh, we should introduce fashion into the magazine because she was a model. And I was like, yeah, you go right ahead, that's your column, because Tawana does not do fashion. But honey was the one and she started the plus-size column and it just evolved. And then later on, and probably I think, nine years in, it became called when the big and tall started to bloom. So now it's a lifestyle in fashion magazine for plus-size men and women.
Speaker 3:That's so cool. There's nothing like having a physical copy of a magazine in your hand and just perusing through it and it just hits different and so and you know what?
Speaker 2:Unfortunately, when the pandemic hit, we ceased the print copies, of course, because people were spraying out their mail and stuff like that. So it was like we don't want people to get their publications spray it down, and even though it comes wrapped in plastic like you never know, people got into plastic and people's minds like somebody else touched it. So it was like let's stop with the print issues for now, until life. And then we realized that most of our readership came from online and so we just never went back to print and it makes me sad because I love the print but we never went back to it.
Speaker 1:Tawana, I don't know how old you are, but I'm 55. And I've told the story before on the podcast. But something that sort of clicked in my brain when I was about 12 or 13, and I went to shopping at Lane Bryant, you know where they sell older lady office clothes, because where else am I going to shop? And that's my mom's equation. She knew where to take me is Lane Bryant, and so I looked like an old lady. My clothes when I was 12, but hey, they fit. But I saw at the register of BBW magazine. It was called BBW. And that was before BBW got sort of co-opted by the porn industry, but I was like big beautiful women. Wait, what it was like. I was like, oh, I'm going to be like. Oh, I'm going to be like. Oh, I'm going to be like, holy crap. So are you? Are you old enough to ever remember that magazine?
Speaker 2:I've heard of it. Never read it. Yeah never really been a fan of the BBW term.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I said, this was, like you know, I'm talking like 30 years ago. Yeah you got to be something different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've never read BBW. I've heard of it. I've seen it was never really picked it up.
Speaker 1:There was one recently that I was writing a call for that magazine. What was that called? Can't? Remember now it was like in the last five or six years when I have a boutique and she was focusing on and I and you could find the magazine, like Barnes and Noble's and stuff.
Speaker 2:It was, was it.
Speaker 1:Fabulous, that's it, fabulous yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Fabulous was I don't. They don't put out print issues anymore. I don't know and, to be honest with you, I don't think they.
Speaker 1:they still have a shadow? I don't think so. I don't think so. No, yeah, it's too bad though. It was really great, it was really exciting. I would go to Barnes and Noble and take it and put it out. All the different parts of Nobles put it the front. Yeah, people see it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I almost went the route of going on newsstands, but the overhead on that is Crazy and the return on it is even crazier, so I was like you know what?
Speaker 3:let me just continue to what I'm doing over here well and and I'm telling my age you know of the Needing a print magazine because it hits different. But for you know, this newer generation and a lot of people that are much, much more tech savvy than I am, it's cool to do that and and have it online and, you know, be able to skim through it and yeah, I mean it totally makes sense that that would be the the new way of going, and also you're helping the environment by not Printing a bunch of paper.
Speaker 2:But I too, I do miss it, though I miss I miss holding the magazine. I have every issue Imprint that I put out, going back to the very first issue. So I love picking up a magazine and just flipping through it and reading it. It's it just. It brings me so much to it. But you can do that now.
Speaker 1:It's like a candle versus a book. Right, much like love the smell of a book, I love the smell of a bookstore and I love the seal of the paper in the book. Yeah, so damn easy. You can even read your candle on your phone.
Speaker 2:I know my VP. Just he keeps trying to talk me back in to go and then to print. But it is a lot of work, it's a lot of work, it's a ton of work. So I kind of used to the digital era and I don't know that I want to put in that much work again. Especially with start and you know the fire is, it's like I have more time to do other things.
Speaker 3:Speaking of other things. When you aren't planning a massive award show or Writing a magazine, what do you do for fun or like? What are the things that you like to do you?
Speaker 2:know it's interesting. So I still work in Incorporate America. I still have I call them my, my private sponsors. So I called them because they they fund everything else. So I work in human resources for a large health system. That's one of the things I do for fun. I have two sons who are Amazing and and keep me busy. I mean they're big but you know they still my babies. I recently a couple of years ago got into soap making. So I make soaps as well, which is a lot of fun for me because it literally awakens my creativity. I never thought I was very creative, but making soaps it's like it does. I get to do so many different patterns, mix colors and stuff like this. So that's my happy place and I love making soaps. So you know, soap making is one of the things that I do for fun. And you know, every now and again when I don't feel like doing anything at all, you know I sit in binge-watching Netflix. What are you watching now? Oh, so I have recently become addicted to Korean shows. Yes, they are amazing. Right now I'm watching this one called a celebrity, which is really good. I mean, you have this on watching Korean shows. It's just they are so good. So now my Netflix algorithm is like they all that solutions recommend. I'm really. I did watch Squid games. Oh yes, oh yeah, it's crazy. That was really crazy.
Speaker 1:It was really intense. Do you sell your soaps on Etsy or anywhere like that?
Speaker 2:So I sell my soaps right now or by word of mouth, right, because for me this is my problem I'm scared to get too big with the soaps because I'm scared that I'm not gonna have time to fulfill all these orders. So for me it's just like word of mouth. I do, you know, souvenir for baby showers, and people contact me. I do holiday soaps, I do for events like right now. I just did soaps for when Devos silver Fox even so, so she can put in her bags. But I'm getting there, I will be online soon.
Speaker 3:You need to make like the, you know, like the, trying to think of what they call them, the swag bags or whatever. Like you're gonna have, it's gonna have your magazine. It's gonna have soap, it's, that's great. Yes, trains, I love it. Stastic. So one of the things you know that kind of comes up is like, in our fat community it's it's difficult to navigate from time to time, and One of the things that we try to talk about is like what are the gaps that you see in our community that Need to be addressed or need to be recognized, that just aren't I?
Speaker 2:Think one of the biggest gaps is probably on men's fashion. They are where we started and so you can buy like urban wear, but styles clothes for men. I think that that is that that's a missing length there, and I think one brands need to start tapping into the big and tall market.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I only think of King size. I think that's like the only brand that I can think of guys King size.
Speaker 2:There's DXL, there's MVP collections, which is more of Urban wear. Anyway, one of the our honorees, mike Moss, who owns big, big man culture, he does suits For a big and tall men as well. There's a couple of brands that doesn't. But you know, over all for the big and tall, I want to see more. I think we all want to see more. The men want to see more.
Speaker 3:Yeah, regularly here Men share that you know, especially when it comes to Fashion and industry of, like you know, modeling and that kind of thing too, that you just don't see that same representation. No male side of the the coin.
Speaker 2:No, we need more of that. We need, we need to see more, and so you know us. The plus industry is now like really pushing for that because we know the struggle. We've been there already. So it's like how can we now help the big and tall community get to where we are now?
Speaker 1:I Always say that there's a mall here. That's where I would regularly shop. There's 150 stores to buy clothes. Two of them have stuff for me, even though people of size make up 70% of the population, but there is zero for men of size like nothing. They've nothing, that's true.
Speaker 2:It's so pitiful. That is very true when I think about the more closest to me. They haven't de-exiled there recently over the last few years, though but other than that, you know, there's stores in here where you can find maybe a couple of handpans, so maybe a couple of showers, but Other than that, no, yeah, it's too bad.
Speaker 1:So I want to know more about what happens the night of the awards that you're when you give out the words. It's like a party feeling, it's like a Academy Awards kind of feeling, is it? There's our music, like what else is going on?
Speaker 2:So, oh my god, that makes me excited to answer that question, because the day of the award show issues is so much excitement. It is it's like being at the, the Grammys, and that's what people describe it, as I love to hear that they feel like they are at the Oscars or at the Grammys, because we have that whole red carpet experience where People come in and they're interviewed on red carpets. You know we have photographers taking pictures, specifically that first hour of our VIP hour where she's for our Honoraries, our nominees and sponsors and special guests, so that's invite only and that's where we have our reception and the red carpet and stuff was going on, which is amazing. And then the you know everybody's in the auditorium and seated and Look at amazing and then we start giving out these awards and you know the speeches is always what gets me and you know I'm now doing fireside chats with a lot of our, our nominees for this year and you know that's one of the things that people talk about most the night of is the speeches and how heartfelt and moving they are. So many people was just in there crying, just listening to the speeches. It's, it's amazing, it's I don't know it's. It's probably one of the best feelings that my first year, when it was all, when I tell you, when it was time to say goodnight and I was on stage and it ended when I tell you I cried like a baby. I cried like a baby. So everybody got to see my other private night because it's so good. I'm just glad nobody got it on video.
Speaker 1:You have it. You had a baby and right, it's all that letdown and from all the anxiety, all the endorphins trying to get it all together, then it's like you're so proud of everybody. It's like, oh, simba, yeah and it was just over.
Speaker 2:And you know, one of the biggest fears as a Producer is that nobody's gonna show up to your bit. Right, that was one of my fears too. It's like, oh my god, are people gonna show up, even though you know we had a sold-out show. In every year that we've had the show, we've had a sold-out show, but still it was seeing all the people in the room seated and just it was. It was overwhelming, such a good feeling and every year so got the same feeling and I don't cry anymore, but it still feels good.
Speaker 1:Have you? Have you stuck with the same sort of trophy? Look, every year, is it? It's always the same.
Speaker 2:Yes, our trophy stays the same every year, and that's one of the things I wanted. Just you know, the consistency of the trophy. This is our trophy, so he's right here, so when I'm doing my videos. Well, you can't see it now, but it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:We look lovely in my office.
Speaker 2:You know, no, no pressure.
Speaker 3:Say don't make her be the bad guy. We just talked about that.
Speaker 2:Right, I see a space right there on your desk.
Speaker 1:Exactly, it's gorgeous. Is it crystal?
Speaker 2:It is, it's beautiful it is, and I actually have another one right here too.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, yeah, People will be able to see it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that gold one is the one that I won from Full Figure Fashion Week in 2018 for Magazine of the Year. That was amazing. Did Full Figure Fashion Week happen this year? So Gwen retired Full Figure Fashion Week because she is this big time superstar now. You know it was. It was her time to work on herself. So you know she's just on the big screens and you know modeling she's doing her. So I'm not mad at it, I'm mad. Full Figure Fashion Week is a tire and every time I talk to her I'm like so have you thought about it? No, she's focused on Silver Fox Different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's quite, quite amazing. I went to Soul Figure Fashion Week once when I had my boutique and that's where I got to meet Marcy in person and Marie in person. And then what's the other lady that works with Marcy so often? And I met Alexandra. I met so many people at Full Figure Fashion Week but since then it seems like people who are in the fat world have all these different events now, like fat camps, fat day camps, you know, fat hikes, fat swimming events. It's like the amount of events where people's size is amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, no matter where you look, you find someplace where you feel like you belong and I think that's what you know we try to do for each other. You know, going to I don't go to the pool, I'm not a pool girl, but I have been to pools, I've been to beaches and you know that feeling you get when you feel like people are just looking at you like why did she wear that? You know you go to events where everybody looks like you and nobody's judging anybody and that's where I feel like I belong. It's so freeing.
Speaker 3:It's different when you're able to be around people that you know have shared experiences.
Speaker 2:Yep, they know my story, I know their story. It's like so we can coexist, and without the judgment or anything. And you know, for people we let me stop saying people, but us when we see each other and we're just like, yes, girl, you look amazing. It's like you know it comes from a place of love and not, you know. There's not some undermining tone there.
Speaker 1:Whenever I run into a fat person in the wild, I'm like I just want to be like hey, I see you, you know. But I don't know if they're going to think I'm weird and I'm like oh, look how stylish you are. I love your outfit.
Speaker 2:Oh, especially when people are like really put together. I do it all the time, all the time If I'm driving and I'm at a light and I see you know somebody, girl, you look amazing in that dress and you know, and it makes us feel good that we see each other, you know, yes, so awesome Communities.
Speaker 1:We talk about that a lot on the show. Community is so important.
Speaker 3:It is extremely Speaking of community. Have you heard about Fat Con?
Speaker 2:I have, so it's coming up. Or did it pass, because I remember talking to Aya about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's coming up. It's going to be in January of next year. Yeah, sweet, but we've been hearing about it. We just interviewed Pucks, who is one of the co-founders of it, and yeah, just exciting and hearing you know that there's going to be a convention where safe space where a lot of fatties can get together and, you know, just talk and be. You know, share and learn and buy stuff. You know it's just going to be. I love it. It's. Yeah, it's like okay, this is we're moving in the right direction here.
Speaker 1:To what you should think about applying to be a speaker.
Speaker 2:Oh Now, yeah, no, no, here's the thing, yeah, yeah. So I think, mark, you said that you've heard me do the lives and stuff. Yeah, I'm so shy you wouldn't get that from it, I know, I know. And this because I know like once I'm in the, in that situation where I know that everybody's going to be looking at me, like you have to turn the shyness off, like you don't want people to remember, look at, keep rewinding and looking at this, this video or this episode or whatever, and say, oh my gosh, she's just so shy, you know. So I have to kind of turn it off. But right before I I'm telling you I be sweating, oh God, I hope I don't mess up. And then afterwards, when it's over, I'm like, phew, glad that's over. But I have done some speaking engagements and I'm starting to get more comfortable with it. But you know, it's still frightening for me.
Speaker 3:And totally understandable. I mean any kind of con or large event where you've got to speak in front of people. It's it's different than being on a podcast or on Instagram live. It's like, oh there, there aren't eyes staring back at me, yeah, which can be a really big deterrent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you just have such a great story and I think that people would be very they would love to hear how you got to where you are and how it came about. You know the magazine in 2011, to here we are in 2023. The FAIAs and the magazine are still going strong, which is pretty impressive, because it's not easy, especially through a fricking pandemic.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, and even though you know my VP tells me all the time he's like so you built the company right, we do everything that you say. It's like why can't you talk about it? Because everybody's looking at me. The first time I had to do an on camera interview I did it for Avenue some years ago and they sent a crew to my house with cameras to do this and to view. I was like, oh yeah, I'm ready. As soon as you put that camera in my face, I was like oh, what's my name Right? It's like oh my God.
Speaker 1:Been there, done that. I love it. Yeah, it's different. It's just right there in your face. The first time for me, I was like can't you put the camera at a different angle, because they're shooting from up. I'm like, is this going to be? I'm going to look at a job on the hunt. I'm like, you know, put the camera higher. They're like, and they're like this close to my face. I'm like you guys are going to see my nose hairs. You're going to see my oh, they didn't care, they not care at all. I was like never mind. Now I tell myself it's not how I look, it's about the message. So just don't worry about it, Crystal. It's about the message.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, but that was pretty frightening for me. I was like, oh my God, I'm not going to be able to do this. It was like a right cut, but I finally got to do it.
Speaker 3:It's like when somebody goes in for an interview, like the panel knows that you're nervous, they know that you're going to flub and you know have some issue it's, but for you it feels like there's the spotlight on me and everybody's watching and I'm going to fail epically. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know, hypocritically I do when I, when I have to interview people, I tell them oh, it's okay, don't worry about it, don't be shy, we're just going to talk like two girlfriends or you know, like we homegirl, homeboy, and like it's like, why are you telling people? I try, but then I laugh at myself because I'm like, yeah, somebody has that to give me that story too.
Speaker 3:Yep, we're all a part of it. It happens. I think we wouldn't be human if we didn't have that experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is the human condition, for sure, wonderful.
Speaker 3:I need a buildup. Whenever that happens, right Like it's like I can't be shoved right into it and I'm like, okay, let me sit there and answer a few things and feel like I got my footing underneath me, and then okay, let's go yeah, like give me a minute, yeah, but you know it's fun.
Speaker 2:It's all fun in the end, as long as you're doing it with somebody who knows what they're doing and not really looking to you to just like hold the whole thing like this, right here it's. I feel like I'm just chatting, we're just on the phone, just chatting, or Zoom just chatting, and that's what you want your interviews to feel like it does.
Speaker 3:It removes the self-consciousness and it becomes more authentic because it's just a conversation, exactly. And so it's all the extra that you know your brain wants to put on there as like, oh, and they're doing this and they're watching you and they're looking and it's like, no, there's no judgment, we're just having a conversation. But you've got to ease into that. It's like nobody wants to be shoved into the deep end of the pool. They want to walk into the pool.
Speaker 2:Right, right, let me take my time. Yeah, what I like doing? I like doing interviews, it's. I love getting to know people, not so much interviewing me, but this is the hypocritical side of me I'm usually the one that's interviewing other people, like the last interview I did, I won the girl. I was like, listen, I might take over your interview and if I start to do that, just dial me back, totally, totally relate to that one, Like oh, she's talking about me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's unavoidable, though. I think it's just one of those things you know Well. I mean, I can keep you here all night and ask you a million questions, but you're three hours ahead of us in New York time and I'm sure that you're like let's go. I got to get back to my day job. I have a feeling this won't be the last time that we have a conversation about the full figure industry awards or your magazine or your soap making. I have a feeling you'll be back on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I appreciate it. I felt like I was just part of the podcast, like who we interviewing, that's exactly what we want you to feel like Ashley was saying what kind of questions would you ask us, murph and me, if you were interviewing us?
Speaker 1:It's a good question, I know. Ok, I know we're going to wrap this up soon. I just just want to make sure I mentioned that too.
Speaker 2:Oh, that was, that was my warning for like, don't don't go too far into this right. So for me I would probably ask you, like you know, what do you do other than? Why did you start the podcast? You know what do you do outside of podcast and who are you outside of?
Speaker 3:podcasting. It's a really good question, deep question. So I'm a licensed marriage family therapist and I oversee a behavioral health program for a health care entity that spans four counties. So my day job is quite stressful and busy but I love it and I get to serve my community in ways that my community and other multiple other communities in a way that you know I've always wanted to. I've always wanted to have an impact in mental health and substance use treatment and having a full staff to be able to provide that level of care to patients and get them in for services and hopefully get them back to feeling well as quickly as possible is just super fulfilling and that's my day job. But I like to paint, like you said, getting mixing color and just kind of getting to do other little doodly things. Like I'm not a creative person, I'm a very like by the structure of whatever it is. You tell me step one, step two, you know. So it's the only time I feel like I get to, you know, kind of think outside of the box and just do weird stuff, is when I'm painting. So that's my go to. And I'm a cat mom. I've got four cats and a lot of time with cats.
Speaker 2:So we and I can go deeper into. I'm not going to because you know, the follow up question is usually for me because I like to get to know people and I feel like for most people who are in Korea's long term, it's personal connections to those things. Right, for me I work in healthcare Like there's a personal connection to me and why I work where I work. So that would have been my follow up question, but no questions. Yes, because I told you I would take over the interview question. I don't know why you asked. It's funny.
Speaker 3:I struggle with my own mental health issues. I have obsessive compulsive disorder, I'm recovered eating disorders, anorexia, so it's always just been something very prevalent in my life. I have a lot of family members that have mental health disorders, whether or not they agree with that, but you know, like it's always been a present issue. And so when I started to think about becoming a sex therapist because that's what initially I wanted to do becoming a marriage family therapist really just kind of filled that niche and I was like you know, I don't have to go into this other realm and have this other internship and all these other things, like I can still have the sex interest, you know, and help people with their relationships but also just deal with mental health disorders.
Speaker 2:Wow, I love that. Alright, crystal, you're up next.
Speaker 1:First and foremost fat person, fat liberationist, fat activist, and I just love my fat community. My day job I do electrolysis, so permanent hair removal, and mostly women, like you said. Very personal, developing a lot of relationships. You know I see six to eight people a day and I have lots of amazing clients and some of my clients are in the process of transitioning genders, so I get it's a very big privilege for me to be a part of their process. I get to get to help out. Also, you know it's a lot of talking. Sometimes I feel like a therapist People, even my therapist. It used to be my therapist who now comes to me. When she leaves she says thanks for the hour therapy. Crystal, I go, I under build you.
Speaker 2:I should add another $150 to that hour.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it's. You know, it's therapy for me too Because, like Murph said, I also have some you know depression and anxiety issues and a lot of experience around addiction and recovery. I'm not personally an addict or in recovery, but I know a million people who are and a lot of my family and friends are. So, for whatever reason that comes up, a lot people just tell me everything. You know, I have cash register ladies telling me that they poop their pants. You know. people just tell me everything, and so I don't know what it is about my face with people who, like they, can tell me everything which they can. I've been in the business of selling sex toys since 2003,. So 20 years. So a lot of talking about sex and recovery, and drugs and alcohol. I just, I don't know. It's just how it happens for me, but I wouldn't change a thing.
Speaker 2:I love that for you. I love that and I love getting to know you all personally. I connect with people on personal levels, which is why I tend to just go a lot deeper than the surface, like who you are and what you do Okay, that's cool, but no, really, who are you, you know? So, for me, I form personal connections with people and I just literally had this conversation earlier today with Tamara and we were talking about brands and I was like you know, for me, I don't shop for this brand, I don't shop that brand, and for me, it's because I don't have a personal connection, I don't connect to your brand. So that's why I don't shop your brand. So for me, I have to have, there has to be a connection there for me to continuously come back and support your brand. So, with that being said, I will continuously come back and listen to you all.
Speaker 3:Well, it speaks to your HR background. I mean being in human resources. You have to be an advocate for the people that you serve, that you work with, and so then you have to know, like the next level, and what it is they're experiencing and what's. You know their story because you're their advocate and making sure that they're able to do their job. So that totally fits with your personality. I love it.
Speaker 2:And interestingly enough, I've. So I've been. I've been working in healthcare for well over 20 years right, I know, I only look like 20 something. So I came out of the womb working in healthcare. When I was born they gave me my ID, but no, seriously, I only just started working in healthcare two years ago, so it was a position that kind of fell in my lap. I've always worked in the medicine department all those years, and then transitioning into HR was not something that I knew that I needed. But once I got in I realized how much I needed. I realized how much my personality fit that role. So it was just what I didn't know I needed.
Speaker 3:I love that kind of story where it's just like ding, all the stars align, everything works out. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's great.
Speaker 1:Yep Gold torn. It's been so much fun talking with you. We love learning about you and learning about the awards and we are beyond excited and honored to be nominated and amazing group of podcasters Like wow, I love all of those podcasts and so it'll be. Whoever wins is going to be an amazing podcaster, but on our show we usually end by asking our interviewee what is your favorite romance toy, what's your favorite sex toy? And I should have warned you. I'm sorry I forgot to warn you, but we asked this question a lot. But do you have a favorite?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, oh, okay, it's my glasses, right? Yeah, this is where people are really going to start to look at me differently, but I think it would probably be now I don't know like the actual names of these things, honey I just look at one and be like, oh, that's cute, let me try that. Probably it will be like the bullet. Honestly, true transparency. I'm never sure this started with anybody, but my very first organism came from that and I've been looking for the organism ever since.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you you're a really good company, because that happens to a lot of people and I tell people, this $13 vibrator will change your whole life. Yes, so for some people it's their first organism. For some people, it's how to figure out how to continuously have an organism, how to have an organism with a partner, how to have an organism with penetration. I mean the bullet to me, and almost every toy starts with a bullet and they build around it, so it's just the perfect toy.
Speaker 2:Yes, yep, that would probably be my favorite.
Speaker 1:That's fantastic, wonderful. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Yes, Sure, now I need nobody in my DM. Okay, yes, you're a free one. Who is my favorite color?
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, tawhanna. We're really excited to get to know you better and really excited. Thank you for the time and I know you stayed up really late for us. I appreciate that. I just want to say to our listeners make sure you go to bigsexychapcom, make sure you get on our newsletter list, because that's where you're going to learn about our giveaways and our events coming up and our podcasts that we just dropped. So bigsexychapcom is where you can sign up for our newsletter. I send to you a month. What else? Murph?
Speaker 3:We have. We have left Twitter and we are now on threads, so we're at bigsexychap on all of the platforms except for Twitter, because Elon can suck it. Yes, he can, agreed, and you can email us at sexy at bigsexychapcom if you have questions and or if you want to share stories or need life advice or I don't know whatever. That's where you can send us a message and we will include all of Tawhanna's information so that you can connect with her. But do you want to shout out, like any specific sites that people can find you or that you want them to know about right now?
Speaker 2:Sure, so the date for the full figure industry awards this year is November 4th. Our website is thefirescom T-H-E-F-F-I-A-Scom. All of the links to our social media platforms is there, but pretty much the full figure industry awards across the board. And I do want to say something to y'all. I hope that you ladies are coming to the show on November 4th. I want to see y'all there and I do want y'all to do a ticket giveaway for your listeners for the show. Okay, sure. However, y'all want to do it, just get back to me and, as a matter of fact, nobody likes to go to a show by themselves. They can bring a guest, okay, oh cool.
Speaker 1:Wonderful. Thank you, tawhanna. Absolutely Well. Thanks everybody. Thanks to our community. We're always so grateful for all of your listeners, all of your reviews on anywhere social media, on Apple, wherever you listen to your podcast. They're super helpful and I'm just going to sign off by saying see you later, alligator.
Speaker 3:After a while, crocodile.
Speaker 2:See you later, butterfly.
Speaker 3:So where can you find your favorite fatties? You can find us at bigsexychatcom on all the social medias at bigsexychatcom, on Twitter, bigsexychatpod and Crystal. How can they reach us?
Speaker 1:Oh, merck, the best way to reach us is by email, which is sexy at bigsexychatcom, and remember to like, subscribe and share, please.
