Transcript
WEBVTT
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Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat.
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I'm Crystal, I'm Murph.
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We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat.
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Twice a month.
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We'll be chatting about current events, hot topics, sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community, cannabis, cbd, you name it.
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We're going to talk about it.
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We are very excited to have you a part of our community.
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Welcome and enjoy.
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Hey there, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat.
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My name is Crystal and I'm here with my beautiful co-host, murph.
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Hi, murph, hi, welcome back to everybody.
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We're so excited about today's episode.
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We're going to do a year in review, just like you've seen People Magazine every year, right, or Time Magazine a year in review.
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So we're going to review some of our famous and favorite episodes of our podcast from 2024.
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And we're going to talk about some really exciting, cool things that were happening in the phatosphere in 2024.
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So, murph, do you want to get us started?
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Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about the episodes that we recorded this year.
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Sure, you know, I think we started the year off really strong when we got those vibrators from WeVibe and Womanizer, because I think of how much that Womanizer Premium 2 duo has changed my life, and that was the start of January, january, like we.
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We jumped into it, we did fat con, we got back, we had that episode and ever since, like man, oh man, all I can say is like womanizer.
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Please, please, please, please, please, make the longer handle, because, oh my gosh, like talk about epic life changing.
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Well, the good news isph, that Kim Card has sent us some more goodies and they just arrived here today and I'm going to ship them off to you in Ashley tomorrow and you're going to have some more goodies that should rock your 2025.
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They look really amazing and they have a new cream that Kim says feels like little champagne bubbles on your clitoris.
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So, hello, oh my goodness, I know.
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So we get 2025 started off, right, right, and now I'm looking forward to ringing in the new year.
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Yeah, just as long as we can get to the January 20th, yes, yes, but yeah, that was a great episode.
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It wasn't really, you're right, it was really.
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For me, it was also very epic and, um, I just I love their products.
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They make such great products and they're such good quality and they last forever and they're they're made with body safe materials all the things that a girl could ask for.
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Right, and great customer service.
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One of my friends was telling me that, um, they purchased one.
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I don't, it wasn't the womanizer, it was some other thingVibe.
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And she wrote them and was like I really don't, I'm not enjoying this toy.
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And they were like, keep it, here's your full refund.
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And I was just like what?
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Wow, yeah, I've heard nothing but those kinds of stories of like good customer service, spotlight to WeVibe and Womanizer because, yeah, they make some fantastic quality stuff.
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It's the biggest bummer when you spend 200 dollars on a sex store.
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I know you know this mirth and that you're disappointed by it.
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You're like god dang it, wish I could just try these first.
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Right, exactly.
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And there's just, it's not the same.
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When you're standing at the store and it's vibrating in your hand, it's just not the same.
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No, I know, I agree, we jumped into uh dating, into dating with Victoria Nachos and learned a lot about that culture right now, and that's not something you and I really experience.
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And so, learning about the dating apps and what happens in that realm, it just seems so different from when I experienced dating a long time ago, was?
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It was a good conversation.
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I like her motto if you're not gonna lick my pussy, bye, right, it's me first.
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That's what my rule anyway is me than you and me again, but I think she's got.
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She's got because you know, I mean, I know, as a heterosexual woman mostly, you know, I know, um, it's definitely, if I, if I counted the score, it would be like 1 million to 500.
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As far as giving oral sex and receiving it, um, yeah, I mean, we all know it's rare, especially if you're on a date and you're not, like in a committed relationship men, as in general, they don't, they don't do that on the first date, but they want us to, of course.
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Well, yeah, the deficit there is one million to 500.
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Is that right?
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Really, yeah.
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And then, speaking of other things that women have to endure, we talked about perimenopause and menopause with carolyn wadkins.
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That was great.
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Yeah, that was.
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That was a very unifying conversation.
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Sure, yeah, I know you and I both have lots to say about this.
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We were just going off on menopause and perimenopause just now and all the brain fog and all that stuff that goes along with it.
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Nobody tells you about Right, and just the constant feeling of like am I going crazy?
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And I think about that little TikTok thing where it's like.
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Am I going crazy?
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Like I just, and I think about that, that little TikTok thing where it's like, am I the villain, you know?
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Like, because you get so irritated and all the symptoms and all the things, and it's like you're kind of like, am I gaslighting myself, like, does this really happen and exist?
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It was nice to have a conversation where that was normalized.
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Am I the asshole on Reddit?
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But, like, am I the asshole?
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Am I the menopause asshole?
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Because, boy, sometimes I could definitely be an asshole.
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I learned that for white women typically perimenopause lasts about five years.
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Hispanic women usually last about six and a half years and for black women it's about 10 years.
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And I, my paramen pause did last a lot longer than that.
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But I'm also special.
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I'm very uh, I'm high maintenance, I guess.
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I don't know, I'm a little bit of anomaly, I'm I'm overachiever, but um, I know it's really there's.
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I don't know what the difference is, why it's so much.
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I'm sure it's access to, you know, health, good health care, equitable health care, probably a big part of it.
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Um, that'd be my guess, don't you think something like that?
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Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure, and you know, just, environmental access, just, yeah, there's so many, I'm sure, really complex elements to it, but, yeah, that's wild.
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After my uh hysterectomy, which was kind of urgently created, I was on no hormones for four years and I just recently started the patch, the estrogen patch, estradiol.
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Yeah, so far it's pretty good, nice.
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It's not fixing my or helping my brain fog, that's why I wanted to start it, but, yeah, good times.
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Anyway, any other episodes that you were just like so crazy about this year, oh, my goodness.
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So we talked to the Fat and and fucked podcast with dr dr sexy fat and suzy hooker and we had them on just our most recent episode, the round table.
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Um, and that was a fun opportunity to be with other podcasters and talk and um.
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We talked about inclusive movement with wendy and her story of you know kind of of dealing with all the things that come with the exercise lifestyle and how it can really impact fat liberationists.
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So that was a really interesting conversation I felt.
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Murph, have you ever been exercising somewhere and somebody goes?
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You go, girl, good job.
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Yeah, so condescending, and I really think that they don't understand that.
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But yeah, so condescending, which was nice to hear, like the stuff that she does and the Zoom sessions that she has, so it's like I can get movement and I don't have to be in a gym, because anytime you're in a spectacle of space, it's like OK, here we go.
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Tigress was in Time magazine and we talked to her which was incredible and learned all about how she entered into that realm and the things that are starting to change and the publicity that NAFA is getting.
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That was really cool.
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Yeah, that's first on my list.
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For all the things that happened in the Thadosphere this year, to me the most meaningful one was Tigress in Time Magazine.
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There's a lot of really meaningful things, but first of all, tigress is a longtime friend of mine and so I'm just amazed by her all the time and I'm very proud of her.
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But I'm also very hopeful about the work that they do and I'm also grateful for all the work that NAFA does and Tigress is just an amazing ambassador for all of that.
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She's an entire magazine Holy shit, right, fat activist.
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It's incredible In a space talking about health like that opened so many doors, like it's just.
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It's really awe-inspiring.
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Yeah, fat people can be healthy and lots of thin people are unhealthy, y'all Right, I hope I'm not telling you anything new, because you should know that if you're fat, but also if you're not fat, you should know that, especially if you're not fat, because don't just look at me and assume that I have whatever you think I have.
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You don't know, so don't make an assumption, and I don't make an assumption about you, but I do notice that think you've are allowed to just eat whatever they want in public, on public spaces, on social media, and smoke all they want in public spaces, and nobody seems to mind.
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But we don't know if they're healthy or not healthy.
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These are air quotes around the word healthy.
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What does that even mean?
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Exactly, people that you know have that mentality.
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You, exactly People that you know have that mentality.
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You get somebody in a space that says something totally different from that and has all the things to back it up.
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Which Tigress does you got a whole different scenario playing out.
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100%.
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I, if you're gonna go and you know, want to know something interesting about squirting in general.
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Oh, my goodness, she has just got the best stories.
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Yeah, female ejaculation is really um, it's still a taboo topic.
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I guess some people just aren't comfortable talking about it.
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But you know, kim, like me, I'm just like whatever it's humans.
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If you're, as long as you're leaving kids and animals out of I don't care what you do.
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I really don't, as long as everybody has consent.
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But Kim's just like that too.
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She's just like here's how it works, here's how it works for me, here's what I've done, how I've done it and here's how you might also accomplish.
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That's amazing.
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I love her clit and all the things around it and all the elements to how we you know how we interact with the world at large when it comes to the clitoris.
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So that was cool, asher Lee and I cause you had your surgery this year.
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Asher Lee and I talked about polyamory, which was really interesting, um, and you know, got to hear her perspective on things and some of the rules and the vocabulary that comes with that.
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And Another episode that Asherlee participated in when you were out was she brought her doctor, dr Robert.
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That was a really interesting element, I think.
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To have a medical doctor talking about anti-fatness and how they address it and what they experience and getting that validation was really nice, was really nice.
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Having a doctor on our side is wow.
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It's very meaningful and it's like the work that Reagan does, right?
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Reagan Chastain, she's out there at UC Irvine, all kinds of different places in medical schools talking about medical anti-fatness, and same with Ashley's doctor.
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That was a great episode and I'm so grateful for all the work that he's doing.
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And you know they're both educating other people in the world of Times.
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Yesterday that said, approximately 30% of Americans are practicing some version of polyamory.
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Oh, interesting, yeah, it's very interesting.
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Yeah, I know that we live in California so we probably see that a lot more than most people, right, but it's really common here, really really common, and people can make it define it any way they want to.
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Right, it's very malleable and it can change constantly.
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People are doing all kinds.
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There's no more or very little of just male, female, just the to be monogamous.
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But and we've kind of forced ourselves into do that with religion and all that but very interesting, given the cost of living and everything.
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Now, like people are recognizing like I can't, we can't do this as two people, this costs too much.
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Like we need other people in our lives that like are going to help raise our kids and it takes a village.
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And, like you know, we're kind of starting to recognize that the environment we've created really does mean that you should have multiple partners to be able to survive in it.
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It's kind of like I'm going to create my own little community and you know we're all going to take care of each other.
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And I love makes sense to me, like big love on hbo when he built that compound for all of his wives and him yeah, loved it.
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Yeah.
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If it wasn't just about him, yeah, definitely.
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I know it was just a really good show, though it was great.
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Yeah, and I love him so much.
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I'm so sorry he's gone.
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I know, yeah, polyamory is very and enm is very common people.
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I think the more people that learn about it, the more people want to try it.
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And also, when all these mores and these like rules around our marriages and stuff were created by these people that are Christian.
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We didn't live to be 100 back then, so life's a lot different now.
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People live to be in their 90s.
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How are you supposed to have the same partner for, I don't know, 70 years?
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That seems wild to me, right?
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If you're not like growing and changing together and adding other elements, it's really really rough, yeah, and boring, yeah.
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Well, that's tedious.
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Let's just say tedious.
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I mean, exactly what I've noticed in my all my years is that what people couples, whatever their genders are you start to learn each other's buttons, so to speak, and then you kind of get into this routine Like I do A, b, c, d and I know that's always going to make him or her finish.
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But then that gets like, okay, cool, it all works, it works, it works.
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But then it gets kind of dull and it's hard to shake.
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Get yourself out of your little, whatever your little rules are, whatever your little routine is, and it's really hard to get people out of their routines or whatever your little routine is, and it's really hard to get people out of their routines.
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And that's what happens when you have a new person is can bring some new routines and bring some freshness and bring some excitement to the table, absolutely, yeah.
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And speaking of newness and excitement to the table, we talked about Shabari, rope bondage with Beck.
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Yeah, with Beck.
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They're great, yeah, lots of really cool, interesting, really technical information from them.
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It was an exciting episode.
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Yeah, that was really great, great, I love it.
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I love their Instagram.
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It's amazing, yeah.
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And a lot of the great examples of fat bodies being tied up in shawari.
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It's incredible.
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What's it called when they're hanging?
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I always forget this word suspension.
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Suspension, amazing, right, yeah, oh yeah, it just looks incredible.
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It really just it's such a beautiful, artistic but very like sexually arousing experience.
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We bought some stuff to try out.
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I'm excited to give it a go.
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I always assumed that suspension was not for fat bodies, because I think I mentioned this in the episode.
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When I think of one or two ropes digging into my fat, I think that my weight and gravity is going to make that hurt really bad.
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But Beck was saying that they distribute the weight by making the ties wider, so instead of having two ropes, you might have 10 ropes and that kind of distributes the way that the gravity is pulling you down.
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It hurts less or maybe not at all.
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Yeah, yeah, I've been talking to a friend who is really into BDSM and hearing about some of the ways that they use furniture and things like that.
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It's specifically meant to like alleviate the pain that you'd have in your lower back or do these types of things.
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So it's nice to see that there are so many accommodations for fat bodies to explore really new, unique aspects of, you know, sexual health and adventure.
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But we don't talk about those things.
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So, like, getting more information about this is really helpful.
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And I want to add this and I've tried, I've added this a few times to our different episodes, but the kink community can be very body accepting and when I had my boutique and I had clients come in, you know, who were nervous about buying lingerie or whatever and they wanted to date, but they didn't know where to date.
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And I would say, if you have any interest at all in that little bit of kink, maybe, just, you know, dip your toes in the water, because kinky people are into people who are also into their kink.
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They don't really, they're not so focused on you need to be size 12 or whatever.
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You need to lose 10 more pounds.
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They're just like, oh, you're into the same kink, you into foot fetishes, so am I?
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I'm into leather, you, so you, that's all they care about.
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Yeah, no, not 100, but let's say like 95.
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Yeah, a large portion, because it's about the act of whatever it is.
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It's not about like, oh, you need to, you know, meet some sort of ideal before I'm really into whatever it is.
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Yeah, precisely.
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And the kink community is open to nerds and to people that are neurodivergent and eccentric and all those things that make up wonderful humans, and they're also very accepting of the way you express your sexuality or your gender.
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It's just a cool community and it's really good.
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If you're nervous about it and you're a fat person, it's an interesting community to get involved in.
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But I just want to warn people too.
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There's a lot of fakes in the kink world Like I'm a dom, these men oftentimes who say they're doms but they're really not.
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So make sure you learn more about what that means to be a dom.
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Like for the dom, submissive has all the power, not the dom, it's just a power play.
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You know they're playing, I'm in charge, but they're really not.
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But if they think they are, that's probably not the right dom for you.
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So just a little bit of warning, because it can be a little bit.
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You know, can be sometimes problematic, sadly, like most groups of people, but it's a really cool place for fat people to get a little taste of some fun, absolutely.
00:18:33.037 --> 00:18:36.207
Yeah, a little sidebar conversation.
00:18:36.299 --> 00:18:47.279
We went to a dungeon and saw like for the first time, all this stuff right, and it's a very controlled environment, very specific to hygiene and all the things.
00:18:47.279 --> 00:19:01.948
And I was talking about being in one of the saddles saddles where you like lean forward and you're like on all fours and that sort of thing and um, I was like, oh, wow, this one's really comfortable, because I was just like laying on it.
00:19:01.948 --> 00:19:02.250
I wasn't.
00:19:02.250 --> 00:19:34.807
You know, we were just looking at the dungeon, we were actually playing um, and they you know the guy who was running it said oh yeah, we make this specifically so that it's comfortable for larger bodies and that you can sit there for a while and feel comfortable while you're absorbing you know the hits that come from whatever and the spanking or those types of things and it's just like, wow, ok, like you've intentionally created an accommodation for my style of body, and like that tells me everything I need to know about kink.
00:19:34.807 --> 00:19:37.265
Hello, wow, bless them.
00:19:37.664 --> 00:19:39.088
Was that dungeon up in the Bay Area?
00:19:39.088 --> 00:19:39.369
Somewhere?
00:19:39.369 --> 00:19:45.961
It was in Sacramento, okay, cool, yeah, I'm telling you it's a very fat, friendly, very just everybody friendly community.
00:19:45.961 --> 00:19:49.655
So I always check to give them their props because it's pretty awesome.
00:19:49.655 --> 00:19:50.599
Yeah, absolutely.
00:19:50.599 --> 00:20:04.133
And also, if you're in the same relationship with the same person for 70 years, like we were talking about, it would be a good idea to just try some new stuff, because, whoa, yeah, and they're really, from what I've seen, um, very accommodating to newbies.
00:20:04.133 --> 00:20:05.923
You know like, oh, you want to learn about this.
00:20:05.923 --> 00:20:18.712
Like sure, let's teach you, you know and and here are the ways and here's some other alternatives, and and so, yeah, it definitely seems like a much more open, sexually and also accepting group.
00:20:19.034 --> 00:20:33.788
We talked to Reagan about how to handle yourself in an exam room with medical professionals, which you know, kind of went in tandem with that Dr Robert conversation, but very specific, on like, okay, they've told you you have a sinus infection and they prescribe weight loss.
00:20:33.788 --> 00:20:34.761
How do you handle that?
00:20:34.761 --> 00:20:37.471
You know, how do you state what you need to state to them?
00:20:37.471 --> 00:20:42.365
The clues and the tips that she gave are so helpful.
00:20:42.365 --> 00:20:55.906
So you know, if you are experiencing those issues, go back and listen to that episode and if you're an ally, go listen to that episode because you could help your fat friends that have to experience and endure this on a regular basis.
00:20:55.906 --> 00:21:00.542
I don't know a single fat person who hasn't had a traumatic experience with a doctor.
00:21:00.542 --> 00:21:02.306
Sadly, it's true.
00:21:02.707 --> 00:21:06.101
But yeah, thin friends, please could you watch out for us too?
00:21:06.101 --> 00:21:10.820
I think, specifically on that episode, we were talking about them looking out for us at holiday parties.
00:21:10.820 --> 00:21:20.244
If you see some bullshit going down, could you speak up please, because if we're the one that they're putting down, it's hard for us to jump in there and it's better if somebody else is on the outside going.
00:21:20.244 --> 00:21:21.730
Hey, that's bullshit, don't say that.
00:21:21.730 --> 00:21:29.202
Don't say that about my friend or my loved one, and pay attention if there's chairs for us to sit in, and if there's not, then maybe you go ask the hostess or host.
00:21:29.202 --> 00:21:32.685
Could you please find a chair without arms or whatever the person needs it's.
00:21:32.685 --> 00:21:42.896
I know it sounds stupid, but people trust thin people more than they trust fat people for some bullshit reason.
00:21:42.896 --> 00:21:43.981
But it's just the.
00:21:43.981 --> 00:21:45.145
It's just the truth right now.
00:21:45.145 --> 00:21:47.432
And, um, it's nice that someone else can jump in for us.
00:21:47.432 --> 00:21:49.208
It's not always us just trying to defend ourselves.
