Sex Furniture For Fat Babes & Fat Babe Armor

Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Chrystal I'm Merf we're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing in the fat twice a month. We'll be chatting all about current events, hot topics, sex, sex toys, relationships, fat politics, cannabis CBD, you name it. We're gonna talk about we're really excited to have you part of our community.

Welcome and enjoy attention. Please be advised that this episode contains a discussion regarding consensual non-consent, which may be sensitive to some listeners.

Hi there. Hey Merf. Welcome to big, sexy chat. So happy to be back. We were a little bit out of pocket a couple weeks ago because I got pneumonia. Weird. I know no, COVID no flu pneumonia. So I'm gonna apologize front to all of our listeners who are back to listen to more episodes into our new listeners.

You might hear a little bit of wheeziness from me and I apologize ahead of time. It's like the little the little guy that goes the squeaker guy. Yes. . We're just gonna call you squeakers. Oh yes. I'm squeaky. I'm like a minion. I can only make one sound anyway. Welcome to big sexy chat. This is something, a passion project of Merf and mine.

Merf is my co-host and we are talking about all things fat. We typically start each episode with some current events. Then we talk about our topic. This episode is gonna be all about fat babe armor. The armor that we put on before we leave the house, then we have a question from a listener, which is really interesting.

And then of course at the end, we always do our vibe of the week. And we're gonna talk about sex furniture for fat babes. So stay tuned for that. And at the very end, we're gonna tell you about a drawing that we have for some sex furniture giveaways. So MERF current events. What shall we talk about? I mean, there's like nothing in the news these days at all.

Oh, geez. Chrystal. I mean, I had to go searching for a topic today.  right. I know when I was sick with pneumonia, I was kinda like just sleeping for like a week. And I, I need to ask my boyfriend, what did I eat last week, cheer?   I was like, am I having a fever dream? Like, is this for real?

Like, it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse, worse. And there's more to come like, oh, just hearing what's on the docket. And then what they're already thinking about, if you don't know what we're talking about or say, you're listening to this three years from now, we're talking about the Supreme court and their decision to overturn Roe versus Wade.

I just can't believe that I, you like saying it. I know. I know. I think they just want us to be pregnant and barefoot again, you know, no rights. Yeah, absolutely. Total control. Are we still allowed to drive a car marsh? I'm not. I, I don't know. I have asked my husband  yes. Get his permission, please. If I, if I can't use my credit cards anymore, does that mean the debt is forgiven?

I believe so. I, I think you have to at least put them under your husband's name. Yeah, there we go. Okay, cool.  I hate to laugh, but you have to laugh or you would just cry. Yeah. It's fucking insane. It feels like the end of the world. Yeah. I mean, it just feels like all of it, all the progress that we've made has just been stripped.

I know, you know, a lot more about this, cuz this is your world with therapy kinds of things that you have to deal with. I know four people that have decided to have themselves put into a mental health facility just in the last like two months. I've I've never known anybody to, to go ahead and just check themselves in, like, this is the world is coming in and coming down on us.

For some people it's really it's dark for all of us, but for some people that are having a harder time handling it. Absolutely. It's very scary. I think so many people right now are relying on really bad coping skills because we're just trying to survive it. It feels like there's very little hope. And what hope is available is I still need something to take the edge off of it because it just doesn't, it's not providing the relief.

I need you feel like people are abusing alcohol and drugs and things like that. Absolutely sex fleeing into anything that makes them feel good. And some of the things that make us feel good for, you know, are not the best for us. And yeah. That means gambling. That means substance use all kinds of things.

It's just, it's a scary time. And. I'm really concerned about the future now. Yeah, me too. Yeah. I mean, I joke with certain people of like, there's it's the next step is what, like a civil war, you know, but I mean, I wonder  but it sure is hell feels like that's, what's brewing and that's terrifying. So Clarence Thomas he's married to a white woman, correct?

Yes. He is a very conservative Republican white woman. So is he going to help to reverse the Lovings act and so that you can't have interracial marriages anymore? Oh, absolutely not.  did not, not that one. Just all the others. No.  that one actually pertains to something in his life that would impact him.

Right. He doesn't give a shit about anybody else. I mean, Brett Kavanaugh is struggling with the fact that he's not even allowed the common decency of having some quiet at his home. Right. Sh shouldn't have had all those damn kids. I think you should have to hear the recording of the 10 year old girl who has to go to Indiana and get an abortion and have to hear the entire story over and over again on a loop every fucking day.

You piece of shit, right? Yeah. I know. No doubt. It's just so disgusting. It just, and don't, I don't think some people even have any idea it's not just abortion, right? It it's so many things, so many, it's just basically human rights, healthcare, healthcare. Yeah. So it's basic as it gets, like people wanna have IVF people wanna, you know, they like, I, I had a accidental pregnancy and then I had a, a miscarriage.

I had no idea knew this was going on. Then I was supposed to have a DNC, which is basically like an abortion. And if this would've happened, You know, this year in a different state, I'd be so screwed. Yeah. I, I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. It was like a called a Mo pregnancy, like a ectopic pregnancy.

Right. I'd be just fucking amazing to me. Yeah. I had a, I have a very close friend who had a baby die and it was, you know, she was in her third trimester and they were like, the only option is you have to have an abortion. Like, there's just, no, there's no other option unless you wanna carry around a dead baby.

And if you haven't heard Debbie Reynolds, talk about that, go watch that clip because that happened to her in the sixties and yeah. Wow. You know, that's some compelling stuff like people think, oh, who's gonna have a third trimester abortion just because like nobody's having a fucking abortion in the third trimester, unless something's dramatically.

Like right. You, this you've already had this idea of this baby in your home. You've have names. You have things you've bought for them. Nobody's going, oh, this is so fun. You know, never mind I changed my mind. I just wanna have an abortion real quick. It's not like that. Right? Why do they think it's like that?

They don't use some fucking logic. Yeah. I, I wish that was a possibility. The delusion is just so rampant. There's no logic happening. No, no. It's missing completely. One thing I do have some hope about is Kaji brown Jackson. She makes me very happy. I wish we could. I know, I wish some of the dinosaurs would just die and we could replace them with people who have a, a conception, a concept of what people actually want, because most people are cool with abortion.

Nobody's like, yay, abortion. But they're like, if you feel like you need it and it's part of your, your own body, you get to make the. Exactly. We need, we need more justices like TJI and like, justice Soyer mm-hmm  that have a clue what's going on in America. Right. And not just their heads up their butt at their stupid evangelical churches or whatever the hell they're doing.

It's so weird. Like when I see those women on TV that are so happy that this got repealed, I'm like, my mind is blown. I'm like, oh, those are those one women. Like, you know how the second time Trump ran and 10 million more white women voted for him. That's them. I'm like, how can you be? And these people are like, my contemporaries are younger, 30 years old.

And they're like, oh, thank God. A Roe V. Wade's been, I'm like, what happened to them? How did they get that way? They're just ignorant. Ah, it's ignorant. It's crazy. But yay. Kaji. Yes. Did you know she was a public defender? I did. That's so cool. Yeah. Not a badass. That's somebody who's seen front lines, you know, like she's seen it all.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's got a fantastic resume. That's the caliber of person. I mean, she's, I, I was looking, I think it was like USA today or something. They made like a diagram of like, how many people hit all these like major milestones. She's the only one out of everyone sitting on that court. I used to have so much just like complete respect, whatever this, the Supreme court said.

I was like, I'm on board now. I'm like, fuck you guys. It's all political now. It's not the same. No. I think if it was filled with people like, so Myer and Kaji, I think I could get back to that feeling again. Like I trust y'all you've done the research. You did all the, I trust you, but now I'm just like, eh, whatever.

Yeah. There's a bunch of bozos. Oh, I'm done with all of it. I'm done with constitution. I'm done with the Supreme court. Like I'm done start over, redo reboot. We need a new country. Thank goodness. We live in the country of California. Did some exactly.  the rest of the, just like, did somebody unplug the country, unplug it back in to see if that worked?

See, yeah. Let's reboot it. Yeah.  when I was like in my rage and my fever dreams, I ran across this company that brings they have a little van they made to like, be able to give medical and chemical abortions in their vans. Wow. And they drive to the border states like the border of Texas and stuff.

Yeah. Where the people are just whackadoo, you know, against abortion. They're gonna report you to their, to the local authority so they can collect their $10,000. They're just going to the I'm like, oh, I have to give these people some money. I don't have a lot of extra money right now, but I'm like a hundred bucks.

Fuck. Yeah. And they're just, they're doing it. Yep. That's awesome. Bless them. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody thought of that, you know, I'm like Jesus, but that's, that's some commitment, you know, that's absolutely. It is. It's, you know, the people that have the least are gonna be affected the most and that's, what's hope so heartbreaking.

Absolutely. Well, and, and that's why you see so many you know, young, white women that are doing this kind of shit. Cause they've never had to think about something like that. They've never experienced that. Yeah. And so they're just absolutely ignorant. Oh, that doesn't happen. Oh, that doesn't exist. Blah, blah, blah.

Right. Yeah. I once had, I once had a whole room filled of CPS workers, a judge and probation officers, and they said we don't have sex trafficking in this town. And I was like,  shut up. Like, I started laughing so hard, like. And I was in a professional meeting and I was just like, I did you just, are you kidding?

Was that a joke? And she was like, no, it's not a joke. And I was just like, yeah, you people exist. And you're in positions of power. Holy shit. I would say if you have a town that has more than like 50,000 people, maybe even less, there's, there's gonna be some sex trafficking going on. Probably every city and every town.

Absolutely.

What the hell? Duh stupid. And, and we live in a rural community. There's a lot of migrant families and, and people that come up here for farm work and cuz it's very heavy agriculture. I guarantee you people have been used as slaves. Oh yeah. I'm sure she's been a serial killer here. Once that killed people that came up just to work in the it's it's nuts.

Gross. People just don't think it exists so stupid. Wow. Were you able to convince them? No, no, we, I, I agreed to give them information to have a trainer come up and show them basically the evidence behind it. They, they were at least open to that, but yeah. Okay. Okay. Wow. Yes. So yeah, no, no current events to talk about this week, right?

We could, we could spend five hours talking about this shit that's going on in the world right now. Absolutely. So, yeah, move on to let's move on to the topic of the week, which is I call it fat, my fat girl, armor fat, babe armor. Whatever you have to do, whatever you put on to walk out the door that might help you to not get fat shamed.

For me, it's like performative, femininity, right? Making sure I have my makeup on making sure I have my hair done. I don't go out without my lipstick. I just don't I don't go out dressed, you know, like sloppy air quotes because I know people already think fat people are lazy, dirty, stinky don't have good hygiene, sloppy and lazy and just undisciplined.

And so it's a problem that I have this, like, even though I feel like I'm a fat activist and I'm a feminist and I believe that fuck you, if you don't like what you're looking at, look elsewhere, but I always put it all on before I walk out the door. Mm-hmm  and I can't let it go. Do you feel like you do that Merf?

I do. But not about the way I look, so I will go out with no makeup on hair and a bun, you know, that sort of thing. Just messy looking and I, I have no problem with that. I have to go out smelling good. And I have to go out Really feeling like I'm super polite. So when I engage with people, I'm breaking that stereotype of like fat people don't smell good, you know, mm-hmm  so I'm always like super fresh, super clean, you know, like everything smells perfectly.

And I'm always initially very polite and smiley that I look approachable and I'm not scary. And I I've been told so many times, you know, you're intimidating looking. No, I'm just very large. And that seems, you know, different from you. Yeah. Right. But those are my two big things. Hmm. Yeah. I, I think I do that as well.

Overly polite in the beginning, but don't fuck with me. Cause then

it's all. Oh, absolutely. The second its I'm all done. The dropped. Yes. It's I know a lot of people do it and they wish they didn't. Right. Because, and I, I feel like it's, it's not. It's not a good thing to do. I don't think like I should be able to go out as sloppy as I want to. I, you know, if other people don't worry about how they look, when they go out the door, I should, I should have that.

But I just, it's one of those things I have a hard time letting go of, I just, I know it was just training from when I was a kid, you know, my, my mom liked to send us out, looking cute. It wasn't fat then. But so if like we're a family of people that always put our makeup on and our hair on and our lipstick on, we just all do that in my family, but I know I take it to a different level than they all do, cuz they're not fat.

And I feel like if I'm, if I'm out somewhere, you know, I'm, I'm already gonna be othered right away. Cause I'll probably, usually be the largest person in the room. And you know, people stare sometimes of course, especially if you're eating fucking food, we all need, no matter how fat you are, you still have to have food that day.

But I feel like if I dress nice and I look good and I look professional and I look approachable and I look smiley. Maybe they won't be so judgemental, but I mean, even when I do all that stuff, I still get, you know, Jesus you're fat or whatever people say to me. Oh, that one, one time, this guy said to me you are so fucking fat at the post office.

It was like a Christmas time. I was mailing, like kick these out because people were ordering tons of them. And he said it really quietly as he walked by and I could hear it. And then I just turned around and I said, did you just call me fat really loudly? I don't know where it came from. It just came out.

And then everybody in the post office, and it was like 10 o'clock at night and everybody's trying to get their shit out to, and they all turned and looked and he ran off the door, like a little cockroach. It was so cool. So even when I'm looking all cute and stuff, I still get fat shame. So why not just go out all sloppy?

You're gonna get fat shamed anyway. Well, it's like you said, you have that ingrained from childhood. Like this is the process. This is the. You know, the extra that we per put on to present our best selves. Right? Yeah. So people don't judge you right. That you look sloppy or unkempt, whatever that word is.

Yeah. No, that's the right word. But a lot of, lot of fatties do it because they are just waiting for somebody to say something just like P we have your armor on you ready to just, yeah. Go to battle. It feels like a it feels like a betrayal though of my fat activism and my fat feminism. And my, I don't know.

I feel like I should wish I could get over that one a little bit. I have gotten a little bit over it, but not as much as I need to. Probably I think that's all, that's all growth. Right. You know, like we still have bad body days. We still have little things that we do as protection from things that, you know, we've experienced in life and that's okay.

Growth is recognizing you're gonna have ups and downs. Learning about how to like your body and you're gonna have ups and downs about how not to be, you know, how to be inclusive, how to not, you know, say the wrong thing. All you're gonna have moments of that. And it's all, it's all a growth learning process.

You can't be hard on yourself while you're learning. Yeah, for sure. For sure. It was interesting cuz I did have this conversation on my curvy girl page and on my fat brunch page and everybody had a lot to say about it. My fat brunch page. I asked the question, do you all go out? You know, do you put your fat babe armor on?

And a couple people answered and one of the women I believe she may be non-binary I don't know for sure. I'm sorry if I'm misgendering her, but she was also talking about being black and having to look respectable, air quotes, you go out so that you don't get, you know, maybe you get less racist hate than you do.

If you go out looking. The woman I saw at the grocery store, in her robe, in her pajamas and her slippers. And I was like, fuck. If I showed up in my robe and slippers in my pajamas as a fat human holy shit, you know, but she's thin. And with her thin boyfriend, they're both in their jammies and their robes.

And the first thing I thought of is like, oh no, you can't do that when you're fat. Yeah, yeah. That's privilege, total privilege. And then, yeah. And then, you know, like that, that person I told you about a fat brunch, he got me thinking about how it must be for women of color, people of color. You have to also have this extra layer of armor on all the time and people who express their gender, you know, that I that's gotta be a whole next level of right.

Armor needed sucks. Cause especially depending on where you live, mm-hmm, , you know, I, I mean, you think about it's kind of convoluted and kind of gets messy, but even people that are, you know, It hidden like an evangelist that's actually gay and you know it, and they're just like, I've gotta have this armor of I'm this staunch, you know, conservative, blah, blah.

It's still the type of it. And we do it for all different types of reasons. Right? Yeah. Yeah. True. And I, I, I think being fat is you can't go anywhere in society and not have that be an issue. True. Yep. Unless you're through fat community. Yes. That's. I love, and I think, you know, one of the things too is like, I will be I'll, I'll be hard on myself for certain like types of dress or like certain types of things.

Like I don't like to go out in shorts. I've never been a. Wear shorts person just because of experiences I've had as a kid. Mm-hmm , I don't like wearing tank tops and I'll still do it every once in a while, but it's just not my preferred. I don't feel comfortable in that because of situations like that.

So my big girl armor is to just not wear it. Mm-hmm  right. Me too. Yeah. I rarely go out with sleeves without with sleeve shirt and I don't really have very fat arms, but I just feel like it looks weird to me. I just need a even little cap sleeve. Yeah. And I don't have, I don't have very fat arms.

Definitely other parts of my body are fatter, but I still feel very self-conscious to go out sleeveless or a tank top, like you said. Yeah, sure. It's no way I don't mind going out an dress, but it has to be a little bit past my knees. Mm-hmm  and I feel more comfortable and you know, I don't know why I feel, why do I feel the need to perform femininity though?

Why do I need to be? I, I think that we, Ugh, this is like this, this episode could get so deep on some it could. I know. Yeah.  I think that we do that kind of as a performative thing for the patriarchy, you know? Yeah. You're more approachable. You are you, you seem like you're more engaged or you're interested.

And so this hyper feminine response is to appease and get what we want. I mean, we've really been trained that the cuter and sweeter you are, the more you get what you want. So angelic, right? Yeah.  yeah. I think you're right. People see that and they, they think, I know I do for sure. You know, I, I look at a person and I try really hard not to do the up and down.

Mm-hmm  I wish we could all get out of that every time it's done to me, I feel like such a piece of shit. Yeah. Why am I just some piece of. Meat that you're just looking at up and down. But then when I see someone who's got the little bit of makeup on and I don't know, it just seems like they're kind of more at a level, what's the right word.

But like, yeah, they, they want to be engaged when they, maybe they will be polite. If I speak to them, I know it's just all fucking brainwashing. Right, right. Programming conditioning that I've received as a child and as an adult. And so all, all day, every day, right. All the media, everything is constantly.

Yeah. I'd be interested if people have something to share with us about their fat babe armor. I'd love to hear from you. Our email is see@bigsexychat.com. Thank you.  I was thinking of what Sydney said in our polyamory episode, you know, she mentioned the red nails and the pearls and, you know, having to have that as a feeling of.

like, I'm set, I'm ready. You know, that, that's how I go out. And that's, that's exactly that kind of armor issue. Also a lot of people, a lot of people don't see fat people as sexual beings. Right. They think we don't have sex. We're too fat to have sex.  yeah. It's so funny. Cause like, I don't know if I just know a lot of horny people, but all the fat girls, I know have a lot of sex, so I don't know, but we're just hornier people, but I have a lot of sex, but I know people think that fat people that we're just not, I don't, we're just having bond, bonds, whatever the hell they think we eat.

And like, first of all, where others are will there, there's a way. And if you've ever had sex with another fat person, it's interesting. It's really fun. But you have to kind of, you know, tweak things. Mm-hmm  but I know like for me, it's important to me, for some reason that people understand I'm I'm very feminine person.

I'm kind of a girly girl. I I'm, I'm very sexual. I like a lot of. , I don't necessarily like a lot of partners, but you know, whatever, maybe one day I will. I don't judge though. People like to have a lot of partners go for it as long as everybody's safe, everybody's consenting. But yeah, I guess I want people to think I'm a sexual being.

I like to say, I like to kind of throw, I like to be like a throw, fuck you in their face. Like, yeah. I'm fat and I have sex. A lot of it. Yeah. And I eat food and I love cupcakes and fuck you, if you don't like any of that, you know? So I, I guess in a way it's me kind of like saying, fuck you, but also I know I, I have a, I need to let go a little bit of it more, you know, and be more comfortable in my own skin and not worry about the performance so much.

Yeah. Yeah. And I can work on  it's yeah. It's a slow, you know, just practice. It's a slow practice. Yeah. And the more you keep doing it, the better you get it, recognizing it and changing it. Absolutely. I'm the same way. I mean, I really I've been trying to work on Just really not being critical of the things that I know are like super chubby on me.

And one of the things we, you were talking about arms, so I have the little priest in my bicep on one arm on my left arm. And I worked with a lady right when I first like got outta college. And she, she was like, oh my God, it was the most ridiculous thing, but it just like triggered for me. So I gotta share this story.

Sure, please. She, she was this young east Indian girl and we worked with this other lady who was also a super fat and I wasn't a super fat then I was fat, but I wasn't super fat. And like I am now and. The youngies and girl looked over at me and she said you know, it's just, it's great that you're like fat, but you're not like that fat where you have the crease in your arm fat.

And I was just like, oh, so there's an acceptable level of fatness, you know, that you're willing to be around. Okay. Then I was like maybe a hundred and eighty two hundred oh two hundred then. Yeah. And I, I have that crease in my arm now. And when I first started to notice it, I was like, fuck her. And then it's God bitch in the back of my brain, when I was saying like, fuck her.

I was still like, but Merf, you know, you're, you've got that fat now. Like kind of like that. Ooh, you know that little voice that just digs at you. Yep. Man. Fat girl armor. I cover my arm. My shirts, like, you know, like it's a, it's a tough, oh yes. I love the three quarter length. Three quarter. Length's the best makes the biggest difference.

yes. Yeah. It's that tough? Where those little things to cover up those insecurities, we value those roles increases in stuff in babies. How come we don't value them in adults. Okay. And it's so soft. Like, I, I should love it. I'm trying, I'm getting to that point where I'm like, it's okay, this is good. Like, I call it my little butt arm now.

Like, like it's

funny, but it's hard to get to that point where you start to find things that you appreciate about it. It does piss me off when people have this certain level of fatness. Once you get past a certain level, you're no longer acceptable, but like, that's really disgusting. Like people who are infin of fats or immobile or have disabilities, they're still fucking humans.

They still deserve respect and dignity. Why? Why is there first of all, why do people have so much disdain for fat people? Why do they have levels? It's like, they're ruder to people who are bigger. Mm-hmm , it's just, I don't know, man. People are fucked up. I'm telling you, there is, I feel like we could sing MacLemore lyrics.

Like there is layers to this shit. Like there's so much stuff that we really deep topics about with this, but it's just, yeah. It's the things that we, those little nuanced things that we do to protect ourselves because we've been in situations where we didn't feel safe. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Or we got hurt.

We got hurt. Yes. And we feel safer if we feel like we are putting on a better presentation, I guess, outwardly, maybe we won't get that hate, you know, I'm just a fucking person, just like you, you, I'm no different just trying to shop in the grocery store, man. That's what I'm trying to, I mean, just trying to get my fucking sustenance.

I don't need you looking over at my cart, making judgements or assuming that yeah. Oh, I love when they do that. Yeah. I'm like, I look down at them. Hi, I see you.  right. My, my partner, he eats like a toddler. So when I do shop for him, for us, it looks nuts. Like we might have 10 kids at home and I'm like, just me and him.

He wants his gummy bears. He wants his Hogan dos ice cream. And he's thin of course. And he wants all of his sugar. He, he always says his favorite food group is high fructose corn syrup with a side of high fructose corn syrup. And he's kind of telling the truth. He drinks like Coca-Colas and seven abs like full sugar and just, he just operates on all day long.

It's like his energy and, oh my God. I dunno how he's not bigger, but he's just his like, like me. I have a certain genetic type of body. He has certain genetics. It keeps him looking that way. Right. But it's wild. When you see the calories, you like 5,000 calories in a day is no big deal to him. Yeah. Just like bam, all sugar burn.

My, my brain would hurt so bad though. When I eat that much sugar, I mean, I love sugar, but I know I have to balance it out. Otherwise my brain hurts. Oh, absolutely. Jittery. Uhhuh. Yeah. Yeah. But when people look at my, my, my, my shopping cart, I'm just like, oh my God, it's hilarious. He likes them double stuff, golden gram Oreos.

And I get like six of them at, at a time. Several  just looks like, and I'm like, that's, they're all for me. That's right now, I'm fat. That's how I got fat. I's gonna keep eating all this stuff. It's like, you should open one and eat it while you're walking. I should, I should.  you know, Tigris, Osborne, and SASY west.

When I had my boot. I was taking pictures of stuff and I go, oh, oh, they were like both eating their little, nothing but cakes. And I was like, oh, oh, I won't take it too. While you're eating. They go, no. Oh my God. Right, wait, I don't eating food. Come on. They're eating their little, nothing but cakes. This is so good.

I was like, fuck. Yeah, that's how it's done. Absolutely. They don't give a shit. No, I'm gonna enjoy this bunt cake. That's what I'm gonna be. Everybody enjoys those little bunt cakes, but they're, they, they didn't mind me photographing them, eating food. And they're both fat women, you know? And they were just like, fuck it.

Who cares? Right. I know people that won't eat in public because they don't want to. Yeah, it's awful. I, I go out to eat alone all the time and people are like blown away by me. And I'm like, you've never gone out to eat alone. Some of my friends have never done it in their whole life. Yeah. I do it all the time.

I don't care. Right. I'll have dessert alone. I'll have, I'm not, I just, I don't know. I don't give a shit. Yeah.  I like, I like to piss people off sometimes, you know, with the outside of the, sort of the norms that they, they, they expect absolutely open and expand those minds. Yep. Trying to, right, right. Totally.

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You sexy people to find sexy toys. Check it out after this big sexy chat and use code BSC 20 to score a 20% discount. So you can take some off before you get off. So let's talk about our listener questions. Oh yes. The question is all around. I'm interested in cons. I'm interested in fantasy. That involves non-consent, but it makes me feel icky.

what's going on. What's wrong with me?  consensual non consent, right? Yes.

CNC stands for consensual non consent. In other words, two partners agree consensual to engage in a sexual role. Play that centers around forced domination.  The key to CNC is that its foundation has to be deep trust, communication, and consensual negotiation and agreement.

Perfect. Thank you. That was so lovely. Surely great job. One of the things that we need to talk about when it comes to this and, and we get kind of in the therapy realm here, so join along and jump in. Yeah. When an individual has a, a fantasy revolving around some sort of non-consent the majority of the time, not saying all of the time, but the majority of the time it's often women it used to be the number one fantasy that women would have sexually.

But I think it takes, it gets taken out of context quite easily. So rarely would it have that explanation behind. The actual fantasy. It was just, oh, women, like the idea of non-consent no, that's not accurate. So when we're talking about consensual, non-consent, we're talking about really being just animalistic, desired to somebody and needing to have, I have to have you.

Now I have to, you know, like this has to happen in this instant. I can't ask for consent because it's just so like, you're incredible. Well, in those thoughts and fantasies that people have regarding this, almost always they're consenting to that situation. They want that feeling. They want the feeling of, I have to have you now, and this stuff's thrown off the desk and you're pushed onto, you know, that's the, the fantasy is I'm giving up this control.

And I'm also trusting the person I'm giving up the control too, but it's so animalistic and I'm so desired in the moment right now that it's not a topic of consent. It's just implied. Hmm. It's a heavy one. Yeah. I do get the whole, like, I just have to have you now, like that is very hot. I've had those experiences with my partner where it's like, you know, you're in like the mud room or the laundry or whatever.

He's like, I just have to have you now. That's, that's very intoxicating an I feeling to feel like someone desires you so much. They just have to have you right the second. But that's within the confines of my relationship. I trust him and I think, yeah, that's hot. But then like, if I didn't know him, that was the scary as shit to me.

Right? Like that's whoa, but what, tell me, what do you think about this Merf in our culture in America, women? I'm just gonna say this and I know people are piss people off, but women are pretty much running the show at.  right. Even if we don't have kids, we're still probably doing most of the emotional labor, the only thank you cards and the birthday gifts and the anniversary gifts and making sure, you know, I just, I still get the feeling, even with all the progress we've made in the world.

I have a feeling women are doing still most of the work. What do you? Yes, absolutely agree. So maybe it's a thing where they're like, fuck, I just wanna give up control for an hour or two, you know, please take me out of this world for an hour and just ravish my body. That's 1000%. It you think, so that is that it, when, when asked follow up questions and there were some surveys that they did do follow up questions, the people who said those kind of fantasies, when they encourage like more discussion about the situation mm-hmm  it always was.

I just, I want it to be somebody I know. And I'm just giving up, you know, like to be ravaged. Yes. Was never this thought of like, oh, this rando person's coming in and sexually assaulting me. Hell no, that that's not the fantasy.  the fantasy is having that dominance. But in a way that is consensual, it's just not stated outright.

It's this imediacy of, I've just overblown with desire for you. I've gotta take care of it right now. I like imediacy and animalistic. Right? Those are the two things that kind of re resonate in my brain. It's like, yeah, that's very animalistic when they're just like, it's, it's not, I feel like that way about him sometimes too.

I just like, I want you now, you know, and that's hot. Well, yeah, I don't want to be a stranger and I don't wanna be violent, you know, that's parts. Right, right. No. And the majority of the people that was, that was their. Fun, you know, was the fantasy of it being somebody that they felt safe with and not it being some random, scary situation.

Cause no, there's nothing sexy about that and no, not at all. And I don't and I, I get, I get her feeling of, I feel icky because of what you just stated, you know, when the, when the listen's writing in saying, I like the idea of this, but it feels icky it's because it non-consent should feel icky. Yes, it should.

We're we're not talking about non-consent we're talking about consensual non-consent  mm-hmm  yeah. It's a lot of fun. It's fun to play with the, the power exchange too, you know? Oh, absolutely. Give up the power and, or take the power in your bedroom. Yeah. Well it's like when we talk to Mr. Jay, you know, yes, Uhhuh, everybody's gotta have some kind of release and oh yeah.

For some folks that's. That's exactly what it is, is I'm giving over control in a very safe environment. I always think it's very fun to play submissive in the bedroom for all those reasons I mentioned earlier, which is like, I am kind of a person who's, I'm a strong personality, right? I'm a large personality.

I'm very, I like to be in control of my stuff. I'm very like decision maker. It's so nice to just have like an hour where I'm just like, oh, that's gone. It's off the table. And all I can do is just enjoy this right now. That's right. It's a lot of fun.  absolutely. It's like that. Illicium, you know, like Uhhuh, you're tuning everything out.

You're just in whatever mode you wanna be in. And you're centered in it in that moment. That's that feeling of oh, total relaxation. Mm-hmm  yeah, I hope she, I hope she finds her way and figures out. What's gonna be good for her. Yeah. And I, I would say, you know, are you exploring this in a very positive way?

Like with your partner and talking about, you know, I wanna feel super desired mm-hmm  cause that would be the greatest way to talk about having the, the fantasy played out. Right. You know, is give me, gimme a little bit of context of that, babe. And tell me a little bit more mm-hmm  would you like me to put you against the wall and mm-hmm  that kinda thing.

Yeah. Like I, we always say right. Communication is lubrication, but yeah. I hope she can. I hope she figures some fun out and yeah. Communicates with her partner and can figure out what she wants in this. So it doesn't feel icky. Yeah. Nobody wants that.  right. No. I had a friend who had a, a partner who they agreed, you know, I'm gonna come through the window and I'm gonna but it's gonna be me, you know, and all this kind.

And so he, they had this whole role play fantasy that he got locked out and she was scared. And then she realized it was him. And, you know, then it was like, oh, I can't wait to have you now because you're like, it seemed so taboo. And, you know, and they had fun with it. And she was telling like, it really felt like, you know, danger, but safe, you know, like this contained , that's fun.

People, people are so imaginative. I always, I find it so fascinating to hear when people, what gets them off and the things that they think of. I'm like, I dare, would've thought of that. I love that. Totally agree. Love it. I heard a story once. I don't know if, how true it was, but where this, this couple wanted to play.

He was going to be like Superman or Batman or something like that. And then he, he had her tied up to the bed and then he jumped off of something. And as he jumped off something, he knocked himself out and then she tied up to the bed so she couldn't get out and he was knocked out and then she was like yelling and the neighbors had to come over and let themselves in.

And she said naked spread on the bed.  I can't confirm that actually happened, but I I've heard it. I heard it from this woman at a pleasure party. And I was like, holy shit, no, to self don't ever jump off of anything in your bedroom. Okay. You might knock yourself out. Shit. I know. And the neighbor's like, are you OK?

She's like, no, come help. Oh, my God. And he's, he's acting in his Batman costume.

had to be so awesome to walk in on though, as the neighbor, like, as a cocktail story right there forever. Yes. So hilarious. Oh, that's great. So all around the topic, right? So while we're on the topic of sex and role play and all that fun stuff, let's talk about our vibe of the 

 

week.

 

vibe  the week sex furniture for fat babes. Yes. Yes. There's

so much out there. And a lot of it's crap, unfortunately, but I know you and I both are conno sewers of the liberator products. Yeah. And I love them. I love mine. Love 'em tell me what, what do you have? I have the little jazz, which I love a lot. It's very, it's smaller than my butt, but however, not butt, but, but it's that high density foam.

So it holds up to my butt. It's really nice. And it's kind of more like travel size. So it's like, it reminds me of those desks that we used to have when we were kids and the, where the desk would lift up. It was like, kinda like that size. And so it's nice for travel and you can just have it on your bed.

It doesn't look like sex furniture necessarily, but it's good for all kinds of different things. I have a wedge. I have, I have three of their sex blankets, which I love their throws. Their throws are the boss. We have a ramp. I don't have any of the red label stuff yet, but I'd like to try some of that for the size body mm-hmm , but all their other stuff works for me.

And I'm, you know, I wear like a size 28 30 pants. So I have a large downstairs. My butt and hips and stomach is where most of my weight is and they work great for me. What do you have? I have the plus size black label ramp and wedge. And I found out that they don't sell the same version anymore, but I have the black label, the plus size black label stage.

So it's like a big rectangle. And then you set up the ramp and the wedge on it so that it kind of becomes like their the ones that are scooped now. I don't know what they're called. I think they call them like an eclipse or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And then we have I have the access toy Mount.

So you can put your magic wand. Oh, I got one of those desperately that one's, it's pretty good. I get a little like, oh, I don't know. Like, it doesn't always work well in terms of the right fit at your like crotch level. Okay. You have to have some pillows underneath you to like, get it to exactly hit where you want.

Sure. Which is not terrible, but yeah. Yeah. It's the process. And then we got my husband, the Fleshlight on a mission. That's what it's called. Yeah.  so you put the it's like the toy Mount one, but you put the flashlight in it and yeah. It's, it's pretty cool. He said he'd give it a 10. Oh, okay, good.

You don't have to put anything between mattresses anymore. You're right.

So easy to please. I know, I know. Oh yeah. I, we should get that one. Cause I, I love those flashlights. I think they're so fun. They're so cool. They're I love the clear, the one is really beautiful. I'm like, oh, I love that. Yeah, but it's not made by liberator, but it's not sex furniture, but it gets, it works with the liberator furniture.

Right. Yeah, I've been really pleased with liberator. So those who don't know liberator is a sex toy furniture company. They have a lot of things that they sell. And they, they sell cushioned furniture, like their most popular for known, known for their furniture pieces. And the ramp and the wedge is, is exactly like what you think it is, right?

Like there're little pillows that you can in insert into the bedroom or wherever you are. Yeah. You know, to make, you know, the right angle work. So yep. They have plus size versions which have just a little bit more extra a little wider, a little wider. Right. And they're a little bit wider. Yeah.

Yeah. And, and then they have dominatrix N.  all the BDSM type stuff. They have all kinds of things for that. Mm-hmm  they have sex slings and swings and but the neat thing is, is that they really do make stuff that is specific for plus size folks. Yes. And I don't even have any of the stuff that's specific or plus size folks, but they all work great for me.

Yeah. And like I said, I have a, I have a heavy middle and it holds up always and you can the jazz. So first of all, we're gonna give away our giveaway. We have to get a drum roll here. We're gonna do a giveaway for the jazz. And it's lovely, cuz you can travel with if you want to, but you can use all kinds of different ways.

You can kind of put it under your tummy for doggy style. You can put it under your butt for sex or for oral sex. And you can both use it for that. If you wanna get, you know, you kind of get outta the angle. For me, I just, I, I love everything. You can take the covers off and throw 'em in the washer and the dryer.

They never. If you get lube or anything else on it, no big deal. You take it out, put in the washer and dryer, put it back on the pillow. It fits perfectly every time. Yeah. And it's like this micro sway kind of feeling mm-hmm  the, the throws are wonderful. You, I keep a throw in my living room, my bedroom, my everywhere, because you decide to have sex.

All of a sudden you have something that's gonna capture all the lube and all the other stuff. So it doesn't ruin your furniture. Doesn't make for a wet spot on your bed and you throw it in the washer and the dryer and never shrinks. It just comes out. I've had my, one of them for 10 years. It's still like it's brand new.

They make a really good quality products. I love them. Really good quality products, high quality. Yeah. And the zippers are easy to use. Yeah. The zippers are great. They're it's it's industrial type stuff, but it doesn't look or feel that way. No great stuff. Great products and great for larger bodies.

Cause sometimes I know we, especially, if you are two larger people together,  sometimes you have to kind of make tweaks and things to make things work. Sometimes if one or both of you have a larger belly, you know, things can kind of you to be creative. You know, like I always say, there's a winner. This is a will.

There's a way you're gonna make it happen. Fat people have sex all the time. People, if you're listening to this show and you didn't know this fat people have a lot of sex, we might have to tweak some, some, you know, physicians, but we make it happen no matter what we always make it happen. And there's 1,000,001 things you can do too, that not just penis and vagina, penis, and vagina, like there's some zillion million things.

And when you're horny, you get creative.  right. Well, I'm glad you mentioned that you can use 'em for oral sex too. Yes. Because I know that people be like, oh my neck, or right. Yeah. It makes big difference. So if you put your butt, like where the If you're a, like, for me, if you're a female and you put your butt on it, so that the, the thicker part of the ramp is underneath your butt, then that lifts you up.

If they're giving you oral. So their chin and their neck don't get all wonky. So yeah, you can do anything you want with them and you can just keep them in your living room and use them as pillow. Yeah. They're great for if you had heartburn and you need a little wedge to lean up against so that you're sleeping upright or right.

Yep. Watch TV. You could put it up. Mm-hmm  I wish I had one right now where I'm sitting. Cause I can't be closer to the microphone, but I'm sleeping back. Yeah. It's, there's so much fun. They're just so much fun to have around. And a lot of people have bad backs and stuff too. They find that that helps them have bad hips.

There's in a million ways, you know, when you have, sometimes when you have sex on the bed, you know, the bed sinks so much, especially if you have two people on there and one, or both of them are extra heavy. So the, you know, it's like sh you can't really move anymore. You're kinda like stuck. So if you have those furniture pieces and like stage, like he said, you're not in the bed, it's not gonna all sink down in the middle.

You know, you're not gonna be like, you can't get out. I'm like, Turling out me out.  cause after a while your bed starts to get stuck in that position. So you can, you throw this on the floor and you can have sex in your living room or on your couch, your coffee table. So true.  like I've been in this journal situations where I like to hand out, like help me up, help me up, babe.

So if people wanna enter the drawing, first of all, you're gonna have really good odds. We're using our newsletter database. We have about 600 people in that database right now. So it's fairly small. If you wanna enter into the contest, just go to our website, big, sexy chat.com and a little bit halfway down the screen.

There's a place to enter your email and your name that alone will get you entry into the drawing. And we are giving away just again, a liberator jazz. Is that it? Jazz? That's jazz pillow. Yeah. Jazz pillow. Okay. So I sell, I sell them on this connection for about a hundred bucks. Nice. And so it's yeah, a hundred dollars value.

And then we're gonna also say, if you comment on our Facebook page or on our Instagram, you'll get an additional entry, so we'll put all them there. Yeah. So you might be able to have, you know, three entries into this particular contest, and we're gonna do the giveaway with the randomizer on July 31st.

So be sure to check out our website and go enter your address. I only send like two newsletters a month. If there's something really good going on, I might send a third one, but I'm not gonna be like, Macy's, you're not gonna get an email every day from us. It takes a lot of time and work to do them. So you, the most you're gonna get is like two months from us and you can always unsubscribe.

But don't unsubscribe because we send out little reminders when we're have a new episode out, we wanna let you know, okay, we have a new one come and listen. So that's where the newsletter helps us. And then whenever we have any special things going on, or we need a new guest or we have questions for you, that's how we use our newsletter.

So easy peasy and a hundred dollars value of really fun sex toy that you can travel with. Right? Yes. They make great stuff. I love all their things. I wanna own them all. Oh, me too. I found so many things when I was looking for the black label again. Yeah. I was, oh, Hey, I don't have that. I know. I don't have that.

Oh, that looks good. They have a spreader bar. I saw that cushion. Yeah, I know. I that's one of the things that appealed to me too, I was like, Ooh, what's that? Yeah. You think of everything? Yes. I might have to get some new stuff. I know. Hey, gotta keep it fresh. Gotta keep it fresh. And if they wanted to look on your website and order one, because they didn't end up being the winner of the giveaway.

Yep. Where would they go? Just go to Blissconnection.com and then you can just search on jazz. It's just J AZ, or you can search on liberator. I sell about six or seven of their products. I'm gonna try to get a few more on their, and if they're just, yeah, everything they make is wonderful. And I, they hold up to fat bodies.

That's another reason why I love them. But also even if you're not fat, they make great products. It's just good shit. If you like to be a little more adventuring in the bedroom, I mean, when you have sex with the same person for like 10, 15, 20, 30 years, you gotta find some new stuff every once in a while, right?

Absolutely. You gotta do stuff to every once in a while. Change it up, change it up a little. Well, humans are so like habitual, right? We love our routines. Right. You know, it's like, okay. Oral, oral. Doggy style done. You know, you just, you get into these little, you all have our little dance that we do, right?

Yeah. And then you kind of, it's, it's lovely, but also sometimes tedious. So you have to try to find other ways to kind of just get out of that routine, even though, you know, it works, you, it works well, you know, it works grand, but sometimes you wanna be shoved against a wall.  you do? Consensually, consensually, absolutely.

Enthusiastic consent for everything. Yes, exactly. Yes. Anything else we should bring up this week? We're we're gonna do another episode in two weeks. Well, we've had some really good. Oh, the last one we did was the hysterectomy one. I know it's not very sexy, but it seems to be helping a few people. So that's kind of nice to hear that it's people are getting something outta that one.

That's what we wanted. Yeah. Yeah. It's not very sexy, but it was just a really good episode. But I would love it if people would let us know like their favorite creators and just things like that, that folks in the fat community that they'd love to hear from. Sure. So that we could start building another list of folks to bring on the show and interview and talk about fat sex and yeah, exactly.

Yeah. We try to keep it sexy every once in a while, you know, the current events stuff, just, yeah.  it's the times we're living in. There's no getting away. I mean, yeah. We're all probably DISA disassociating at some level right now trying, they're trying, you know, I think this is all a part of yeah. Life, how you get to feel sexy.

Mm-hmm  you have to feel like you have ownership of yourself and your life and that you're safe to really enjoy sex and you can't be this feeling of I'm gonna get pregnant and I'm gonna get screwed because I live in a state that thinks that, you know, 10 year olds should be forced. That's that's fucked up safe, safe sex is always the hottest sex.

Awesome. When you feel safe, you know, and also when you feel safe that if something bad goes wrong, you can take care of your, your own body, your own have agency over your own being. Yep. That feels safer to me when you can do it that way, but we'll get, we'll get it back. I'm sure. It's just gonna take us a while.

Yeah. Yeah. We'll we won't stop till it does. That's right. We'll stop. Never gonna stop. I don't care. I don't even have a uterus anymore. I don't give a shit. I just don't think it's okay to tell me what to do with my body. So anyway, MERF do you wanna tell everybody where they can find us and how they can find us and all that fun?

Yeah, you can find us at big, sexy chat pod on Twitter and at big sexy chat on Instagram and Facebook, you can find us at two, the number two rad fatties on TikTok. We have a fantastic young gorgeous chubby babe, named Katie. Who's helping us out with these fun TikTok. Love it. And tell 'em about your Facebook communities too, so they can join.

Oh, mm-hmm  we have a fat communities called fat community and it's just where I do events or like a, usually about once every two months we do a talk about different fat topics with speakers from the fat community. So that's a lot of fun. So just fat communities.com. Fat community on all other social media sites.

So, and don't forget, it's so helpful if you guys write us reviews on apple or even on our own website, we would, it's so important for podcast to have that little boost of the, we love hearing from you too. Cause we get the best reviews. We get the best emails it's so gratifying. It really is. And please like share or comment that gets our name out there.

And if you don't do any of that on social media or whatever, tell your friends about this podcast so that they can go out and download it. That would help us too. Absolutely. Awesome. Well, thanks. Thanks. We're a great episode. I'll see you later alligator after a while, crocodile. So where do you find your favorite fatties?

We'll check out big, sexy chat.com. You can find our podcast on any major streaming service. Just remember to like subscribe and review. You can find us at big, sexy chat on Facebook and in. And at big sexy chat pod on Twitter, you can find me Merf at Merf girl review on Twitter and at Merf girl adventures on Instagram, Chrystal tell 'em where they can find you.

Sure they can find me on Twitter at Blissconnection, and they can find me on Facebook as curvy girl, Inc. Download us every other Sunday and listen, whenever you want.