Transcript
WEBVTT
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On this episode of Big Sexy Chat, crystal and Murph are joined by a grim of all trades, the Griminator.
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She's a cancer survivor, spicy model, psychic death doula and all-around fantastic fatty.
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So settle in and prepare yourself for a show that's nothing short of a vision of fierce fat positivity.
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Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat.
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I'm Crystal, I'm Murph.
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We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month.
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We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community, cannabis, cbd you name it.
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We're going to talk about it.
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We are very excited to have you a part of our community.
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Welcome and enjoy.
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Hi everybody, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat.
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I'm so excited to be here today.
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We have a special guest and I want to just remind everybody that we have this wonderful person in the background doing all the editing and the recording.
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That's Ashley.
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She's not here on the show today, but we like to give her a little acknowledgement because she works really hard for us.
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So thank you, ashley.
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Golf clap and of course, I'm here with Merv, and we have an extra special guest today.
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Her name is Grim, that's what she goes by.
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She's a cancer survivor, so I'm a cancer survivor as well.
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A fat psychic slut.
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I love that.
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You do burlesque.
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You have a special, special, extra special vr shoot.
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You read tarot, you do all kinds of things.
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You're, you're like a one woman company I, I, literally am you are so welcome.
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Welcome to big sexy chat.
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Welcome to our fat community.
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We love to have anybody who identifies as fat on our show, because we do too, so thank you uh, thank you for having me super excited.
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I just had to see the word fat and I was in, so yay, we are excited to have you.
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It's been.
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Uh see, I learned about grim probably about a year ago because my husband sent me, um, a text message and he was like, you got to check out this profile on instagram and I was like, oh my god, like this profile on Instagram.
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And I was like, oh my God, like this, this woman is the embodiment of like every fun thing I want to be, like I yes, I have to follow.
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And then, um, you started doing, uh, well, I think you had been doing, but you were doing $10 tarot on Thursdays on your live, and I just always find tarot super interesting and fun and, um, the way that you talk and your energy like I was just like this is so great.
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So now it's like a regular thing for us.
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Like, on Thursday nights, we hang out and we put uh Grimm on the tv.
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We, you know, do this the cast from the phone to the tv and and get to watch you on there, and it's been.
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It's a nice little community that you've built too, so it's a lot of fun.
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Murph, I'm trying to imagine the pumpkins on your big screen tv right.
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James must be like when I said tv, I was like, oh, that's an experience that I wasn't I love it.
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I love it if you uh are only listening and not getting a visual.
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You need to find the visual format of this episode.
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Grim has on a corset, a velvet corset that is like this beautiful auburn, like orangey it looks like it's ombre, almost I don't know if it is, but it's this gorgeous corset that's like got you know around her gigantic gorgeous boobs.
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It's fantastic.
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I was like just keep going.
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Yeah, I'm from.
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It's incredible.
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I could.
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I probably could sit here for, yeah, half an hour describing your boobs wanted to give the the podcast viewers a little something you know that's right.
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So tell us about you, because Crystal said you have such an eclectic work history, different professions, different things that you do.
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Tell us about it.
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Yeah, I have a bit.
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I've always been like that.
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I always do everything.
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You know, I'm a Gemini, as they say, and I feel like when I say I do that many things, people are like, yeah, ok, and I'm like, no, I, I literally do all of those things.
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So I'm, I'm a, I'm a tired girl, but I like, I like, um, functioning at this rate of anxiety, um, but I, uh, I did retail for like 17 years, so I was a retail manager and I hated it.
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But as, as I got older, I did all of these things and had a full-time retail job at the same time and I knew the goal was to stop doing retail.
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I didn't want to do it anymore, so I did it here.
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I am.
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So tell, tell us, like I know, I know we're missing things just from the profile of the things that we've listed, like what is it that you're currently doing?
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And like the process of how you kind of led from one to the other.
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Oh god, oh, process, what's that?
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So I think so.
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I started with modeling because I did theater and acting, so I needed headshots and I was like, oh, it'd be really fun to have a fun photo shoot.
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That'd be silly.
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So we did my headshots and then I did some lingerie.
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My man had a photography degree and I at this time had no self-esteem.
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So when I looked at the photos I looked much better than I thought I did.
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So I started doing that a lot and then I ended up gaining a following and I realized like, oh, people like want to see me like that's new and that and that kind of led a very long road into an only fans kind of level.
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You know what I mean?
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I never liked myself physically until I started modeling.
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I was like maybe 25, starting self-love.
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Not only do they want to see you, they want to pay to see you.
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Yes, isn't that so empowering.
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Isn't that crazy.
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I'll be on the couch in a big t-shirt eating cinnamon chips with no makeup on, and I'll be like people paid.
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Look at me, Wow, it's so jarring yeah.
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Gotta remind myself.
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You started out not feeling confident about yourself.
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So then you start to see these pictures of yourself, you start to gain a following.
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How did that then kind of blow up into so much more?
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I feel like it's a slow burn, but I've been doing this before.
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Onlyfans was a thing.
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Okay, like we used to have to do this manually, like find people on the internet, ask them like how old are you, do you have an ID, do you want this?
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This?
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We did it literally the manual way.
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So I I started it because people asked for it.
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Period, uh, old things like only fans, loyal fans.
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Those websites just make it easier, you know, and, and you know, make me do my taxes different.
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But but people were asking for it and the requests get crazier the longer I'm in the industry, which I love yeah, and do you do?
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you do like dominatrix type stuff?
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too, I do.
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I'm actually going to do more of that this year.
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Nice yeah, because I'm very picky with who I work with.
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Yeah, you might go listen to our podcast of one of my best friends.
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She's a pro dom here in San Jose.
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We interviewed her a couple of years ago and it was really great.
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We interviewed her a couple of years ago and it was really great, and it's one of our very popular podcasts.
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but she makes bank and she should.
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Sometimes people will pay her and I've helped with this to tickle them, oh yeah.
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And then people will pay her, like for three hours, to just lick her toes.
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And she just puts her table out, gets her computer out, writes her thank you notes, while they worship her feet for three hours fifteen hundred dollars.
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Yeah, they, they should they're paying to be in her presence absolutely.
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It's absolutely.
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Yeah, oh, I know and like think of what that does for your confidence oh yeah yeah, not that we're confident all the time, of course not what I'm saying.
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We're human.
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But you get it like I have to remind, like when I am having a rough week or whatnot with self-image, I do remind myself yeah, like someone would pay to see me like just waking up.
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Oh yeah, exactly exactly and they probably would pay more for, even like the gross stuff of like they do eating the crusties out of my eyes and sitting down to go pee and getting to what like yeah, I sell a lot of anything that comes off your body.
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Yes, like they'll, they'll buy.
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Um, the only thing about uh, the only fans wave, I'll call it.
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It made it much more acceptable to talk about my work, which I love, but it also made every a lot of prices have to go down.
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Um, if you want to be on that kind of website, nobody's paying what they used to pay.
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Onlyfans has brought like a whole new clientele where they're like cool, can I have everything you've ever done for $5?
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Like that mentality and it's like no.
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That's the one thing I don't like about how popular this has become.
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May I interject just two quick things.
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I used to own a shop of lingerie just for fat women or fat people, anybody over the size 14.
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And sometimes people would tell me I feel so ugly, I feel so disgusted and I would ask them do you think I'm disgusting?
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They're like, oh my God, you're so beautiful.
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I'm like so are you.
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So sometimes you just have to be reminded and you know, like get somebody, shake somebody out of their coma, that they're in.
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They're so sure that they're too fat to do whatever it is I'm like.
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Do you we have the same body?
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Do you think I'm gross?
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oh, my god, no like so when I was a retail manager of multiple plus size stores.
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So I that my whole career was dealing with women that didn't like what they looked like, and it got to the point where I was so sick of hearing it that that that almost helped me.
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Like myself too.
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I'm like like I was maybe 28 at the time and I'm helping a 50 year old woman who still doesn't like her arms, still won't wear that, because her mom will think X, y and Z.
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And I'm like you're 50, 60 years old, you're still thinking that way because it's not going to be me.
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It's absolutely not going to be me.
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Hashtag big big arms, no harm.
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That's literally where the hashtag came from.
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Yeah, my hashtag is sex, not diets.
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The last thing I was just going to say is that when I had my boutique, we had the same problem you have with instagram when you show too much flesh, the bots assume it's porn, correct you're?
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having that's a whole conversation, because I see nude people and on instagram and they're not getting taken down, so that's all flesh.
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And I feel like instagram was like oh well, bigger bodies have more skin and I'm like me in a bikini.
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Isn't equating to the girl with the close-up naked photo, right?
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I don't understand that.
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And they're just like oh the ai can't figure it out, right?
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it has nothing to do with bias of the people that actually create the algorithm of course of course not.
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No, no, yeah, so you're in the modeling.
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You're getting things going with the OnlyFans.
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That's now led to some different shoots with different production companies.
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I heard that you got to record something to do with virtual reality.
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Tell us more about that.
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Vr was so cool.
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So I um, a blush erotica hired me to do a vr like a pov.
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It was just me, I wasn't with someone else in a scene and, um, they're, actually, they're sponsoring me to go to exotica in new jersey october 27, 28.
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So I will be in exotica Jersey.
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That's the next thing that's happening.
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They made it so easy.
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So before I even showed up because I'm an old millennial, I don't know how VR works so before I showed up, they sent me everything.
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They're like these are the shots of the angles we're going to do.
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You get to break between each one when you're.
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When you think you're done, just freeze and we'll stop the camera.
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I was told everything before I even showed up.
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It was way easier than I expected and especially I have a bachelor's in film.
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So, oh, I have a list of shots to do.
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Call it a day, and it's funny, we're already curvy.
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But in VR, to watch the POV, I'm like this is why people drool over us.
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It was nice to be able to watch it and see how people feel when they have all of this coming at them and I'm like, oh, I get it.
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I get it now.
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It makes you want to reach out and touch.
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For sure, yes.
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Oh, it was so cool.
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They were a lot of fun.
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Yeah, so are they releasing that around the time that you're going to Exotica?
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or is that?
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Yeah, oh, it's already out.
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Oh yeah, it's out on their website.
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Oh okay, and you said it's Blush Erotica.
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Okay.
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They film with our friend Amazon Amanda she's actually going to be at Exotica too, so maybe we can get the two of you connected, because she's a lot of fun too.
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I think you'd enjoy hanging out with her.
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Yeah, of course.
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Yeah, there's so many people are at Exotica.
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It's going to be a good time, yeah.
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It'll be so fun.
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And, crystal, I think you're trying to say something right now.
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I was just saying that I believe that Blush website is blusheroticaVRcom.
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Fantastic.
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So if you want to see those pumpkin corset boobs in full VR, it's wild.
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So you've done this modeling, you've done shoots, burlesque.
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Tell us about burlesque, oh my god, and you have a a very purple, uh, friendly, uh person.
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I think everybody needs to know that you do I?
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so, oh, so I did.
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I've done stand-up comedy.
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That's what I did first and, and I used to go to burlesque shows and, like wish, going to burlesque shows almost made me depressed because I wasn't doing it and I thought that I couldn't.
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So I'm only mentioning comedy first, because all my burlesque is funny.
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So I also, I'm hypermobile, I have fibromyalgia, so I'm in pain 24-7.
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So I literally thought this wasn't a thing I could do.
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And I did a burlesque class years ago and after I had cancer, my friends produced an all-fat burlesque show and I went to it.
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Infatuation in, I think it's Cambridge, and it blew, blew my mind, first of all because everybody was fat, but secondly I was like I mean, I, I don't have to be like J-Lo dancing on this stage, like I was like I can move, like this, this is something I can do.
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And, um, my, so my friend gave me like a beginner show, like the July following after that and that's when I did Grimace.
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And the funny part is so my last name is Grima, that literally is my name, my last name's Grim up.
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So in March I was like I'm going to do Grimace.
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It's going to be so stupid.
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And in June Grimace came back in McDonald's.
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People thought I was planning it.
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I picked Grimace before he came back and it lined up with the shake coming out his birthday.
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I mean I was like what am I a psychic?
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So I've done Grimace twice.
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And the cool part is is that the following spring after that I was on infatuation doing Grimace.
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That's so interesting.
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It's like meta right.
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Yes, it was so cool, I just had a show last Wednesday, this Wednesday, how often are you, uh, performing?
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I would say I do so much that I do about me.
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I've done like five shows a year, five to seven shows a year, um, but they're all different.
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So I was just um.
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Grimace isn't the only goofy thing I've done.
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I was crusty the clown, um, I was alice cooper with the way's World, alice Cooper.
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Yeah, yeah.
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And I was you loved Frankenstein.
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Yes, I came out with like Wayne's World puppets at first, and then I was Alice Cooper, and then the last Wednesday I did like a bimbo big boob lady, but like the, the fake boobs I put on were like eight feet across, so that was really fun so like everything's stupid, I love stupid that's fantastic um I have another purple idea for you that's stupid, which is barney and oh my god, people try to um, the trolls try to talk shit about me.
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Because I love purple, they always want to call me barney.
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I'm like everybody fucking loves barney, you idiot.
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Like everybody loves barney.
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I love love you, you love me.
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Hello, I'm not going to be offended by being called fucking Barney.
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Yes, that's kind of where I come from.
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I would do burlesque as a whale.
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How many times have we been called whales?
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Right.
00:17:18.705 --> 00:17:19.907
I wanted to be a bus once.
00:17:19.907 --> 00:17:28.297
I just never did that show Hippoo, it's like yeah, narwhal narwhal barney's like that's badass.
00:17:28.297 --> 00:17:29.381
My favorite color is purple.
00:17:29.602 --> 00:17:37.771
I would do barney oh it turns out, according to the trolls, that all fat women love purple, so just get on it, y'all do you think that's?
00:17:37.872 --> 00:17:38.615
do we all love purple?
00:17:38.615 --> 00:17:38.875
Here?
00:17:39.396 --> 00:17:40.199
yeah, I love purple.
00:17:40.199 --> 00:17:43.125
Yeah, I love every color I'm wearing rainbow bright.
00:17:43.165 --> 00:17:44.387
so I mean I have purple hair.
00:17:45.049 --> 00:17:46.357
Yeah, and they also were real.
00:17:46.357 --> 00:17:50.030
If you don't have natural color hair, you're probably extremely liberal.
00:17:50.973 --> 00:17:53.162
Oh yeah, I mean, I had purple hair for a decade.
00:17:53.162 --> 00:17:55.923
Yes, I'd still have it if I didn't lose all my hair.
00:17:56.194 --> 00:17:59.224
Oh yeah with the cancer, yeah yeah.
00:17:59.224 --> 00:18:01.739
How long ago was your cancer diagnosis?
00:18:03.061 --> 00:18:06.308
So I finished chemo two years ago.
