Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.119 --> 00:00:06.113
On this episode of Big Sexy Chat, crystal and Murph are joined by a grim of all trades, the Griminator.
00:00:06.113 --> 00:00:12.714
She's a cancer survivor, spicy model, psychic death doula and all-around fantastic fatty.
00:00:12.714 --> 00:00:19.833
So settle in and prepare yourself for a show that's nothing short of a vision of fierce fat positivity.
00:00:24.881 --> 00:00:26.425
Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat.
00:00:26.425 --> 00:00:28.231
I'm Crystal, I'm Murph.
00:00:28.231 --> 00:00:33.682
We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month.
00:00:33.701 --> 00:00:42.384
We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community, cannabis, cbd you name it.
00:00:42.384 --> 00:00:43.167
We're going to talk about it.
00:00:43.167 --> 00:00:46.088
We are very excited to have you a part of our community.
00:00:46.088 --> 00:00:46.929
Welcome and enjoy.
00:00:46.929 --> 00:00:51.066
Hi everybody, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat.
00:00:51.066 --> 00:00:52.570
I'm so excited to be here today.
00:00:52.570 --> 00:01:00.622
We have a special guest and I want to just remind everybody that we have this wonderful person in the background doing all the editing and the recording.
00:01:00.622 --> 00:01:01.363
That's Ashley.
00:01:01.363 --> 00:01:06.471
She's not here on the show today, but we like to give her a little acknowledgement because she works really hard for us.
00:01:06.471 --> 00:01:07.451
So thank you, ashley.
00:01:07.451 --> 00:01:13.188
Golf clap and of course, I'm here with Merv, and we have an extra special guest today.
00:01:13.188 --> 00:01:15.460
Her name is Grim, that's what she goes by.
00:01:15.460 --> 00:01:17.787
She's a cancer survivor, so I'm a cancer survivor as well.
00:01:17.787 --> 00:01:19.271
A fat psychic slut.
00:01:19.411 --> 00:01:19.992
I love that.
00:01:27.260 --> 00:01:27.840
You do burlesque.
00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:29.043
You have a special, special, extra special vr shoot.
00:01:29.043 --> 00:01:30.846
You read tarot, you do all kinds of things.
00:01:30.846 --> 00:01:33.912
You're, you're like a one woman company I, I, literally am you are so welcome.
00:01:33.912 --> 00:01:34.960
Welcome to big sexy chat.
00:01:34.960 --> 00:01:36.063
Welcome to our fat community.
00:01:36.063 --> 00:01:44.390
We love to have anybody who identifies as fat on our show, because we do too, so thank you uh, thank you for having me super excited.
00:01:45.132 --> 00:01:49.947
I just had to see the word fat and I was in, so yay, we are excited to have you.
00:01:50.269 --> 00:01:50.709
It's been.
00:01:50.709 --> 00:02:04.614
Uh see, I learned about grim probably about a year ago because my husband sent me, um, a text message and he was like, you got to check out this profile on instagram and I was like, oh my god, like this profile on Instagram.
00:02:04.614 --> 00:02:11.812
And I was like, oh my God, like this, this woman is the embodiment of like every fun thing I want to be, like I yes, I have to follow.
00:02:11.812 --> 00:02:29.205
And then, um, you started doing, uh, well, I think you had been doing, but you were doing $10 tarot on Thursdays on your live, and I just always find tarot super interesting and fun and, um, the way that you talk and your energy like I was just like this is so great.
00:02:29.205 --> 00:02:30.890
So now it's like a regular thing for us.
00:02:30.890 --> 00:02:35.308
Like, on Thursday nights, we hang out and we put uh Grimm on the tv.
00:02:35.308 --> 00:02:41.497
We, you know, do this the cast from the phone to the tv and and get to watch you on there, and it's been.
00:02:41.497 --> 00:02:45.123
It's a nice little community that you've built too, so it's a lot of fun.
00:02:45.485 --> 00:02:50.573
Murph, I'm trying to imagine the pumpkins on your big screen tv right.
00:02:51.054 --> 00:02:56.793
James must be like when I said tv, I was like, oh, that's an experience that I wasn't I love it.
00:02:56.832 --> 00:03:01.485
I love it if you uh are only listening and not getting a visual.
00:03:01.485 --> 00:03:05.413
You need to find the visual format of this episode.
00:03:06.340 --> 00:03:24.923
Grim has on a corset, a velvet corset that is like this beautiful auburn, like orangey it looks like it's ombre, almost I don't know if it is, but it's this gorgeous corset that's like got you know around her gigantic gorgeous boobs.
00:03:24.923 --> 00:03:26.307
It's fantastic.
00:03:26.307 --> 00:03:28.062
I was like just keep going.
00:03:28.062 --> 00:03:29.524
Yeah, I'm from.
00:03:29.524 --> 00:03:31.228
It's incredible.
00:03:31.228 --> 00:03:31.609
I could.
00:03:31.609 --> 00:03:40.502
I probably could sit here for, yeah, half an hour describing your boobs wanted to give the the podcast viewers a little something you know that's right.
00:03:41.585 --> 00:03:51.192
So tell us about you, because Crystal said you have such an eclectic work history, different professions, different things that you do.
00:03:51.192 --> 00:03:51.872
Tell us about it.
00:03:52.039 --> 00:03:52.943
Yeah, I have a bit.
00:03:52.943 --> 00:03:54.427
I've always been like that.
00:03:54.427 --> 00:03:55.411
I always do everything.
00:03:55.411 --> 00:04:08.663
You know, I'm a Gemini, as they say, and I feel like when I say I do that many things, people are like, yeah, ok, and I'm like, no, I, I literally do all of those things.
00:04:08.663 --> 00:04:25.435
So I'm, I'm a, I'm a tired girl, but I like, I like, um, functioning at this rate of anxiety, um, but I, uh, I did retail for like 17 years, so I was a retail manager and I hated it.
00:04:25.435 --> 00:04:35.745
But as, as I got older, I did all of these things and had a full-time retail job at the same time and I knew the goal was to stop doing retail.
00:04:35.745 --> 00:04:39.473
I didn't want to do it anymore, so I did it here.
00:04:39.533 --> 00:04:39.980
I am.
00:04:40.721 --> 00:04:49.629
So tell, tell us, like I know, I know we're missing things just from the profile of the things that we've listed, like what is it that you're currently doing?
00:04:49.629 --> 00:04:53.704
And like the process of how you kind of led from one to the other.
00:04:54.685 --> 00:04:56.629
Oh god, oh, process, what's that?
00:04:56.629 --> 00:05:00.043
So I think so.
00:05:00.043 --> 00:05:08.685
I started with modeling because I did theater and acting, so I needed headshots and I was like, oh, it'd be really fun to have a fun photo shoot.
00:05:08.685 --> 00:05:09.406
That'd be silly.
00:05:09.406 --> 00:05:13.942
So we did my headshots and then I did some lingerie.
00:05:13.942 --> 00:05:20.795
My man had a photography degree and I at this time had no self-esteem.
00:05:20.795 --> 00:05:25.511
So when I looked at the photos I looked much better than I thought I did.
00:05:25.511 --> 00:05:43.346
So I started doing that a lot and then I ended up gaining a following and I realized like, oh, people like want to see me like that's new and that and that kind of led a very long road into an only fans kind of level.
00:05:43.346 --> 00:05:44.108
You know what I mean?
00:05:44.108 --> 00:05:49.845
I never liked myself physically until I started modeling.
00:05:49.845 --> 00:05:54.233
I was like maybe 25, starting self-love.
00:05:55.019 --> 00:05:57.507
Not only do they want to see you, they want to pay to see you.
00:05:57.507 --> 00:05:59.939
Yes, isn't that so empowering.
00:06:00.060 --> 00:06:00.961
Isn't that crazy.
00:06:00.961 --> 00:06:09.285
I'll be on the couch in a big t-shirt eating cinnamon chips with no makeup on, and I'll be like people paid.
00:06:09.285 --> 00:06:12.564
Look at me, Wow, it's so jarring yeah.
00:06:13.427 --> 00:06:14.350
Gotta remind myself.
00:06:14.980 --> 00:06:17.747
You started out not feeling confident about yourself.
00:06:17.747 --> 00:06:21.470
So then you start to see these pictures of yourself, you start to gain a following.
00:06:21.470 --> 00:06:26.208
How did that then kind of blow up into so much more?
00:06:27.740 --> 00:06:32.651
I feel like it's a slow burn, but I've been doing this before.
00:06:32.651 --> 00:06:33.612
Onlyfans was a thing.
00:06:33.612 --> 00:06:42.065
Okay, like we used to have to do this manually, like find people on the internet, ask them like how old are you, do you have an ID, do you want this?
00:06:42.065 --> 00:06:42.226
This?
00:06:42.226 --> 00:06:44.350
We did it literally the manual way.
00:06:44.350 --> 00:06:47.485
So I I started it because people asked for it.
00:06:47.485 --> 00:06:51.038
Period, uh, old things like only fans, loyal fans.
00:06:51.038 --> 00:06:56.050
Those websites just make it easier, you know, and, and you know, make me do my taxes different.
00:06:56.050 --> 00:07:04.584
But but people were asking for it and the requests get crazier the longer I'm in the industry, which I love yeah, and do you do?
00:07:04.644 --> 00:07:06.831
you do like dominatrix type stuff?
00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:08.041
too, I do.
00:07:08.041 --> 00:07:10.447
I'm actually going to do more of that this year.
00:07:10.447 --> 00:07:14.281
Nice yeah, because I'm very picky with who I work with.
00:07:14.983 --> 00:07:17.490
Yeah, you might go listen to our podcast of one of my best friends.
00:07:17.490 --> 00:07:19.382
She's a pro dom here in San Jose.
00:07:19.382 --> 00:07:22.711
We interviewed her a couple of years ago and it was really great.
00:07:22.711 --> 00:07:29.242
We interviewed her a couple of years ago and it was really great, and it's one of our very popular podcasts.
00:07:29.262 --> 00:07:30.242
but she makes bank and she should.
00:07:30.824 --> 00:07:35.971
Sometimes people will pay her and I've helped with this to tickle them, oh yeah.
00:07:35.971 --> 00:07:39.175
And then people will pay her, like for three hours, to just lick her toes.
00:07:39.175 --> 00:07:51.290
And she just puts her table out, gets her computer out, writes her thank you notes, while they worship her feet for three hours fifteen hundred dollars.
00:07:51.290 --> 00:07:52.754
Yeah, they, they should they're paying to be in her presence absolutely.
00:07:52.774 --> 00:07:53.076
It's absolutely.
00:07:53.076 --> 00:07:59.259
Yeah, oh, I know and like think of what that does for your confidence oh yeah yeah, not that we're confident all the time, of course not what I'm saying.
00:07:59.259 --> 00:07:59.661
We're human.
00:07:59.661 --> 00:08:10.911
But you get it like I have to remind, like when I am having a rough week or whatnot with self-image, I do remind myself yeah, like someone would pay to see me like just waking up.
00:08:11.192 --> 00:08:26.822
Oh yeah, exactly exactly and they probably would pay more for, even like the gross stuff of like they do eating the crusties out of my eyes and sitting down to go pee and getting to what like yeah, I sell a lot of anything that comes off your body.
00:08:27.122 --> 00:08:28.586
Yes, like they'll, they'll buy.
00:08:28.586 --> 00:08:35.221
Um, the only thing about uh, the only fans wave, I'll call it.
00:08:35.221 --> 00:08:42.702
It made it much more acceptable to talk about my work, which I love, but it also made every a lot of prices have to go down.
00:08:42.702 --> 00:08:48.995
Um, if you want to be on that kind of website, nobody's paying what they used to pay.
00:08:48.995 --> 00:08:56.754
Onlyfans has brought like a whole new clientele where they're like cool, can I have everything you've ever done for $5?
00:08:56.754 --> 00:08:59.164
Like that mentality and it's like no.
00:08:59.164 --> 00:09:04.071
That's the one thing I don't like about how popular this has become.
00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:06.726
May I interject just two quick things.
00:09:06.726 --> 00:09:12.511
I used to own a shop of lingerie just for fat women or fat people, anybody over the size 14.
00:09:12.511 --> 00:09:20.028
And sometimes people would tell me I feel so ugly, I feel so disgusted and I would ask them do you think I'm disgusting?
00:09:20.028 --> 00:09:21.565
They're like, oh my God, you're so beautiful.
00:09:21.565 --> 00:09:22.469
I'm like so are you.
00:09:22.469 --> 00:09:32.729
So sometimes you just have to be reminded and you know, like get somebody, shake somebody out of their coma, that they're in.
00:09:32.769 --> 00:09:34.192
They're so sure that they're too fat to do whatever it is I'm like.
00:09:34.192 --> 00:09:35.176
Do you we have the same body?
00:09:35.176 --> 00:09:35.841
Do you think I'm gross?
00:09:36.243 --> 00:09:41.779
oh, my god, no like so when I was a retail manager of multiple plus size stores.
00:09:41.779 --> 00:09:53.044
So I that my whole career was dealing with women that didn't like what they looked like, and it got to the point where I was so sick of hearing it that that that almost helped me.
00:09:53.044 --> 00:09:54.288
Like myself too.
00:09:54.288 --> 00:10:04.767
I'm like like I was maybe 28 at the time and I'm helping a 50 year old woman who still doesn't like her arms, still won't wear that, because her mom will think X, y and Z.
00:10:04.767 --> 00:10:09.392
And I'm like you're 50, 60 years old, you're still thinking that way because it's not going to be me.
00:10:09.392 --> 00:10:11.583
It's absolutely not going to be me.
00:10:12.446 --> 00:10:14.351
Hashtag big big arms, no harm.
00:10:14.351 --> 00:10:16.706
That's literally where the hashtag came from.
00:10:16.725 --> 00:10:20.187
Yeah, my hashtag is sex, not diets.
00:10:22.082 --> 00:10:30.979
The last thing I was just going to say is that when I had my boutique, we had the same problem you have with instagram when you show too much flesh, the bots assume it's porn, correct you're?
00:10:31.019 --> 00:10:40.283
having that's a whole conversation, because I see nude people and on instagram and they're not getting taken down, so that's all flesh.
00:10:40.283 --> 00:10:48.042
And I feel like instagram was like oh well, bigger bodies have more skin and I'm like me in a bikini.
00:10:48.042 --> 00:10:52.638
Isn't equating to the girl with the close-up naked photo, right?
00:10:52.638 --> 00:10:53.480
I don't understand that.
00:10:53.480 --> 00:10:57.207
And they're just like oh the ai can't figure it out, right?
00:10:58.049 --> 00:11:04.147
it has nothing to do with bias of the people that actually create the algorithm of course of course not.
00:11:04.147 --> 00:11:09.375
No, no, yeah, so you're in the modeling.
00:11:09.375 --> 00:11:13.966
You're getting things going with the OnlyFans.
00:11:13.966 --> 00:11:18.548
That's now led to some different shoots with different production companies.
00:11:18.548 --> 00:11:23.684
I heard that you got to record something to do with virtual reality.
00:11:23.784 --> 00:11:24.668
Tell us more about that.
00:11:24.668 --> 00:11:28.240
Vr was so cool.
00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:34.792
So I um, a blush erotica hired me to do a vr like a pov.
00:11:34.792 --> 00:11:43.903
It was just me, I wasn't with someone else in a scene and, um, they're, actually, they're sponsoring me to go to exotica in new jersey october 27, 28.
00:11:43.903 --> 00:11:45.485
So I will be in exotica Jersey.
00:11:45.485 --> 00:11:49.610
That's the next thing that's happening.
00:11:50.111 --> 00:11:51.293
They made it so easy.
00:11:51.293 --> 00:12:01.442
So before I even showed up because I'm an old millennial, I don't know how VR works so before I showed up, they sent me everything.
00:12:01.442 --> 00:12:04.787
They're like these are the shots of the angles we're going to do.
00:12:04.787 --> 00:12:07.392
You get to break between each one when you're.
00:12:07.392 --> 00:12:10.542
When you think you're done, just freeze and we'll stop the camera.
00:12:10.542 --> 00:12:12.667
I was told everything before I even showed up.
00:12:12.667 --> 00:12:17.642
It was way easier than I expected and especially I have a bachelor's in film.
00:12:17.642 --> 00:12:19.884
So, oh, I have a list of shots to do.
00:12:19.884 --> 00:12:25.552
Call it a day, and it's funny, we're already curvy.
00:12:25.552 --> 00:12:36.562
But in VR, to watch the POV, I'm like this is why people drool over us.
00:12:36.562 --> 00:12:40.075
It was nice to be able to watch it and see how people feel when they have all of this coming at them and I'm like, oh, I get it.
00:12:40.075 --> 00:12:41.360
I get it now.
00:12:42.100 --> 00:12:43.644
It makes you want to reach out and touch.
00:12:43.644 --> 00:12:44.927
For sure, yes.
00:12:44.947 --> 00:12:46.529
Oh, it was so cool.
00:12:46.529 --> 00:12:47.653
They were a lot of fun.
00:12:48.379 --> 00:12:54.052
Yeah, so are they releasing that around the time that you're going to Exotica?
00:12:54.272 --> 00:12:54.913
or is that?
00:12:55.659 --> 00:12:56.408
Yeah, oh, it's already out.
00:12:56.408 --> 00:12:57.620
Oh yeah, it's out on their website.
00:12:57.620 --> 00:13:00.764
Oh okay, and you said it's Blush Erotica.
00:13:01.605 --> 00:13:01.886
Okay.
00:13:02.246 --> 00:13:12.692
They film with our friend Amazon Amanda she's actually going to be at Exotica too, so maybe we can get the two of you connected, because she's a lot of fun too.
00:13:12.692 --> 00:13:14.845
I think you'd enjoy hanging out with her.
00:13:14.884 --> 00:13:15.365
Yeah, of course.
00:13:15.365 --> 00:13:17.211
Yeah, there's so many people are at Exotica.
00:13:17.211 --> 00:13:19.062
It's going to be a good time, yeah.
00:13:19.142 --> 00:13:19.842
It'll be so fun.
00:13:19.842 --> 00:13:22.647
And, crystal, I think you're trying to say something right now.
00:13:23.648 --> 00:13:28.774
I was just saying that I believe that Blush website is blusheroticaVRcom.
00:13:29.556 --> 00:13:30.517
Fantastic.
00:13:30.517 --> 00:13:38.474
So if you want to see those pumpkin corset boobs in full VR, it's wild.
00:13:38.474 --> 00:13:44.827
So you've done this modeling, you've done shoots, burlesque.
00:13:44.827 --> 00:13:52.549
Tell us about burlesque, oh my god, and you have a a very purple, uh, friendly, uh person.
00:13:52.549 --> 00:13:55.760
I think everybody needs to know that you do I?
00:13:56.001 --> 00:13:58.904
so, oh, so I did.
00:13:58.904 --> 00:14:00.447
I've done stand-up comedy.
00:14:00.447 --> 00:14:12.912
That's what I did first and, and I used to go to burlesque shows and, like wish, going to burlesque shows almost made me depressed because I wasn't doing it and I thought that I couldn't.
00:14:12.912 --> 00:14:17.086
So I'm only mentioning comedy first, because all my burlesque is funny.
00:14:17.086 --> 00:14:22.945
So I also, I'm hypermobile, I have fibromyalgia, so I'm in pain 24-7.
00:14:22.945 --> 00:14:26.041
So I literally thought this wasn't a thing I could do.
00:14:26.041 --> 00:14:40.188
And I did a burlesque class years ago and after I had cancer, my friends produced an all-fat burlesque show and I went to it.
00:14:40.730 --> 00:14:57.453
Infatuation in, I think it's Cambridge, and it blew, blew my mind, first of all because everybody was fat, but secondly I was like I mean, I, I don't have to be like J-Lo dancing on this stage, like I was like I can move, like this, this is something I can do.
00:14:57.453 --> 00:15:06.904
And, um, my, so my friend gave me like a beginner show, like the July following after that and that's when I did Grimace.
00:15:06.904 --> 00:15:14.049
And the funny part is so my last name is Grima, that literally is my name, my last name's Grim up.
00:15:14.049 --> 00:15:17.192
So in March I was like I'm going to do Grimace.
00:15:17.192 --> 00:15:18.152
It's going to be so stupid.
00:15:18.152 --> 00:15:35.921
And in June Grimace came back in McDonald's.
00:15:35.921 --> 00:15:36.621
People thought I was planning it.
00:15:36.621 --> 00:15:40.746
I picked Grimace before he came back and it lined up with the shake coming out his birthday.
00:15:40.746 --> 00:15:43.431
I mean I was like what am I a psychic?
00:15:43.431 --> 00:15:47.475
So I've done Grimace twice.
00:15:47.475 --> 00:15:53.673
And the cool part is is that the following spring after that I was on infatuation doing Grimace.
00:15:55.381 --> 00:15:56.505
That's so interesting.
00:15:56.505 --> 00:15:57.669
It's like meta right.
00:15:59.001 --> 00:16:05.167
Yes, it was so cool, I just had a show last Wednesday, this Wednesday, how often are you, uh, performing?
00:16:05.167 --> 00:16:08.809
I would say I do so much that I do about me.
00:16:08.809 --> 00:16:13.764
I've done like five shows a year, five to seven shows a year, um, but they're all different.
00:16:13.764 --> 00:16:15.107
So I was just um.
00:16:15.107 --> 00:16:17.273
Grimace isn't the only goofy thing I've done.
00:16:17.273 --> 00:16:23.668
I was crusty the clown, um, I was alice cooper with the way's World, alice Cooper.
00:16:24.350 --> 00:16:25.251
Yeah, yeah.
00:16:25.731 --> 00:16:27.235
And I was you loved Frankenstein.
00:16:27.235 --> 00:16:59.375
Yes, I came out with like Wayne's World puppets at first, and then I was Alice Cooper, and then the last Wednesday I did like a bimbo big boob lady, but like the, the fake boobs I put on were like eight feet across, so that was really fun so like everything's stupid, I love stupid that's fantastic um I have another purple idea for you that's stupid, which is barney and oh my god, people try to um, the trolls try to talk shit about me.
00:16:59.416 --> 00:17:01.061
Because I love purple, they always want to call me barney.
00:17:01.061 --> 00:17:03.118
I'm like everybody fucking loves barney, you idiot.
00:17:03.118 --> 00:17:04.383
Like everybody loves barney.
00:17:04.383 --> 00:17:05.929
I love love you, you love me.
00:17:05.929 --> 00:17:08.778
Hello, I'm not going to be offended by being called fucking Barney.
00:17:09.138 --> 00:17:12.105
Yes, that's kind of where I come from.
00:17:12.105 --> 00:17:14.537
I would do burlesque as a whale.
00:17:14.537 --> 00:17:16.601
How many times have we been called whales?
00:17:17.222 --> 00:17:17.884
Right.
00:17:18.705 --> 00:17:19.907
I wanted to be a bus once.
00:17:19.907 --> 00:17:28.297
I just never did that show Hippoo, it's like yeah, narwhal narwhal barney's like that's badass.
00:17:28.297 --> 00:17:29.381
My favorite color is purple.
00:17:29.602 --> 00:17:37.771
I would do barney oh it turns out, according to the trolls, that all fat women love purple, so just get on it, y'all do you think that's?
00:17:37.872 --> 00:17:38.615
do we all love purple?
00:17:38.615 --> 00:17:38.875
Here?
00:17:39.396 --> 00:17:40.199
yeah, I love purple.
00:17:40.199 --> 00:17:43.125
Yeah, I love every color I'm wearing rainbow bright.
00:17:43.165 --> 00:17:44.387
so I mean I have purple hair.
00:17:45.049 --> 00:17:46.357
Yeah, and they also were real.
00:17:46.357 --> 00:17:50.030
If you don't have natural color hair, you're probably extremely liberal.
00:17:50.973 --> 00:17:53.162
Oh yeah, I mean, I had purple hair for a decade.
00:17:53.162 --> 00:17:55.923
Yes, I'd still have it if I didn't lose all my hair.
00:17:56.194 --> 00:17:59.224
Oh yeah with the cancer, yeah yeah.
00:17:59.224 --> 00:18:01.739
How long ago was your cancer diagnosis?
00:18:03.061 --> 00:18:06.308
So I finished chemo two years ago.
00:18:06.308 --> 00:18:09.079
So I was diagnosed like three years ago.