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Psychic, Spicy, Fierce Fatty: A Grim Guide
Psychic, Spicy, Fierce Fatty: A Grim Guide
Send us a text Ever wondered how reclaiming the word "fat" can become a badge of pride and empowerment? Our latest episode of Big Sexy Chat…
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Sept. 12, 2024

Psychic, Spicy, Fierce Fatty: A Grim Guide

Psychic, Spicy, Fierce Fatty: A Grim Guide

Send us a text

Ever wondered how reclaiming the word "fat" can become a badge of pride and empowerment? Our latest episode of Big Sexy Chat welcomes Grim, a multifaceted powerhouse and celebrated figure in the fat-positive community. Join us as Grim takes us through her eclectic journey from retail management to becoming a spicy model, psychic death doula, and burlesque performer. Discover how she built a significant following on platforms like OnlyFans and created a welcoming community with her weekly $10 tarot readings that celebrate fierce fat positivity and diversity.

Grim opens up about her transition from stand-up comedy to burlesque, finding confidence and joy in performances despite societal challenges. From whimsical acts like Grimace to Alice Cooper, her journey is filled with resilience and creativity. We'll also hear the harrowing tale of her battle with cancer and the medical fat phobia she faced, showcasing her perseverance and spirit in the face of adversity. The conversation then delves into the reclaiming of the word "fat," transforming it from a hurtful term to a badge of pride that empowers her and others.

The episode doesn't stop there; we touch on Grim's multifaceted career in holistic and psychic practices, including her roles as a death and sex doula. We explore the frustrations of dealing with societal fat phobia and celebrate body confidence with a lighthearted segment on sex and powerful tools like the Hitachi wand. Don't miss this vibrant and inspiring conversation, and be sure to connect with us on Big Sexy Chat across all social media platforms. Thank you for being part of our community!

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Chapters

00:00 - Empowerment Through Fat Positivity and Diversity

14:12 - Surviving Neglect in Medical System

24:56 - Navigating Identity and Psychic Abilities

34:53 - Challenging Fat Phobia in Society

49:31 - Connecting With Big Sexy Chat

Transcript
WEBVTT

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On this episode of Big Sexy Chat, crystal and Murph are joined by a grim of all trades, the Griminator.

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She's a cancer survivor, spicy model, psychic death doula and all-around fantastic fatty.

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So settle in and prepare yourself for a show that's nothing short of a vision of fierce fat positivity.

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Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat.

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I'm Crystal, I'm Murph.

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We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month.

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We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community, cannabis, cbd you name it.

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We're going to talk about it.

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We are very excited to have you a part of our community.

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Welcome and enjoy.

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Hi everybody, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat.

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I'm so excited to be here today.

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We have a special guest and I want to just remind everybody that we have this wonderful person in the background doing all the editing and the recording.

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That's Ashley.

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She's not here on the show today, but we like to give her a little acknowledgement because she works really hard for us.

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So thank you, ashley.

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Golf clap and of course, I'm here with Merv, and we have an extra special guest today.

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Her name is Grim, that's what she goes by.

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She's a cancer survivor, so I'm a cancer survivor as well.

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A fat psychic slut.

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I love that.

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You do burlesque.

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You have a special, special, extra special vr shoot.

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You read tarot, you do all kinds of things.

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You're, you're like a one woman company I, I, literally am you are so welcome.

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Welcome to big sexy chat.

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Welcome to our fat community.

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We love to have anybody who identifies as fat on our show, because we do too, so thank you uh, thank you for having me super excited.

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I just had to see the word fat and I was in, so yay, we are excited to have you.

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It's been.

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Uh see, I learned about grim probably about a year ago because my husband sent me, um, a text message and he was like, you got to check out this profile on instagram and I was like, oh my god, like this profile on Instagram.

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And I was like, oh my God, like this, this woman is the embodiment of like every fun thing I want to be, like I yes, I have to follow.

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And then, um, you started doing, uh, well, I think you had been doing, but you were doing $10 tarot on Thursdays on your live, and I just always find tarot super interesting and fun and, um, the way that you talk and your energy like I was just like this is so great.

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So now it's like a regular thing for us.

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Like, on Thursday nights, we hang out and we put uh Grimm on the tv.

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We, you know, do this the cast from the phone to the tv and and get to watch you on there, and it's been.

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It's a nice little community that you've built too, so it's a lot of fun.

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Murph, I'm trying to imagine the pumpkins on your big screen tv right.

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James must be like when I said tv, I was like, oh, that's an experience that I wasn't I love it.

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I love it if you uh are only listening and not getting a visual.

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You need to find the visual format of this episode.

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Grim has on a corset, a velvet corset that is like this beautiful auburn, like orangey it looks like it's ombre, almost I don't know if it is, but it's this gorgeous corset that's like got you know around her gigantic gorgeous boobs.

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It's fantastic.

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I was like just keep going.

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Yeah, I'm from.

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It's incredible.

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I could.

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I probably could sit here for, yeah, half an hour describing your boobs wanted to give the the podcast viewers a little something you know that's right.

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So tell us about you, because Crystal said you have such an eclectic work history, different professions, different things that you do.

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Tell us about it.

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Yeah, I have a bit.

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I've always been like that.

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I always do everything.

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You know, I'm a Gemini, as they say, and I feel like when I say I do that many things, people are like, yeah, ok, and I'm like, no, I, I literally do all of those things.

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So I'm, I'm a, I'm a tired girl, but I like, I like, um, functioning at this rate of anxiety, um, but I, uh, I did retail for like 17 years, so I was a retail manager and I hated it.

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But as, as I got older, I did all of these things and had a full-time retail job at the same time and I knew the goal was to stop doing retail.

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I didn't want to do it anymore, so I did it here.

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I am.

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So tell, tell us, like I know, I know we're missing things just from the profile of the things that we've listed, like what is it that you're currently doing?

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And like the process of how you kind of led from one to the other.

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Oh god, oh, process, what's that?

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So I think so.

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I started with modeling because I did theater and acting, so I needed headshots and I was like, oh, it'd be really fun to have a fun photo shoot.

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That'd be silly.

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So we did my headshots and then I did some lingerie.

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My man had a photography degree and I at this time had no self-esteem.

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So when I looked at the photos I looked much better than I thought I did.

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So I started doing that a lot and then I ended up gaining a following and I realized like, oh, people like want to see me like that's new and that and that kind of led a very long road into an only fans kind of level.

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You know what I mean?

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I never liked myself physically until I started modeling.

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I was like maybe 25, starting self-love.

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Not only do they want to see you, they want to pay to see you.

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Yes, isn't that so empowering.

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Isn't that crazy.

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I'll be on the couch in a big t-shirt eating cinnamon chips with no makeup on, and I'll be like people paid.

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Look at me, Wow, it's so jarring yeah.

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Gotta remind myself.

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You started out not feeling confident about yourself.

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So then you start to see these pictures of yourself, you start to gain a following.

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How did that then kind of blow up into so much more?

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I feel like it's a slow burn, but I've been doing this before.

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Onlyfans was a thing.

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Okay, like we used to have to do this manually, like find people on the internet, ask them like how old are you, do you have an ID, do you want this?

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This?

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We did it literally the manual way.

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So I I started it because people asked for it.

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Period, uh, old things like only fans, loyal fans.

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Those websites just make it easier, you know, and, and you know, make me do my taxes different.

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But but people were asking for it and the requests get crazier the longer I'm in the industry, which I love yeah, and do you do?

00:07:04.644 --> 00:07:06.831
you do like dominatrix type stuff?

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too, I do.

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I'm actually going to do more of that this year.

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Nice yeah, because I'm very picky with who I work with.

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Yeah, you might go listen to our podcast of one of my best friends.

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She's a pro dom here in San Jose.

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We interviewed her a couple of years ago and it was really great.

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We interviewed her a couple of years ago and it was really great, and it's one of our very popular podcasts.

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but she makes bank and she should.

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Sometimes people will pay her and I've helped with this to tickle them, oh yeah.

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And then people will pay her, like for three hours, to just lick her toes.

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And she just puts her table out, gets her computer out, writes her thank you notes, while they worship her feet for three hours fifteen hundred dollars.

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Yeah, they, they should they're paying to be in her presence absolutely.

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It's absolutely.

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Yeah, oh, I know and like think of what that does for your confidence oh yeah yeah, not that we're confident all the time, of course not what I'm saying.

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We're human.

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But you get it like I have to remind, like when I am having a rough week or whatnot with self-image, I do remind myself yeah, like someone would pay to see me like just waking up.

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Oh yeah, exactly exactly and they probably would pay more for, even like the gross stuff of like they do eating the crusties out of my eyes and sitting down to go pee and getting to what like yeah, I sell a lot of anything that comes off your body.

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Yes, like they'll, they'll buy.

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Um, the only thing about uh, the only fans wave, I'll call it.

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It made it much more acceptable to talk about my work, which I love, but it also made every a lot of prices have to go down.

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Um, if you want to be on that kind of website, nobody's paying what they used to pay.

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Onlyfans has brought like a whole new clientele where they're like cool, can I have everything you've ever done for $5?

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Like that mentality and it's like no.

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That's the one thing I don't like about how popular this has become.

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May I interject just two quick things.

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I used to own a shop of lingerie just for fat women or fat people, anybody over the size 14.

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And sometimes people would tell me I feel so ugly, I feel so disgusted and I would ask them do you think I'm disgusting?

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They're like, oh my God, you're so beautiful.

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I'm like so are you.

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So sometimes you just have to be reminded and you know, like get somebody, shake somebody out of their coma, that they're in.

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They're so sure that they're too fat to do whatever it is I'm like.

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Do you we have the same body?

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Do you think I'm gross?

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oh, my god, no like so when I was a retail manager of multiple plus size stores.

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So I that my whole career was dealing with women that didn't like what they looked like, and it got to the point where I was so sick of hearing it that that that almost helped me.

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Like myself too.

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I'm like like I was maybe 28 at the time and I'm helping a 50 year old woman who still doesn't like her arms, still won't wear that, because her mom will think X, y and Z.

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And I'm like you're 50, 60 years old, you're still thinking that way because it's not going to be me.

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It's absolutely not going to be me.

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Hashtag big big arms, no harm.

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That's literally where the hashtag came from.

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Yeah, my hashtag is sex, not diets.

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The last thing I was just going to say is that when I had my boutique, we had the same problem you have with instagram when you show too much flesh, the bots assume it's porn, correct you're?

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having that's a whole conversation, because I see nude people and on instagram and they're not getting taken down, so that's all flesh.

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And I feel like instagram was like oh well, bigger bodies have more skin and I'm like me in a bikini.

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Isn't equating to the girl with the close-up naked photo, right?

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I don't understand that.

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And they're just like oh the ai can't figure it out, right?

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it has nothing to do with bias of the people that actually create the algorithm of course of course not.

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No, no, yeah, so you're in the modeling.

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You're getting things going with the OnlyFans.

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That's now led to some different shoots with different production companies.

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I heard that you got to record something to do with virtual reality.

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Tell us more about that.

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Vr was so cool.

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So I um, a blush erotica hired me to do a vr like a pov.

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It was just me, I wasn't with someone else in a scene and, um, they're, actually, they're sponsoring me to go to exotica in new jersey october 27, 28.

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So I will be in exotica Jersey.

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That's the next thing that's happening.

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They made it so easy.

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So before I even showed up because I'm an old millennial, I don't know how VR works so before I showed up, they sent me everything.

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They're like these are the shots of the angles we're going to do.

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You get to break between each one when you're.

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When you think you're done, just freeze and we'll stop the camera.

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I was told everything before I even showed up.

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It was way easier than I expected and especially I have a bachelor's in film.

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So, oh, I have a list of shots to do.

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Call it a day, and it's funny, we're already curvy.

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But in VR, to watch the POV, I'm like this is why people drool over us.

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It was nice to be able to watch it and see how people feel when they have all of this coming at them and I'm like, oh, I get it.

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I get it now.

00:12:42.100 --> 00:12:43.644
It makes you want to reach out and touch.

00:12:43.644 --> 00:12:44.927
For sure, yes.

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Oh, it was so cool.

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They were a lot of fun.

00:12:48.379 --> 00:12:54.052
Yeah, so are they releasing that around the time that you're going to Exotica?

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or is that?

00:12:55.659 --> 00:12:56.408
Yeah, oh, it's already out.

00:12:56.408 --> 00:12:57.620
Oh yeah, it's out on their website.

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Oh okay, and you said it's Blush Erotica.

00:13:01.605 --> 00:13:01.886
Okay.

00:13:02.246 --> 00:13:12.692
They film with our friend Amazon Amanda she's actually going to be at Exotica too, so maybe we can get the two of you connected, because she's a lot of fun too.

00:13:12.692 --> 00:13:14.845
I think you'd enjoy hanging out with her.

00:13:14.884 --> 00:13:15.365
Yeah, of course.

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Yeah, there's so many people are at Exotica.

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It's going to be a good time, yeah.

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It'll be so fun.

00:13:19.842 --> 00:13:22.647
And, crystal, I think you're trying to say something right now.

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I was just saying that I believe that Blush website is blusheroticaVRcom.

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Fantastic.

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So if you want to see those pumpkin corset boobs in full VR, it's wild.

00:13:38.474 --> 00:13:44.827
So you've done this modeling, you've done shoots, burlesque.

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Tell us about burlesque, oh my god, and you have a a very purple, uh, friendly, uh person.

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I think everybody needs to know that you do I?

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so, oh, so I did.

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I've done stand-up comedy.

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That's what I did first and, and I used to go to burlesque shows and, like wish, going to burlesque shows almost made me depressed because I wasn't doing it and I thought that I couldn't.

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So I'm only mentioning comedy first, because all my burlesque is funny.

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So I also, I'm hypermobile, I have fibromyalgia, so I'm in pain 24-7.

00:14:22.945 --> 00:14:26.041
So I literally thought this wasn't a thing I could do.

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And I did a burlesque class years ago and after I had cancer, my friends produced an all-fat burlesque show and I went to it.

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Infatuation in, I think it's Cambridge, and it blew, blew my mind, first of all because everybody was fat, but secondly I was like I mean, I, I don't have to be like J-Lo dancing on this stage, like I was like I can move, like this, this is something I can do.

00:14:57.453 --> 00:15:06.904
And, um, my, so my friend gave me like a beginner show, like the July following after that and that's when I did Grimace.

00:15:06.904 --> 00:15:14.049
And the funny part is so my last name is Grima, that literally is my name, my last name's Grim up.

00:15:14.049 --> 00:15:17.192
So in March I was like I'm going to do Grimace.

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It's going to be so stupid.

00:15:18.152 --> 00:15:35.921
And in June Grimace came back in McDonald's.

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People thought I was planning it.

00:15:36.621 --> 00:15:40.746
I picked Grimace before he came back and it lined up with the shake coming out his birthday.

00:15:40.746 --> 00:15:43.431
I mean I was like what am I a psychic?

00:15:43.431 --> 00:15:47.475
So I've done Grimace twice.

00:15:47.475 --> 00:15:53.673
And the cool part is is that the following spring after that I was on infatuation doing Grimace.

00:15:55.381 --> 00:15:56.505
That's so interesting.

00:15:56.505 --> 00:15:57.669
It's like meta right.

00:15:59.001 --> 00:16:05.167
Yes, it was so cool, I just had a show last Wednesday, this Wednesday, how often are you, uh, performing?

00:16:05.167 --> 00:16:08.809
I would say I do so much that I do about me.

00:16:08.809 --> 00:16:13.764
I've done like five shows a year, five to seven shows a year, um, but they're all different.

00:16:13.764 --> 00:16:15.107
So I was just um.

00:16:15.107 --> 00:16:17.273
Grimace isn't the only goofy thing I've done.

00:16:17.273 --> 00:16:23.668
I was crusty the clown, um, I was alice cooper with the way's World, alice Cooper.

00:16:24.350 --> 00:16:25.251
Yeah, yeah.

00:16:25.731 --> 00:16:27.235
And I was you loved Frankenstein.

00:16:27.235 --> 00:16:59.375
Yes, I came out with like Wayne's World puppets at first, and then I was Alice Cooper, and then the last Wednesday I did like a bimbo big boob lady, but like the, the fake boobs I put on were like eight feet across, so that was really fun so like everything's stupid, I love stupid that's fantastic um I have another purple idea for you that's stupid, which is barney and oh my god, people try to um, the trolls try to talk shit about me.

00:16:59.416 --> 00:17:01.061
Because I love purple, they always want to call me barney.

00:17:01.061 --> 00:17:03.118
I'm like everybody fucking loves barney, you idiot.

00:17:03.118 --> 00:17:04.383
Like everybody loves barney.

00:17:04.383 --> 00:17:05.929
I love love you, you love me.

00:17:05.929 --> 00:17:08.778
Hello, I'm not going to be offended by being called fucking Barney.

00:17:09.138 --> 00:17:12.105
Yes, that's kind of where I come from.

00:17:12.105 --> 00:17:14.537
I would do burlesque as a whale.

00:17:14.537 --> 00:17:16.601
How many times have we been called whales?

00:17:17.222 --> 00:17:17.884
Right.

00:17:18.705 --> 00:17:19.907
I wanted to be a bus once.

00:17:19.907 --> 00:17:28.297
I just never did that show Hippoo, it's like yeah, narwhal narwhal barney's like that's badass.

00:17:28.297 --> 00:17:29.381
My favorite color is purple.

00:17:29.602 --> 00:17:37.771
I would do barney oh it turns out, according to the trolls, that all fat women love purple, so just get on it, y'all do you think that's?

00:17:37.872 --> 00:17:38.615
do we all love purple?

00:17:38.615 --> 00:17:38.875
Here?

00:17:39.396 --> 00:17:40.199
yeah, I love purple.

00:17:40.199 --> 00:17:43.125
Yeah, I love every color I'm wearing rainbow bright.

00:17:43.165 --> 00:17:44.387
so I mean I have purple hair.

00:17:45.049 --> 00:17:46.357
Yeah, and they also were real.

00:17:46.357 --> 00:17:50.030
If you don't have natural color hair, you're probably extremely liberal.

00:17:50.973 --> 00:17:53.162
Oh yeah, I mean, I had purple hair for a decade.

00:17:53.162 --> 00:17:55.923
Yes, I'd still have it if I didn't lose all my hair.

00:17:56.194 --> 00:17:59.224
Oh yeah with the cancer, yeah yeah.

00:17:59.224 --> 00:18:01.739
How long ago was your cancer diagnosis?

00:18:03.061 --> 00:18:06.308
So I finished chemo two years ago.

00:18:06.308 --> 00:18:09.079
So I was diagnosed like three years ago.

00:18:10.022 --> 00:18:11.326
Very cool, you are a survivor.

00:18:11.326 --> 00:18:11.846
That's awesome.

00:18:12.675 --> 00:18:15.163
I had to be monitored for three more years.

00:18:16.246 --> 00:18:21.887
Yeah, did you experience medical fat phobia when leading up to it?

00:18:21.887 --> 00:18:22.946
I mean, was it kind of like I should be dead?

00:18:22.917 --> 00:18:24.692
Yeah, so they ignored it and thought, well, leading up to it, I mean, was it kind of like I should be?

00:18:24.663 --> 00:18:25.455
dead yeah.

00:18:25.455 --> 00:18:29.145
So, they ignored it and thought, well, I'll just lose weight.

00:18:29.515 --> 00:18:31.362
They ignored it for eight months.

00:18:31.362 --> 00:18:39.509
Well, first of all, I mean I've had medical fat phobia since I was out the womb so I knew something was wrong.

00:18:39.509 --> 00:18:40.353
I was in a lot of pain.

00:18:40.353 --> 00:18:42.518
I was working and modeling.

00:18:42.518 --> 00:18:43.599
I couldn't keep food down.

00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:44.662
I had no appetite.

00:18:44.662 --> 00:18:45.223
I was in a lot of pain.

00:18:45.223 --> 00:18:45.785
I was working and modeling.

00:18:45.785 --> 00:18:46.425
I couldn't keep food down.

00:18:46.425 --> 00:18:47.468
I had no appetite.

00:18:47.468 --> 00:18:48.269
I was losing a lot of weight.

00:18:48.269 --> 00:18:51.596
My whole torso hurt so I couldn't do as many poses as usual.

00:18:52.076 --> 00:18:58.027
So I went between three doctors like the gastro, the primary, the ER.

00:18:58.027 --> 00:19:04.207
Everybody was like just work out, work out more, you're losing weight, that's good.

00:19:04.207 --> 00:19:11.317
And I was like I'm like no, I was like I'm going to be back here in two weeks and I'm going to tell you the same thing.

00:19:11.317 --> 00:19:13.865
I was like I was getting vertigo, I was having panic attacks.

00:19:13.865 --> 00:19:16.701
I knew something was wrong with an organ.

00:19:16.701 --> 00:19:19.467
Because I'm a Reiki master, I knew it was an organ issue.

00:19:19.467 --> 00:19:27.757
I could kind of see it in a sense.

00:19:27.777 --> 00:19:31.125
So every two weeks I went back to my gastro or my primary and they kept telling me it's because I'm overweight.

00:19:31.125 --> 00:19:37.140
So I think it took like three months when I walked in and I asked for imaging.

00:19:37.140 --> 00:19:41.635
Even after the imaging she's like you have a spot on your liver.

00:19:41.635 --> 00:19:42.857
That can be normal.

00:19:42.857 --> 00:19:46.664
So I asked for an MRI because she didn't want to give me one.

00:19:46.664 --> 00:19:49.638
Um, and I was like, well, put it in my chart.

00:19:49.638 --> 00:19:52.474
If you don't want to give me one, then say that you'd said no to my MRI.

00:19:52.474 --> 00:19:55.377
And then she's like, oh well, now we can get an MRI.

00:19:56.118 --> 00:19:57.099
It's the best tactic.

00:19:58.182 --> 00:20:01.365
Yeah, um, I help a lot of people with their doctor's appointments.

00:20:01.365 --> 00:20:02.787
Now it's so cool.

00:20:02.787 --> 00:20:05.150
Where was I Rewind?

00:20:05.150 --> 00:20:24.923
So my gastro called me personally and that's when I was like uh-oh, and she's like you have a massive tumor and you have to get to a surgeon, and the soonest surgeon was like two months out, so they just wanted to cut it out.

00:20:26.135 --> 00:20:27.481
And I met the surgeon.

00:20:27.481 --> 00:20:30.819
She said I was like I keep losing weight, like what am I supposed to do?

00:20:30.819 --> 00:20:32.461
And she's like well, at least you're losing weight.

00:20:32.461 --> 00:20:38.126
And I said to her I'm like I'm ill and you think it's good that I'm losing weight.

00:20:38.126 --> 00:20:39.240
And she just didn't say anything.

00:20:42.154 --> 00:20:53.265
So she kind of scheduled me for the spring and I had some questions because I've never had surgery and they cut me open from here to here, the hockey stick.

00:20:53.265 --> 00:20:57.997
It's like really the 35 stitches this way, and so that was scary.

00:20:57.997 --> 00:21:01.840
So I asked a few questions and she said you know what?

00:21:01.840 --> 00:21:03.883
Why don't you get a second opinion if you have so many questions?

00:21:03.883 --> 00:21:10.249
Wow, so I did in Boston, we'll upgrade.

00:21:10.249 --> 00:21:14.156
And they were like okay, what did the biopsy say?

00:21:14.156 --> 00:21:20.460
I'm like they didn't give me one, so that she was like baffled that they didn't even test it yet, so it took.

00:21:20.460 --> 00:21:23.166
This is like eight months long before they even biopsied me.

00:21:23.166 --> 00:21:25.036
Yet so it took.

00:21:25.036 --> 00:21:26.480
This is like eight months long before they even biopsied me.

00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:27.422
And then we found out it was cancer.

00:21:27.422 --> 00:21:35.681
My cancer usually kills people within six to 12 months, so I think I was almost to stage three by the time I was open Almost.

00:21:35.681 --> 00:21:38.705
Yeah, it's just amazing.

00:21:38.747 --> 00:21:45.626
The neglect that happens to folks that have extra fat on their bodies, like it's just.

00:21:47.278 --> 00:21:48.384
And I was progressive.

00:21:48.384 --> 00:21:52.566
I was like, really I was pushy and it still took that long.

00:21:52.566 --> 00:22:03.295
When she found, when the first doctor found, the mass, she's like I'm calling the surgeon myself, I know her, I'm going to get you in there, and four days go by I didn't hear from the surgeon.

00:22:03.295 --> 00:22:08.345
So I called her back and the receptionist was like I have no idea what you're talking about.

00:22:09.335 --> 00:22:11.019
Medical fat phobia kills people.

00:22:11.019 --> 00:22:12.945
People die because of their bullshit.

00:22:14.137 --> 00:22:15.340
And that's very true.

00:22:15.340 --> 00:22:22.261
And I lived that because I shouldn't be here, right, and I learned that with every doctor I had to call, I'd wait three days.

00:22:22.261 --> 00:22:23.644
Call them, they didn't do anything.

00:22:23.644 --> 00:22:25.807
They didn't send that in, they didn't do this, this and this.

00:22:25.807 --> 00:22:34.005
They didn't schedule that All the offices, any of them I had to call and make sure, yeah, and imagine if you didn't have that kind of advocacy for yourself.

00:22:34.414 --> 00:22:35.718
Exactly, I don't know.

00:22:35.817 --> 00:22:36.259
I mean people.

00:22:36.259 --> 00:22:38.865
They must be dying Period.

00:22:38.865 --> 00:22:42.103
Yeah yeah, so it was not fun.

00:23:00.055 --> 00:23:00.553
Yeah, so it was not fun.

00:23:00.553 --> 00:23:02.578
Yeah, there are some people out there doing the hard work doing talks, like Regan Chastain.

00:23:02.578 --> 00:23:03.969
She's getting invited to medical schools.

00:23:03.969 --> 00:23:06.494
She had learned that they only get 12 hours of training for fat bodies the whole time they're in medical school.

00:23:06.494 --> 00:23:07.124
So she's trying to go out to the different medical schools.

00:23:07.124 --> 00:23:13.189
So she gets invited by them and goes and talks to them and tells them how dangerous medical fat phobia is and how dangerous it is to always prescribe a fucking diet which we know only works about 3% of the time.

00:23:13.189 --> 00:23:16.926
So I was just asking the question the other day wouldn't that be like malpractice?

00:23:16.926 --> 00:23:24.876
If you recommend something that only works 3% of the time that doesn't fly, you're telling people that they're fat though percent of the time that doesn't fly it doesn't.

00:23:24.896 --> 00:23:34.781
If you're telling people that they're fat though, and it's okay, it's true, you know, I mean I always I say I use this, I'm not, I'm not afraid to go to any doctor now, because whatever they tell me, I all.

00:23:34.781 --> 00:23:39.137
If there is something fat phobic, I just say, okay, if I'm thin, what would you tell me?

00:23:39.137 --> 00:23:44.978
I used to get anxiety seeing a new doctor and now I'm like, oh, what are they going to tell me?

00:23:44.978 --> 00:23:45.700
They're working for me.

00:23:46.162 --> 00:23:51.931
So how do you feel like you got to that point, like dying yeah.

00:23:53.459 --> 00:23:54.722
Yeah, that would be it.

00:23:54.722 --> 00:23:55.925
I mean people.

00:23:55.925 --> 00:24:05.243
I was very open about my journey because I knew that it could be, it could be happening to someone else right now, but also I think I was open with it.

00:24:05.243 --> 00:24:06.942
But people only saw about 10% of it.

00:24:06.942 --> 00:24:12.201
Me and my father had cancer at the same time I'm bringing him to his appointments, I'm doing this, this and this.

00:24:12.201 --> 00:24:14.006
I'm going through it at the same time.

00:24:14.006 --> 00:24:16.676
I've still worked.

00:24:16.676 --> 00:24:20.362
I took like a month to heal.

00:24:20.362 --> 00:24:21.983
I still was only halfway healed.

00:24:21.983 --> 00:24:22.884
I had to get back to work.

00:24:23.766 --> 00:24:24.047
Krim?

00:24:24.047 --> 00:24:25.528
When did you come out as fat?

00:24:25.528 --> 00:24:27.351
When did you decide that was the word you wanted to use?

00:24:29.439 --> 00:24:34.229
to identify yourself when I wanted to use it and not be called it because it started early.

00:24:35.176 --> 00:24:37.000
Yeah, for all of us People gave me that word.

00:24:38.805 --> 00:24:40.488
Oh gosh, probably not that long ago.

00:24:41.035 --> 00:24:42.259
You took it on as your.

00:24:42.259 --> 00:24:43.942
That's how you identify.

00:24:43.982 --> 00:24:45.186
Maybe my late 20s.

00:24:45.186 --> 00:24:46.076
I'm 36.

00:24:46.076 --> 00:24:47.640
Okay, maybe my late 20s.

00:24:47.980 --> 00:24:48.843
So you're like 10 years.

00:24:48.843 --> 00:24:49.483
That's great.

00:24:49.483 --> 00:24:54.553
Yeah, I wish people, I wish everybody would embrace that word, because then you take the sting out of it.

00:24:54.553 --> 00:24:56.759
When somebody calls you that, you're like, yeah, no, shit, dude.

00:24:57.603 --> 00:25:05.366
And people are so surprised I'm like this is not the first time marginalized people have reclaimed a word right, exactly, yeah it's not rocket science here.

00:25:05.366 --> 00:25:13.382
And when people like, oh, you're not fat, I'm like, I literally am you're beautiful, I'm both bitch yeah, I'm like.

00:25:13.382 --> 00:25:22.477
I'm like you said it when I wasn't in the room and now it's weird because I said it right okay, I could see my friends, or sometimes they know I love that word and they try to use it.

00:25:22.497 --> 00:25:25.306
But I can see sometimes they're a little trepidatious about it.

00:25:25.306 --> 00:25:27.603
They're like fat you know, just say it.

00:25:27.603 --> 00:25:31.144
I mean, there's no denying I'm a fat human.

00:25:31.144 --> 00:25:33.401
I don't mind that word, I love it.

00:25:33.401 --> 00:25:34.324
In fact I own it.

00:25:34.324 --> 00:25:36.780
But I can see they're nervous about saying it.

00:25:36.780 --> 00:25:38.025
Are they thin?

00:25:39.015 --> 00:25:48.714
Okay, yeah, I would say to thin people say fat babe, put a sweet thing on it.

00:25:48.714 --> 00:25:50.717
Gorgeous fat girl, I love it.

00:25:50.717 --> 00:25:54.080
Put it with a compliment and maybe they'll be more comfortable with it.

00:25:55.102 --> 00:25:56.804
Yeah, I like that approach.

00:25:57.105 --> 00:25:57.925
Me too, I love that.

00:25:58.767 --> 00:26:00.087
So tell us a bit about.

00:26:00.087 --> 00:26:05.795
You said what am I psychic and I don't know.

00:26:05.795 --> 00:26:11.944
Do you have any psychic abilities or any fun tarot?

00:26:11.944 --> 00:26:12.846
You said Reiki.

00:26:12.846 --> 00:26:17.200
I mean it just sounds like you're, it sounds like you've just done everything.

00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:19.285
Grim, that's the coolest part of like.

00:26:19.285 --> 00:26:22.198
Getting to talk to you is like oh yeah, I've tried that.

00:26:22.378 --> 00:26:23.641
Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:26:23.721 --> 00:26:30.296
Yeah, I have a lot of oh if we go into like psychic or holistic business like whoa.

00:26:30.296 --> 00:26:31.598
Yeah, I'm a tower reader.

00:26:31.598 --> 00:26:32.561
I am clairvoyant.

00:26:32.561 --> 00:26:34.287
I do have medium tendencies.

00:26:34.287 --> 00:26:37.898
I just haven't done it alone yet Cause it freaks me out.

00:26:37.898 --> 00:26:40.301
I'm a death certified death doula.

00:26:40.301 --> 00:26:40.701
I can be.

00:26:40.701 --> 00:26:41.522
I'm a sex doula.

00:26:41.522 --> 00:26:43.265
I've been in the sex industry a really long time.

00:26:43.265 --> 00:26:44.787
I'm a Reiki master.

00:26:44.946 --> 00:26:52.116
I mean, if I'm going to do something, I want to be doing it, so I don't half-ass stuff.

00:26:52.116 --> 00:27:00.801
So when I started charging, like making tarot my business, I was like, well, that's kind of connected to these things, so I better know these things in case it comes up.

00:27:00.801 --> 00:27:04.248
That's just how I function or how I think.

00:27:04.248 --> 00:27:13.017
And, um, oh, tarot, that kind of came out of nowhere, to be honest with you, because I wasn't allowed to talk about that stuff growing up.

00:27:13.017 --> 00:27:15.945
Um, interesting, why weren't you allowed to talk about it?

00:27:15.945 --> 00:27:19.876
So I'm first generation america, I'm first generation italian.

00:27:19.876 --> 00:27:29.173
So, um, daughter of immigrants and very strict Roman Catholic, if you want to live here, you're going to church more than once a week.

00:27:29.173 --> 00:27:31.961
Sometimes I was an altar server till I was 18.

00:27:31.961 --> 00:27:34.467
I didn't miss church till I was probably 20.

00:27:34.467 --> 00:27:36.116
I mean it was.

00:27:36.878 --> 00:27:47.755
Yeah, I grew up with that, like my mom, speaking in tongues you know, like her mom having prophetic dreams, but I was always told it was a Jesus thing and it's.

00:27:47.755 --> 00:27:54.429
Just until I moved out of that house and that environment I'm like, oh, that's what all that stuff was.

00:27:55.414 --> 00:27:58.482
When you think back, what age were you at when you started to think?

00:27:58.482 --> 00:28:00.428
Is there something else going on here for me?

00:28:01.234 --> 00:28:05.184
I always thought it was religious, until probably mid-20s.

00:28:05.886 --> 00:28:06.536
It didn't click.

00:28:06.536 --> 00:28:10.450
So when I moved out, I was able to get into whatever I wanted to.

00:28:10.450 --> 00:28:17.414
I went to metaphysical shops, I took classes, I learned about this, this and this and crystals, and someone gifted me a deck.

00:28:17.414 --> 00:28:20.338
And the origin of tarot is Italian.

00:28:20.338 --> 00:28:30.971
It's tarot, it's where it originated, so maybe that's why I don't know if that's why I'm so I picked it up so easily something in my DNA, but it took me a minute.

00:28:31.115 --> 00:28:35.683
I literally thought my mom, speaking in tongues, was normal until like 28.

00:28:35.683 --> 00:28:37.848
Like I had like a moment.

00:28:37.848 --> 00:28:41.000
I was like, oh my God, it's always been like this.

00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:46.736
It just had a different title and I didn't talk to her for a very long time.

00:28:46.736 --> 00:28:55.741
But like a couple of years ago, like she called me once and she's like I had a dream that these two people are back together.

00:28:55.741 --> 00:29:01.625
I don't know and I'm like that's kind of weird, because they just told me they were like an hour ago.

00:29:01.625 --> 00:29:11.096
And she's like my mom was like that too and I'm over here like, yeah, I know, I'm aware it's called being psychic, but I'm not gonna say I can't tell her that.

00:29:11.096 --> 00:29:13.340
Right, this is the trump, mom.

00:29:13.520 --> 00:29:20.281
Remember if that ties that together for you how does the rest of your family see that?

00:29:21.305 --> 00:29:23.810
oh, I have three siblings and they, they're pretty cool.

00:29:23.810 --> 00:29:25.275
Yeah, we're all pretty.

00:29:25.275 --> 00:29:32.256
Like we know me and my sister are super weird and my brothers are scientists, but like we understand the weirdness.

00:29:32.256 --> 00:29:34.119
Uh, nobody judges me.

00:29:34.119 --> 00:29:35.843
My sister-in-laws know what I do.

00:29:35.843 --> 00:29:36.925
They're super cool.

00:29:36.925 --> 00:29:41.663
Um, my dad doesn't ask questions, he's just he's just chilling.

00:29:41.823 --> 00:29:46.919
My friend, my friend, the pro dom, they everybody knows nobody asks her any questions.

00:29:46.919 --> 00:29:59.938
And then sometimes when she has like family that's a little further away, like they're like they live a little further, they're not so close by when they come in they want to, like, they want to go into the playroom, they look in the closet and stuff and they don't ask any questions, just looking around they don't.

00:29:59.938 --> 00:30:01.118
I'm like why don't they ask questions?

00:30:01.480 --> 00:30:10.310
because you know they're all from like a midwest and yeah they're surprised that her husband lets her do it, you know oh yeah, that's my pet peeve.

00:30:10.310 --> 00:30:15.945
Yeah, let's, oh, so yeah it's crazy, yeah I don't nobody lets me do shit.

00:30:15.965 --> 00:30:23.358
I do what I want I just um, I mean, if you want to make money, people are going to find you have to let people find out, period, even.

00:30:23.358 --> 00:30:24.942
And and it is what it is, I don't care.

00:30:24.942 --> 00:30:34.026
But when I, when I started just modeling like normal runway modeling, I had an email from my auntie like do you need Jesus?

00:30:34.026 --> 00:30:38.881
Like you shouldn't be showing a fat body, like cause she's big, all my my aunties are big.

00:30:38.881 --> 00:30:40.963
She's like like that's what are you doing?

00:30:40.963 --> 00:30:43.086
Like do you need to come back to the church?

00:30:43.086 --> 00:30:44.869
And I was like I didn't even do anything yet.

00:30:44.869 --> 00:30:46.819
I don't know what she would say now.

00:30:46.859 --> 00:31:05.155
She probably wouldn't talk to me, but hey, neither does her daughter, but anyway, I love those family dynamics it breaks my heart because my aunties are all big and they were told not to show anything and they still think that way and it makes me sad and I'm not letting it happen.

00:31:05.155 --> 00:31:06.599
Another generation period.

00:31:07.280 --> 00:31:12.882
No matter how many black clothes I put on, no matter how much camouflage I put on, you can still tell I'm fat.

00:31:12.882 --> 00:31:18.981
So why not show off a little bit of it and it's interesting because they always tie it back to sex.

00:31:20.025 --> 00:31:24.675
It's almost like you think at first they're like fat body shouldn't be seen because it's gross.

00:31:24.675 --> 00:31:30.219
But really what they're saying, if you really listen, they're like what are men going to say to you?

00:31:30.219 --> 00:31:32.019
Why are you tempting men?

00:31:32.019 --> 00:31:33.421
I'm like, now I'm sexy.

00:31:33.421 --> 00:31:34.701
I thought it was gross.

00:31:34.701 --> 00:31:38.743
Now I'm too hot and I'm tempting men all of a sudden.

00:31:38.743 --> 00:31:39.825
Which is it?

00:31:39.825 --> 00:31:41.325
Am I gross or am I hot?

00:31:41.625 --> 00:31:41.905
Yeah.

00:31:42.145 --> 00:31:46.307
Hot Right and it doesn't matter what I'm wearing.

00:31:46.307 --> 00:31:50.590
I was 11 in a t-shirt the first time I was hit on, oh yeah.

00:31:51.151 --> 00:31:51.431
Same.

00:31:51.431 --> 00:31:54.813
When I look back sometimes at 20, I'm like, oh God I was so young.

00:31:54.813 --> 00:32:02.489
Men would drive by and say weird shit or be like jerking off as they're driving by.

00:32:02.489 --> 00:32:03.292
I'm a little fucking kid.

00:32:03.292 --> 00:32:08.615
I remember my friend's dad told me once that I had really nice legs, and I was like 12 years old.

00:32:08.615 --> 00:32:11.459
What the fuck is wrong with you.

00:32:11.459 --> 00:32:15.565
I felt so icky and, like this old guy just said, I have nice legs.

00:32:15.565 --> 00:32:17.106
I knew that was wrong.

00:32:17.106 --> 00:32:18.910
I don't know why, but I knew that was creepy.

00:32:21.335 --> 00:32:23.500
I knew it was wrong without anyone ever telling me yeah, yeah, same I.

00:32:23.500 --> 00:32:28.731
I don't know if we just a lot of girls have to be an adult so fast yeah, I did.

00:32:28.731 --> 00:32:33.989
I don't know yeah and I take care of my niece a lot and she's turning 10.

00:32:33.989 --> 00:32:36.757
You know her boobs are getting sore.

00:32:36.757 --> 00:32:37.318
That's happened.

00:32:37.318 --> 00:32:41.607
I'm like, if anybody even looks at this girl, wrong, right, because it's over.

00:32:42.195 --> 00:32:45.905
It's over for them I know you see my niece same thing.

00:32:45.905 --> 00:32:58.847
It's like you're just seeing this world develop around them while they're developing, and it's just like there's no bubble big enough to protect you in this process, like now yes, and I had I.

00:32:59.088 --> 00:33:06.692
I was this tall and a d cup by 11, so I had my period at nine and I had no guidance.

00:33:06.692 --> 00:33:11.463
My mom I didn't have a period talk, I didn't have a changing body talk, I didn't have a sex talk.

00:33:11.463 --> 00:33:12.747
I had nothing there.

00:33:12.747 --> 00:33:14.577
My mom was like pads are in the cabinet.

00:33:14.577 --> 00:33:18.425
So I think that might be why I'm hypersexual.

00:33:18.425 --> 00:33:22.521
Now I want to find out what didn't I know, what don't't people know.

00:33:22.521 --> 00:33:23.505
Shouldn't this?

00:33:23.505 --> 00:33:24.627
Shouldn't everybody know this?

00:33:24.627 --> 00:33:26.815
You know I did the 180.

00:33:27.756 --> 00:33:29.400
Good for you Own it.

00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:30.323
You're owning it again.

00:33:31.184 --> 00:33:35.488
You just got to do that Well and it's also setting a good example for your niece.

00:33:35.709 --> 00:33:41.022
Absolutely, oh hell yeah, oh, we nip it right in the bud, Cause she's, she's a, she's a beanpole.

00:33:41.022 --> 00:33:48.259
But she, when she was like five or six, she sat down and she's like my legs get fat when I sit down.

00:33:48.259 --> 00:33:50.723
I was like, no, um, that's normal.

00:33:50.723 --> 00:33:52.287
Everybody's like does that this?

00:33:52.287 --> 00:33:54.855
You know, that's not something that's bad, it's.

00:33:54.855 --> 00:33:58.967
I'm doing my best, you know she's lucky to have you.

00:34:07.015 --> 00:34:07.415
I, I love her so much.

00:34:07.415 --> 00:34:08.978
Are you ready to um for me to ask him about the old thin privilege bullshit?

00:34:08.978 --> 00:34:09.300
Yes, okay, okay.

00:34:09.300 --> 00:34:17.603
I saw you having a discussion we'll just call a discussion about that I think on your ig, where people don't believe that there's such thing as thin privilege.

00:34:17.603 --> 00:34:19.775
What do you have to say about that?

00:34:20.217 --> 00:34:20.539
I was.

00:34:20.539 --> 00:34:27.880
I woke up so angry that, like so angry that when I went to breakfast later I was still mad and I apologize to the waitress.

00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:30.666
I woke up and read the DMs.

00:34:30.666 --> 00:34:33.701
I had a DM like saying you know, that's not real.

00:34:33.701 --> 00:34:36.266
And like, thin people we get made fun of too.

00:34:36.266 --> 00:34:38.175
And I'm like I didn't say you didn't get made fun of.

00:34:38.175 --> 00:34:41.179
I said you aren't marginalized.

00:34:41.179 --> 00:34:46.052
Your doctor didn't misdiagnose you and you almost died because you were thin.

00:34:46.052 --> 00:34:50.490
Okay, if you're being treated a certain way that you don't like, it's not because you're skinny.

00:34:50.490 --> 00:34:52.342
That's what I'm saying.

00:34:52.342 --> 00:34:54.306
So, oh, that that sent, that sent me.

00:34:54.306 --> 00:34:58.961
I had a fire on my ass when I read that I'm like.

00:34:59.021 --> 00:35:00.204
I'm like I woke up to this.

00:35:01.465 --> 00:35:04.809
Oh yeah you didn't get hired because you're fat.

00:35:04.809 --> 00:35:08.775
You didn't not go on a date because you're fat.

00:35:08.775 --> 00:35:13.190
You don't get thrown out of the club.

00:35:13.190 --> 00:35:14.052
You get free drinks.

00:35:14.052 --> 00:35:17.047
Sometimes they won't even let fat people into certain clubs.

00:35:17.309 --> 00:35:21.351
I know, and it's even since you were younger.

00:35:21.351 --> 00:35:35.474
I'm like the principal didn't tell you you couldn't wear that yeah right right, you didn't have to change and we're wearing the same shirt like oh yeah, I've never understood why people feel I.

00:35:35.574 --> 00:35:40.570
I guess that there's either like some sort of I need to feel connected to this person.

00:35:40.570 --> 00:35:42.862
So I'm going to give you my experience.

00:35:42.862 --> 00:35:54.132
But the tone deaf response of a thin person saying, well, I get made fun of too, and it's like in this one situation you got made fun of and that's unfortunate.

00:35:54.132 --> 00:36:04.568
Let's talk about the entire lifespan of me being made fun of, and then we'll have a conversation like this and I don't want to compare like problems.

00:36:04.568 --> 00:36:07.844
You know like I'm a therapist, so I'm always like don't minimize your trauma.

00:36:07.923 --> 00:36:19.661
but what's bothering me even more is what I'm realizing right now is this person had even more privilege because I recorded my real response and deleted it and made a nicer one.

00:36:19.661 --> 00:36:22.007
So why did I do that?

00:36:22.909 --> 00:36:24.632
You're helping, you're doing something nice for her.

00:36:24.760 --> 00:36:37.309
I like, literally like, shook your you into consideration making my video yeah well, like I could have just yelled at you, it's like my my girlfriend blonde hair, blue eyes lives in a really fancy area.

00:36:38.032 --> 00:36:48.139
She's so sure she's white that, um, people have been racist against her and I'm like, oh sister, no, you're white we're already at the top of the fight.

00:36:48.139 --> 00:37:03.704
I don't like you right, exactly, but no, it's the same thing with no, come on, you can't you have to see how shitty people do anything they can to not be fat, everything they can to not be fat until everybody is treated the same.

00:37:03.864 --> 00:37:09.492
I don't want to hear anything from a blue-eyed, thin, blonde lady I really don't know, I hear you.

00:37:09.512 --> 00:37:17.804
That's how I feel too yes, exactly if you're gonna pay me then.

00:37:17.804 --> 00:37:22.509
Yeah, then I will hear you absolutely, oh my gosh.

00:37:24.170 --> 00:37:33.101
So Grim, we like to do like little fun sex questions, and these are kind of like rapid fire.

00:37:33.101 --> 00:37:47.070
So I'm going to give you three of them, but you can answer as long as you want, but they're meant to kind of just be a quick response, sort of thing so let's see when you were growing up, did your parents model the fact that sex is normal and healthy?

00:37:47.070 --> 00:37:51.331
No, give us a verbal highlight reel about your body.

00:37:51.331 --> 00:37:54.268
A verbal highlight reel Is that what you said?

00:37:54.590 --> 00:37:55.784
Okay, a verbal highlight reel.

00:37:55.784 --> 00:38:03.025
Oh gosh, heavy fluid, curvy, strong, I'm a strength trainer.

00:38:03.025 --> 00:38:07.380
I almost said fast, I'm a strength trainer.

00:38:07.380 --> 00:38:08.623
I almost said fast, I'm not fast.

00:38:08.623 --> 00:38:13.313
But there's something about I like I can do more than you would think I can.

00:38:13.313 --> 00:38:14.842
I'm gonna leave it at that.

00:38:14.842 --> 00:38:16.389
I like that Okay.

00:38:17.820 --> 00:38:20.007
The age old question Does size matter?

00:38:20.007 --> 00:38:23.304
I elaborate, of course you can.

00:38:26.601 --> 00:38:27.746
Yes, but let me explain.

00:38:27.746 --> 00:38:36.012
Okay, so I am a size queen I think most big women are, but that's only because you got to get there.

00:38:36.012 --> 00:38:40.268
We have more to get past, of course, but I don't discriminate.

00:38:40.268 --> 00:38:50.251
There are many ways to get size Hands, toys, an extender so I don't discriminate, but I need size in some way.

00:38:51.302 --> 00:39:00.202
Okay, yeah, so, yes, sorry, like the hands under your cheeks, like I'm sweet sorry about it, that was a very diplomatic answer.

00:39:01.186 --> 00:39:06.657
I've had that experience before where I was like doing everything I could, yeah, I just didn't feel it.

00:39:06.657 --> 00:39:07.400
I was like happening.

00:39:07.400 --> 00:39:08.742
No, he loved it.

00:39:09.603 --> 00:39:12.407
I didn't know yeah, very diplomatic.

00:39:12.728 --> 00:39:17.742
Keep going, murph um birthday suit or lingerie birthday suit?

00:39:17.742 --> 00:39:30.983
Okay, and then the the famous question that we ask at the end of every episode what's your favorite sex toy, sexual aid or thing that makes you feel sexy in the bedroom?

00:39:31.885 --> 00:39:33.248
anything that plugs into the wall.

00:39:33.248 --> 00:39:36.193
Nice, I'm a hitachi girl.

00:39:36.193 --> 00:39:37.822
Period f the batteries.

00:39:37.822 --> 00:39:40.369
Yeah, the batteries aren't strong enough.

00:39:40.369 --> 00:39:41.331
I don't care what anybody says.

00:39:41.331 --> 00:39:44.586
Now power hitachi.

00:39:44.586 --> 00:39:47.072
It's at the bedside every morning.

00:39:47.072 --> 00:39:47.853
I can add it.

00:39:47.853 --> 00:39:52.655
Also, I have short arms and I'm curvy, so I need something long you get it.

00:39:52.715 --> 00:39:55.681
We talk about that a lot, yeah, we talk about that a lot yeah.

00:39:55.820 --> 00:39:56.925
I can't reach anything.

00:39:58.440 --> 00:39:59.744
Not without a lot of manipulating.

00:40:00.447 --> 00:40:04.750
Yes, yes, so it makes it much easier too, because it's so long Right.

00:40:11.639 --> 00:40:13.764
I just want to bring it back a little bit about to the company of grim and all the things that she does.

00:40:13.764 --> 00:40:18.862
I, as I was going through all of your pages and your you know socials and your websites, I came across something called beacon ai.

00:40:18.862 --> 00:40:21.766
Wow, wow, I love that.

00:40:21.766 --> 00:40:23.690
I never knew about that until today.

00:40:23.690 --> 00:40:29.030
Yeah, just like it's where all my links are, so it's like linked, except that it's for creators.

00:40:29.900 --> 00:40:35.346
Yeah, because we have so many links and it like you live in one place and that's my favorite.

00:40:35.346 --> 00:40:36.268
It makes it really easy.

00:40:36.440 --> 00:40:42.704
You know, we were talking about doing a link tree and I was like I just I don't know why, I don't love link tree, but this might be the way for us to go.

00:40:42.704 --> 00:40:49.237
So yeah, I like beacons better than link tree because everybody can find everything that you're doing on beacon your twitter.

00:40:49.237 --> 00:40:54.327
That's where I found your twitter, which is where you get to really get to know grim on twitter.

00:40:54.349 --> 00:41:03.360
It's so funny because, like I have it, I didn't like post stuff like that to like this year yeah, well, yeah, I've just I wish elon should just go away.

00:41:03.380 --> 00:41:10.003
I know well, I've been deleted so many times that I have to be on everything, like a lot of people.

00:41:10.003 --> 00:41:15.331
I think a misconception like really quick a misconception is oh, I want to start OnlyFans and make some money.

00:41:15.331 --> 00:41:18.628
I'm like do you have 80 hours a week to edit everything?

00:41:18.628 --> 00:41:22.108
Make a teaser, make an Instagram safe teaser to upload it to all those websites.

00:41:22.108 --> 00:41:31.034
Put the hashtags in the description and then post this on this one and this one on this one and upload it on this website and schedule it and tag everybody.

00:41:31.034 --> 00:41:32.485
I'm like people have no clue.

00:41:32.840 --> 00:41:34.527
And don't forget to respond to people.

00:41:34.527 --> 00:41:38.927
People comment and say because that's what they want right, they want to hear from you.

00:41:40.141 --> 00:41:47.166
When I say I have hundreds of DMs a day, that's just on one platform, okay, so yeah, if you want me to answer it, pay me.

00:41:48.711 --> 00:41:48.931
Always.

00:41:49.139 --> 00:41:51.148
And so I stopped telling them that now.

00:41:51.148 --> 00:41:55.643
So when people are like, oh, I want to try that, I'm like, go for it, have a great time.

00:41:55.925 --> 00:41:59.487
Yeah, exactly, there's no way to get through to them if they don't understand it.

00:41:59.487 --> 00:42:05.192
I mean, just having any kind of presence on social media is so much fucking work, so I don't know how you do it.

00:42:05.231 --> 00:42:07.432
But you're able to make a living right.

00:42:07.653 --> 00:42:14.016
You string everything together and that's kind of what helps you to get through your day financially and personally.

00:42:14.958 --> 00:42:15.358
Yeah, it's a lot.

00:42:15.358 --> 00:42:15.818
It's your business.

00:42:15.818 --> 00:42:18.449
However much you think it is, it's probably times 50.

00:42:19.460 --> 00:42:21.005
Yeah, I hope so.

00:42:21.005 --> 00:42:21.746
Times 100.

00:42:22.148 --> 00:42:26.003
I make it look easy yeah no doubt yeah.

00:42:26.686 --> 00:42:37.106
So tell people what would you like them to know about you from this particular interview, and then also where people can find you, because that's the most important we want our community to be able to find you too.

00:42:37.989 --> 00:42:39.641
Okay, of course I mean.

00:42:39.641 --> 00:42:51.907
The takeaway from this and everything I do is that fat people need representation, and I'm especially like I'm all belly, I'm not flat, tummy, hip, bbl.

00:42:51.907 --> 00:43:04.103
So when I say fat people, I mean visibly fat people can be in any space sex burlesque, and burlesque in its sense is usually pretty body positive.

00:43:04.103 --> 00:43:05.827
I experienced fat phobia at burlesque.

00:43:05.827 --> 00:43:11.644
So, um, if I'm still experiencing fat phobia, then I need to keep working.

00:43:11.644 --> 00:43:16.840
So, and and the takeaway is anybody can do it.

00:43:16.840 --> 00:43:27.449
It doesn't matter what you look like literally, it doesn't matter what you look like, someone's going to be into it um, my favorite thing to say is all men need is a warm, wet place to put it.

00:43:28.771 --> 00:43:33.630
That's the truth, unless they're like Twitter maybe they want dry True true.

00:43:34.500 --> 00:43:38.931
But even if it's not for money, you deserve to be represented in a space.

00:43:38.931 --> 00:43:43.130
If you think you're not, I don't look good or this, who cares?

00:43:43.519 --> 00:43:46.244
A lot of fat babes think they're not going to be able to meet anybody.

00:43:46.244 --> 00:43:49.347
And I'm like sister, you don't even understand.

00:43:50.108 --> 00:43:55.155
Yes, you're everywhere and and it's so much.

00:43:55.155 --> 00:44:03.202
It's just how you, if you're confident or not, um, because even when we look for a partner, I don't really, I don't have a type.

00:44:03.202 --> 00:44:10.463
But if you're confident and funny and respectful and you're not ignorant, I mean, then that's attractive.

00:44:10.463 --> 00:44:13.472
If you are uncomfortable, you're talking down on yourself.

00:44:13.472 --> 00:44:14.884
I don't want to do the labor.

00:44:14.884 --> 00:44:15.666
I'm not your mother.

00:44:15.867 --> 00:44:16.730
No, don't be mean.

00:44:17.460 --> 00:44:22.717
So it doesn't matter what size you're at, it's how you carry your aura.

00:44:22.717 --> 00:44:24.001
People think I'm really tall.

00:44:24.001 --> 00:44:25.262
I'm five, three and a half.

00:44:25.262 --> 00:44:25.804
Are you really?

00:44:25.804 --> 00:44:28.690
Yes, and I'm like it's because of my vibe.

00:44:28.750 --> 00:44:30.673
Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.

00:44:30.773 --> 00:44:31.755
Also, I'm Italian.

00:44:31.755 --> 00:44:37.036
I don't know how tall they think I was going to get, but it's definitely how you carry yourself.

00:44:37.036 --> 00:44:41.483
And if there's one more thing I could say is like if you're fat and on a dating website, please show your body.

00:44:41.483 --> 00:44:43.786
Yes, please show your body.

00:44:43.786 --> 00:44:56.322
If it's just your face, I swear I'm gonna come in your dms and yell at you show it, show it the right person.

00:44:56.342 --> 00:44:57.784
They show all my kids what they're gonna be meeting in person.

00:44:57.784 --> 00:44:59.246
Oh yeah, so you have a boyfriend or a partner?

00:44:59.246 --> 00:45:02.010
I do amazing, that's crazy.

00:45:02.010 --> 00:45:06.652
Everybody here has one too, and some of us have multiple partners.

00:45:06.652 --> 00:45:20.284
So I wish sometimes yeah, I wish you would get through your head that I don't know, if I look at a lineup of 100 men, I might be attracted to five, so why would I be offended if they look at a group of 100 women and they're not attracted to me?

00:45:21.088 --> 00:45:37.860
I might not even be attracted to another thing yeah, like you don't have to like me unless I you know we're dating yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, but like I don't expect everybody to be attracted to me you know, I always say, like the one thing I would I would empathize with a thin blonde woman is that she doesn't know who really likes her.

00:45:38.663 --> 00:45:46.989
No, because I show up fat with tattoos on my head and I just narrowed it down by like 70 and this poor girl is lost.

00:45:46.989 --> 00:45:48.641
How did you meet your partner?

00:45:48.641 --> 00:45:49.864
Oh, we've.

00:45:49.864 --> 00:46:07.271
So we've been together for 13 years and, um, we met because we both had worked at the same place okay, it was this hot boy and, um, I was super awkward and weird, but so was he and it took us like a few years to even start hanging out like, but I got him.

00:46:07.271 --> 00:46:11.121
He's an angel, he's a good boy, he's excellent.

00:46:11.141 --> 00:46:11.663
And you both had.

00:46:11.663 --> 00:46:17.405
Like you did film, he did photography, yeah he helps out a lot.

00:46:17.525 --> 00:46:18.688
He's just super supportive.

00:46:18.688 --> 00:46:21.253
I don't have to, he just gets it.

00:46:21.253 --> 00:46:25.748
He's very calm, nothing like rattles him and I'm like all over the place.

00:46:25.748 --> 00:46:28.561
Yeah, I can't date someone who's also anxious.

00:46:28.561 --> 00:46:30.824
Oh, my god been there.

00:46:31.686 --> 00:46:42.271
But yeah, he's great, he's my baby, yeah well, tell us where they can find you grim, oh right so I mean, I'm every most things, I'm just griminator on everything.

00:46:42.311 --> 00:46:46.666
So twitter's griminator, instagram's griminator, my tiktok I deleted so often.

00:46:46.666 --> 00:46:51.534
It's just silly, but it's still Griminator, just doing silly, stupid things over there.

00:46:51.534 --> 00:46:56.126
Of is Griminator, like really, you'll find me.

00:46:56.126 --> 00:47:02.268
I tried to really streamline that the best I could and the beacon one is beacons with an S or no S.

00:47:02.268 --> 00:47:08.860
I believe it's beaconsai slash reminator yeah um, sometimes I go by grimzotic.

00:47:08.860 --> 00:47:15.574
I haven't told anybody about that, but I guess I just did grimzotic.

00:47:15.634 --> 00:47:20.764
So yeah, that's my, my husband, peeking in in the background.

00:47:20.804 --> 00:47:21.425
Can you see that?

00:47:21.425 --> 00:47:22.367
I just saw his face.

00:47:22.989 --> 00:47:28.380
I didn't see it tell him hi, james, you might as well peek your head in, you guys.

00:47:28.380 --> 00:47:35.932
The reason I know, james is like lurking is because he's like obsessed, so I know.

00:47:35.932 --> 00:47:37.862
Then he knows like, oh, she's filming.

00:47:37.862 --> 00:47:47.764
I better go in there and say like get a peek just it's a great peak yeah it's a pretty good peak, james, the microphone's in way.

00:47:47.804 --> 00:47:50.711
But there are wonderful pumpkin boobs.

00:47:50.711 --> 00:47:54.811
He says oh well, I can see it Too funny, he's great.

00:47:55.320 --> 00:47:57.047
Thank you so much for your time, Grim.

00:47:57.047 --> 00:48:12.590
We really enjoyed getting to chat with you and we know our audience is going to rally around you and find you on all the socials and add you and, um, yeah, when you go to uh Exotica, say hi to the BBW XXX adventures.

00:48:12.590 --> 00:48:14.434
Amazon, Amanda will be there.

00:48:14.434 --> 00:48:16.103
I'll be there, yeah.

00:48:16.244 --> 00:48:18.891
Oh, yes, I love what you do, I really appreciate what you do, that you're.

00:48:18.891 --> 00:48:27.760
You really help, I'm sure, other people to embrace their bodies and embrace their fat and don't let it be a hurdle, don't let it be in your way.

00:48:27.760 --> 00:48:30.889
It's over 70% of the population is fat.

00:48:30.889 --> 00:48:32.454
We are the majority.

00:48:32.454 --> 00:48:35.563
So I really am grateful for you and I appreciate everything that you do.

00:48:35.563 --> 00:48:38.101
So, and thank you so much for being here with us today too.

00:48:38.541 --> 00:48:41.766
Oh, thank you, and I, I mean, I appreciate everything you're doing.

00:48:41.766 --> 00:48:42.547
We're all doing it.

00:48:42.547 --> 00:48:45.391
Yep, yeah, we're all on the same level.

00:48:45.391 --> 00:48:50.547
We're all doing the same thing, and every, every one of us is doing something that's just as important as the other.

00:48:50.547 --> 00:48:55.028
Fat liberation, yeah, and community, community, yeah.

00:48:55.028 --> 00:48:56.324
Thank you so much.

00:48:56.324 --> 00:48:57.327
This was awesome.

00:48:57.327 --> 00:48:58.882
Which one Do you want to?

00:48:58.902 --> 00:49:00.085
tell people where they can find us?

00:49:00.989 --> 00:49:16.766
Yes, you can find us at big sexy chat on all the social links and if you wanted to send us an email, if you had feedback you wanted to give us about this episode or questions that you may have, it is BigSexyChatPod at Gmail.

00:49:16.766 --> 00:49:19.351
So like subscribe, share do all the things.

00:49:19.351 --> 00:49:20.693
Go to Grimm's page.

00:49:20.693 --> 00:49:22.804
Like subscribe, share do all the things.

00:49:22.804 --> 00:49:24.509
We appreciate you all.

00:49:25.630 --> 00:49:27.213
Thank you, thank you everybody, see you later.

00:49:27.255 --> 00:49:31.530
Alligator after a while crocodile toodle baby poodle.