Oral Sex, Contraception for Fatties, & Vibe of the Week with Marina Hayes

Hi, welcome to big sexy chat. I'm Chrystal I'm Merf we're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing in the fat. Twice a month we'll be chatting all about current events, hot topics, sex, sex toys, relationships, fat politics,  cannabis CBD, you name it, we're gonna talk about it. We're really excited to have you part of our community. Welcome and enjoy.

Hi, welcome to big sexy radio. This is Chrystal. This is Merf. Hi, Merf. Hi, Chrystal. As we like to say around here, we're just two rad fatties chew in the fat and that's really what it is. That's exactly it talking about being sexy, all things fun. Yes.  Just so you know, run down real quick for new listeners and welcome if you are new and welcome to our community. We talk about current events. We do a listener question. We have a hot topic, Merf hot topics, and then we do a vibe of the week. . And then at the end of this episode tonight, we have a few things to talk about, especially our giveaway.

And we have a special guest when we're talking about the vibe of the week. So if you know Marina Hayes, she's gonna be joining us in a little while and we're so excited. So welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Merf didn't you just love that show? I told you, you had to watch the, oh my God. I knew you would love it. Oh, I'm in love.

Build a sex room on Netflix. Yes. Melanie rose. That's the lady that is the hostess, right? Yes. The Mary Poppins of sex rooms. Yes. The Mary Poppins of sex rooms and she is she's everything you want dirty Mary Poppins to be. She is. I agree. She's really out there too. She's like humping that, that, that one thing out in that guy's front yard.

yeah, I. Construction guy that she has with her. He's perfect to like balance her out, cracks me up every time he's like smacking her on the butt or talking about penises on the wall or just whatever it is. He's got some clever little equipment to say back to her. Yeah. They're both just slightly naughty.

Yeah. And then she's British. So, you know, she can get away with anything cuz she's just cute accent. Yeah. And she's over 60. Yeah. And she's just so like, oh, it's like what I wanna be when I get older, you know? Yeah. I see her walking around in the cute little outfit and she's just pulling dildos and whips and floggers out of her bag.

And you're just like, what is happening right now? I knew you were gonna love that show. It's just so amazing. I, I aspire to have almost all of those rooms. Some of them are a little too romantic for me. I'm not really into like, I'm not into things that are too fussy, but I mean they're all gorgeous. All of them all I know.

What'd you think about the poly? Cool. The poly family. I I'm on that episode right now. Oh, okay. So you haven't, you haven't heard the woman, what she asked to to say why she wants hardwood floors? No,  she's you can tell me fine. She's really interested in Bock and having all of the people in her poly kill, which is five men and her, and one other woman she's interested in having all of them pee on her and doesn't wanna do it on carpet.

Cause it'll ruin the carpet. It'll ruin the carpet.  yeah, no. Oh, I can't wait to see what kind of, you know, option she comes up with to, to change that room. It's amazing. All of it's amazing. She's just, oh, when I found that I was like, oh my gosh, I totally want to have a sex room. We try cuz you know, we don't have any kids, so we can do a few things here and there, but it's nothing really official.

But yeah, we do have, we have a built in basement. My partner had it built in about seven or eight years ago. So we had the house lifted up. They put in a full basement. So I call it the dungeon.  , it's very cool down there. You know, it's concrete floors, but it's huge bathroom, huge shower too. Yeah.

Two bedrooms in the living room. So that's kind of like our dungeon anyway, but it's not all fancy and, you know, watching the, the very first episode where they gloss over the concrete. And I know you could do a lot yeah. In there. So I watched, I binged it and then he woke up the next time. I'm like, you gotta watch this.

So we watched it on fast floor and I showed him that floor. It's like this beautiful. It's gorgeous. We've never finished the floor down there. But one day we will, we've been finishing a few things around here, you know? Yeah. So expensive here. So to try to try to improve things as stuff gets really costly, especially when you already paid a lot for the house.

So exactly. Well, and the cost of all the supplies to make those changes is really expensive right now, too. Yeah, absolutely. Everything's expensive right now. Yeah. I, I tell you though, I. I said to my husband, I was like, this is like my favorite, favorite show in terms of, I love watching HG TV. Yeah. And they built it.

Like, it's very similar an TV show for sex. And I'm just like, I love this. This is so the people that they're talking to are so openly talking about sex lives. And I was so surprised. I'm just, I love it. I love it. It's so much fun. It is so much fun. And yeah, I was surprised how openly all are too. And that they're just putting everything out there on, on Netflix, because like telling the whole wide world that you wanna have golden showers is that's really open-minded.

You know, she doesn't care what anybody thinks and good for her. She shouldn't care. Right. Nope. And that's what I love about it. It's so bold that Sheriff's guy, the guy that's a, and I he's talking about all kinds of stuff and I'm just like, whoa, I know. I kept thinking, oh, the guys are gonna give him so much help, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. And they're interesting too, because he's super tall and she's kind of on the shorter side of life. So they're trying to figure out like mechanics and they have that cross, that tilts backwards. Ugh. The Inver table. Mm-hmm  but it's also a St. Andrews cross. Yeah. They're all in one. Yeah. I'm like, oh, that episode I want the tantric chair that they have and I want the inversion table.

That's the St. Andrews cross. I, I was sitting there going, start looking it up, babe. Like, get your phone out. I know he's on it too. I know your man loves to buy that kind of stuff for you for the two of you.  yes, same here.  it's it was really fun though. I was like such a, like, I needed something kind of funny and.

Light and you know, the world is on fucking fire. It's nice to watch something light like that. Like, like two years ago, when Bridgeton came out, you know, I was like, oh, this is the eye candy. And the brain candy that I need right now. And same with this show. It's brilliant. Yeah. I thought I saw one of my friends candles in there, but she said this show was film maybe like a couple years ago.

So she said it wasn't her candles, but yeah. It's yeah, it's so good. I wonder what the casting was like, like we need people who don't mind telling the whole wide world about your kinks.  right. And that you have a free space to just come in and have someone make a complete overhaul of sex rooms. I mean, my husband says it looks like one of those high end boutiques.

Most of them, I think it does hard looking. Yeah. High end boutiques. And, and I'm like, that's true, but man, it sure would be nice to have somebody just come into your house and be like, okay, what are you into? Let's make you a high end sex boutique in your, you know, basement or second floor or whatever. Its Merf how much do you think those rooms who was paying and like how I, those rooms are tens of thousands of dollars.

Right? I have no idea who was paying. I think honestly they probably were like, if you openly talk about this on TV or you know, cable, or what do you call it? Streaming going. Yeah. We're going to pay, you know that you've gotta be the one to talk about it. Maybe. So. Yeah. That's what you get for coming on the air and talking about your bucocky fantasy. Oh, I love it. That's why I'm so excited. Cuz they look like such a kind of goofy nerdy couple I, and I was like, I wonder what their kinks gonna be. Hmm. And that's where we stopped today. And so I was like, oh my gosh. Yeah. Now. It's gonna be great. It's everybody's a little bit different too, you know?

And that one, couple where you have to go downstairs. So they go down to their basement and right across the sta the platform for the basement is their washer and dryer. But then you lift up the, the stair cover or whatever, and to walk down the steps. And can you imagine they had to bring all that stuff down, those steps, all that furniture.

And they, they, they did stuff to the walls. They dry wall, everything. Yeah. That was wild. You had to walk down backwards down those stairs. Yeah. It was like a little Haiti hold. They were so steep. It was just like straight you're gonna fall. Yeah. Like there's getting down there easily. Yeah. You have to go down backwards.

I can imagine them bringing all that stuff up and down the stairs. It must have take taken months. One of the most rooms. Yeah. It was really beautiful. Yeah. Really beautiful. It was. Yeah. And that, it's also, you know, they're talking about people's marital problems. So she's like a, a therapist, right? Well, and that's what I was gonna say.

I'd love that she is taking on the uniqueness of whatever their issue is. Mm-hmm  and not only changing the room, but also kind of encouraging them to open their mind up to something or to look at it a little differently, or maybe examine it completely by going and talking to a couples person. You know, mm-hmm,  getting that them out of the rut.

When that one couple were talking, trying to talk dirty to each other and the husband was just like, what did he say? Oh, it was a crazy word, like in pale or something. I was like, no irrigate. Did he say irrigate? Oh my God, my head hurts. Just thinking about that.  will I irritate irrigate? What I know it's and you just see totally different, you know, lives.

It's fun. Just kinda have a little peak right in to see what's happening. It is fun to see how other people live. It's it's fascinating. They were a cute couple though. They they're all great couples or molecules. They were all really awesome. They got, they got the right people and a nice mix of diversity and yeah, I was loving it.

Loving. I knew you were gonna love, I couldn't wait to talk to you about it. Yeah. So it is called how to build a sex room. It's a Netflix original series. It just came out, I think what last week? Probably. Yeah. Yeah. So it's still fairly new and starting to gain traction. Oh yeah. I instantly went to go find Melanie rose, the host on social media and she's on Instagram.

If anyone wants to follow her, who is? Yeah, she's sassy. It's great. She's a little horn dog. She is. . She's so cute about it too. I know

now for some more current events, we are very excited to premiere our very own fat troublemaker. She's creating all kinds of lovely segments for big sexy chat. Welcome Sydney, take it away. Fat troublemaker.

 Hey, thanks. It's Sydney. The BSC resident fat troublemaker here, not just to cause a little trouble, but to, you know, show you how to do a little of your own. Well, here we are about to talk about some pretty heavy stuff. Now I promise in the future, my segments are gonna be a lot more fun. Well, I'll try, but there are gonna be times when we have to talk about some serious things and today happens to be one of 'em.

So buckle up kittens. Here we go. Unless you have been living under a rock. Even you are well aware that the United States of late has decided to remove some of our rights and make birth planning a little more difficult. So, let's talk about some of our options as you probably are aware, or maybe you're not larger body folk have always had a very complicated relationship with hormonal contraceptives.

So I thought I would go over several of our options, both hormonal and non-hormonal and a whole lot of other stuff with regard to our reproductive information. So they, you know, help us all out. Why not? Right. So let's start with the very first, the big one, the one everybody's talking about.

Emergency contraceptives now, namely Levo, nor geester, I'm probably going to butcher that name several times. So bare with me. It's also known as plan B one step or the morning after pill. Now as an oral hormone based birth control option, it works similarly to other birth control pills to prevent pregnancy.

The drug acts primarily by stopping sperm from fertilizing the egg. And if ization does occur, this stuff is gonna prevent a fertilized egg from even attaching to the womb. So gay that, but here's the rub like other forms of oral hormone based contraceptives efficacy decreases, the more you weigh.

Yeah, aint that some shit. Cause according to the FDA national Institute of health, the efficacy of Levo nor gestural begins to diminish by 7% embodies weighing 155 pounds or more. Now then it becomes 14% less effective for those weighing 175 pounds or more. And then it just continues to degrade from there.

I know. Great. Now the clinical conclusion, according to FDA and the national Institute of health is that, and I quote, all analysis showed a significant drop in the efficacy of Lovo nor gestural emergency contraceptive with increasing body weight, with pregnancy risks in the higher weight categories, similar to.

Expected rates in the absence of contraception. Now, what does that mean? Basically? It means that the larger you are, the less effective this particular option is going to be for you. So you're more likely to end up getting pregnant. Ain't it funny how none of that crap is even ever disgusted or included in the commercials.

They never talk about that. No new, and you're probably gonna be hard pressed to get that information outta your doctor too. So that's why I'm here, but definitely talk to your doctor about all options. Now don't lose heart because there are other options for you. There's a non-hormonal option called Ella.

Ella is an, also an emergency contraceptive pill and it contains a non-hormonal drug called Yuli Pressel acetate. It works as a anti progesterone. Which prevents pregnancy after unprotected sex by blocking the production of the hormone progesterone, it's a prescription drug that you can talk to your doctor about.

You may even, may not even need to have a, an appointment to see them, or you can go to planned parenthood depending upon the restrictions in your state. Now here's the thing to remember this particular drug also loses effectiveness at 195 pounds. So if you're 195 pounds or more, you're gonna have some efficacy issues with this.

Also remember that Yule pre acetate is non-hormonal. So it should be noted that according to the FDA, it can be less effective when used in conjunction with hormonal birth control. If you use hormonal birth control, such as the pill shot or the ring. Taking Ella can, at the same time can reduce the effectiveness of both Ella and your birth control.

So bear that in mind. Now I already know what y'all are thinking the hell. Are we gonna do those of us that are over 195 pounds? Goodness knows. There's plenty of us, right? We still have options. The copper I U D is the only non-hormonal emergency contraceptive. That is not weight affected. Let miss say that again.

I U D copper I U D is the only non-hormonal emergency contraceptive that is not weight affected. However, it does require an outpatient medical procedure to have this device installed. And you have to you have up to 120 hours or five days to get it installed for it to be considered effective as an emergency contraceptive.

Now, once inserted the cop, I U D can effectively prevent pregnancies or up to 10 years y'all but once inserted it's effectiveness as an emergency option has, is removed. So have your emergency, you get the cop, I U D it saved you the one time. Once it's in it, it would just serve as your regular birth form of birth control.

And you can get this option again through your doctor or through planned parenthood, depending upon your state laws and restrictions. Now outside of emergency contraception or contraceptives, I should say there are other long and short term forms of birth control and they vary in efficacy and risks and hear a few of those.

We'll just go over a bunch of them. Intra uterine systems, also known as IU SS and entry, uterine devices known as IUDs. Now these are typically hormone based options and therefore come with some of the same warnings and weight restrictions with efficacy. But they still provide long lasting pregnancy prevention ranging from three years to 10 years.

In some cases, it all depends on the specific hormones that are used and the implementation method. Again, talk to your doctor. Another option is Moxy, progesterone acetate also known by its brand name of depo Provera. Now this particular contraceptive is an injection and it contains a hormone Progeta depo.

Vera is given as an injection every three months and typically suppresses ovulation, keeping your ovaries from releasing an egg. So no egg, no pregnancy. The good news is that this option, according to the FDA does not need dosages to be adjusted for body weight. And after a year of use, about 50% of the women using this stuff report that they have no period at all, which is, you know, kind of handy.

However, Periods typically will come back after you stop getting the shots and it should be noted that long term use of DEPA Provera may cause loss of bone mineral density, which makes users more likely to give osteoporosis. So you kind of have to decide, mm, weak bones. Hmm. No period. Hmm. Reduced chances of pregnancy.

I don't know, weigh your options. Also because half of the women getting the shots stopped having period periods, it isn't an option, a a really, an ideal option for women of menopause age as it may of conflict with bodies, the body's natural cycle of life, which, you know, sucks. Now onto the vaginal ring, vaginal ring is a small, flexible, contraceptive ring about the size of a silver dollar.

It releases a continuous dose of hormones, estrogen, and progesterone into the bloodstream to prevent pregnancy. Now, this ring must be removed and replaced every three weeks to achieve optimal efficacy though, this option is hormone based. There are no documented indications of loss of efficacy due to body weight.

So a a, a that's awesome. Another option similar to the ring, but with its own little issues is the transdermal contraceptive patch known simply as the patch. Now this method that you can wear it on your skin, it'll, it'll go on your belly or your upper arm or your butt, your back. But it is noted by the FDA that this patch is not recommended for persons with body weights in excess of 198 pounds that said both options, the patch and the ring are ideal for those with trouble swallowing pills, or have tendency to forget, to take a daily contraceptive pill again, as always chatted out with your doctor or preferred medical professional.

Now, if you are one of those people who is pretty much figured out, you are probably never gonna have kids. You just, they're not in the cards for you. They're not what you want. That's fine. The sterilization may be something you wanna consider though, while considering it, it is important to be aware that because most sterilization of procedures are permanent or irreversible.

Some states and doctors require you to be married and or already have children before a procedure would be performed. Also some states have even gotten ballsy enough to where they require you to petition a court before they'll perform the procedure. Like yay. We're legislating of our bodies. Just what we always wanted.

However, if this is definitely something you want to do, you feel like is necessary if your life by all means, fight it out, but you should be aware of some of the hiccups that may come along the way also, because this is a surgical option. You should also be very aware of all the ne all the regular.

Surgical risk that may occur. And definitely, definitely think about all of these things. When considering sterilization is an option for yourself. Now, we're all aware of the pill, the pill, the pill, the pill, save the world. And it's a great option, especially if you're looking for something a little less permanent than sterilization.

There's a long and winding list of non-emergency oral contraceptives with pharmaceutical names that I am not even going to attempt. We've butchered enough thus far already. So, go ahead and talk to your doctor or planned parenthood if you're allowed for more information on any and all of those, but always be sure to ask about weight, diminishing efficiencies, side effects of each of their, the options, know what is going, what it's gonna do to your body and ask plenty of questions.

Next step, we're gonna talk about barrier options, such as condoms, diaphragms, and cervical caps. Now these are all very effective and do not have any weight affected efficacy issues. So that's awesome. These options can also be combined with other forms of contraceptive, such as spermicidal lubricants, the pill and other options that I've already mentioned.

Condoms also have the wonderful added benefit of assisting in providing protection from STIs in addition to providing effective birth control. So, yay bonus likely y'all are just as overwhelmed by all of this information as I am in putting it together for y'all. But fortunately, there's this wonder woman out there by the name of Lynn Ashley.

This wonderful bodacious babe has created has created a fantastic resource called post row rounded up abortion access resources for plus size and fat. Now, if you aren't familiar with who Linley is, she's an artist, an author, a photographer, and you know, just like a genius, but she's the wonderful person behind body liberation, photos.com, which works towards increasing the representation of fat bodies in photography, advertising, and fine art.

And just, you know, the world in. Basically she's a dynamo cuz she does all of that cool stuff. And she took time at all her busyness to put together this abortion access resource for us. Now within it, you're gonna find a lot of information some of which I've already shared with you. But some of it I you'll find as well is like a printable guide about emergency contraceptives and weight limitations that are associated with those.

You're gonna find an amazing bipo lead list of abortion funds that you can support. You're gonna find information on how to keep your abortion, private and secure abortion funds in every us state dangers of supporting anti networks. National network of abortion funds the plan C guide to abortion pills miscarriages and abortion hotline.

And just so, so, so much more. Now it's an absolute treasure trove of information relevant, not just to our times, but to our large bodies. The website information for all of this that I've talked about and Lin's page they're gonna be down in the details of the description of this particular podcast for this episode, and please avail yourself of it because it is, like I said, an absolute treasure trove of information, specifically with large bodies in mind.

Please, please, please, please, please check it out now again with everything that I've just shared with you and you know, of course what you're gonna find on Lin's page, please always consult your preferred, licensed medical professional. We are not, I'm not a professional in this area. I've just gathered information, done research and so on, but check it out with the right folk.

But I do wanna encourage you as well to ask questions. When you talk to these people, when you talk to your doctor, ask tons of questions, don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. This is about your health and your peace of mind and knowing all of your options, their effectiveness, availability, and possible side effects are all your right, no matter what the laws may be enforced in the state or country that you live in.

So please speak up, shake up. The world is so used to these big bodies of ours and being quiet and not speaking up for our fat fabulous cells. And that's just dumb. So let's speak up and now that you are armed with a whole lot of information, you can make some trouble.

Well, I wanted to tell you that we have a question  today that kind of goes into the realm of sex rooms and sexual activities. Are you interested? I wanna hear it for sure.  the question is if you perform oral sex, Do you always want reciprocation? Do I always want it? Probably . I mean, I never, I always say I get outta bed in the morning for the possibility I might receive oral sex that day , but I don't always expect it cuz sometimes that it's like a, a gift I'm giving, you know, or I'm something special I'm doing for him, you know?

So not all the time. It's nice. I will say after 10 years of doing pleasure parties all over the bay area, men are, are really slacking out there compared to what I'm hearing from their wives or partner for people who are on, you know, like, heteronormative kind of relationships. The, the men are, are slacking.

The, the women seem like they're given a lot more blow jobs than their receiving. So I don't think that's very cool. I think it should feel very fair and even, but you know, I don't know. What do you think worth, I'd say no, there's not always the expectation for reciprocity on that, but I would say that you should talk to your partner and ask if that's something that they want, you know, I, you know, can I go down on you?

Is that something you want me to do right now? Or mm-hmm,  having that question and then answering it back for yourself and saying I'd like you to go down on me. Yep. I think it's hard for some people to say that though. I've had some people say that oral sex it is more. Like reserved for special occasions.

It's not a standard kind of thing. So, I think part of that really just depends on what your idea is about oral sex. Is it a gift or is it just a regular part of your play for play? Yeah, sometimes it's either one, you know, it just depends. If I wanna give him a gift, cuz he's done something really nice for me.

I mean, you know, it depends for me, but I do. I, I think it's for me, I like it to feel kind of even. So I feel bad for the people that are in relationships where it's like 1000 blow jobs to like 10, you know, going down on her. That's not cool, but you have to speak up, you know, you gotta communicate and you gotta talk about these things because otherwise you get really bitter and resentment never leads to hot sex.

So if you don't get it off your chest, you're just gonna get more and more resentful and you get further, further apart and then you just get. Bitter and sexless marriages or sexless relationships are Nono. Yeah. Well, and like that couple on how to build a sex room, you know, if, if you're not even sure you've had an orgasm or if you're not, you know, you've been with your partner for a really long time, and you're just not receiving the pleasure that you want.

Right. Thing, is it, some people don't like oral sex, some people are like, it's, you know, makes me feel uncomfortable or whatever. And it's like, okay, well then are you getting pleasure some other way from your partner, you know, in a way that feels unique or special to you, and as long as that's happening, that's fine.

You know, as long as you're feeling like, like you mentioned that having that fair balance of mm-hmm , I'm giving, receiving back and forth in this relationship. But for me, it doesn't have to be oral sex during the shutdown. I was doing some of my blowjob classes via zoom and this couple, well, first he reached out to me and I said, I would love to help y'all, but I need to hear from her.

I need to know that she really wants to do this. Right. And so she reached out to me and then they paid and we did it, you know, she just was the only one on the class, although I could tell he was kind of nearby, but she was very serious. She sat down on the floor in her bedroom. She had like pens to write stuff with and she wanted me to go really slow.

Cuz she, and these couple, this couple was probably in their sixties and she wanted to learn how to give really good blow jobs because here they felt like she wasn't that great. Okay. So then as we get into it, I'm like, you know, you know, I always like to say that if you're giving some oral sex, whether you're given a penis or a vagina, VVA, oral sex, all of it should leave you feeling powerful, empowered, beautiful, sexy, hopefully turned on.

Not, you know, I know that's not necessary for everybody, but it shouldn't feel like a job if it feels like a job. Ugh, that's no fun. But and he was not reciprocating whatsoever. And she was okay with that because she got. Herpes at some point. And he was like, no, I go, what about dental dams? Or, you know, flavored condoms.

You can cut them in half and Nope, he, but I'm like, so you're learning how to get better head and he's never gonna do anything. And I go, what about fingers and stuff? Like does, do you like that? Because most women like the fingering, because it feels so good. There's so many nerve needs right around the vaginal open.

No, no, he won't do that either. I'm like, okay, so do you guys have sex? Nope. No sex, no oral sex, nothing for her. I'm like, what the heck? Not. Okay. She's been blowjob server pretty much. Yeah. And he was his idea. I was like, that's not okay. But's what she bargained with. And that's what she bargained with him for.

She wants what she wanted. I'm like, okay. I'm like blink twice. If you need me to come help you, you know? Like, are you, are you safe? Are you okay? Yeah, that breaks my, I know me too. Yeah. It was weird, but I was, you know, fun teaching her stuff. But then when I heard the whole story, I was like, man, yeah, screw him.

Don't do your best work on him. No. Right. Take a and go apply it someplace else for somebody more deserving. That's what I always tell my girlfriends that are out there dating. Don't do your best work at first, because once you give a guy a really good sloppy job, they never delete your phone number. So save your good work, save your good stuff.

Or once like date four or five or six, you know, they're like, yeah, really. It's true. I sort, I I've had men call me from like 20 years ago, 15 years ago. I'm like looked at the phone, always put in, like, do not answer dickhead or whatever, you know? I'm like, why is he calling me? Like damnit? I gave him one of those magical blow jobs.

Shit. Oh, was I thinking wiser now? Right? Yeah. Oral sex is always a tricky subject because yeah. I found when I was doing all those parties that a lot of women say they don't enjoy it. I wonder why, you know, like how do you not like somebody worshiping your clitoris and your vulva and your vagina with their mouth and fingers.

To me, that's like. Besting on earth.  yeah, I've always been more of a fingers, hand person, more so than mouth on, on my vagina or my VVA. Just because of pressure, you know, I think Uhhuh, yeah. You know, I'm really a pressure sensitive person. And so that's always seems to be more pleasurable for me.

Mm-hmm  because the tongue is so light and flicky and it's fun. Don't get me wrong. I love it. But I also, like there has to, for me, there has to be kind of like a mixture of both or, or more hand play than anything just mm-hmm  of that level of pressure and, and sensitivity. So I think it it's one of those things where.

And we'll get into that I'm sure is, is how do you have that discussion with your partner of like, this is what I really like, because yeah. Sometimes it's not just oral, sometimes it's oral and yeah. And when I'm asked, I say, if you're going down on a vulva, vagina, clitoris, eat it. Like it's your last meal on earth, honestly, be aggressive about it.

You know, we, we need a lot more pressure there than you might think, you know? And also you need to talk to your partner. What do you like? Do you like it? When I do this? Do you like it? When I do that, some, I used to tell people when I was doing all those parties, why don't you pretend like you're porn stars and you're gonna like videotape each other and you're giving each other directions.

So you have all the freedom and safe space to say, you know, do this, do that, do this, do that. And then they can, you can slip and then he's he, or she's telling you do this, do that. And it's just a good way to kind of like. Get into that conversation for people are uncomfortable with it. You know, it's not, it's not for everybody.

No, I agree. I think that's a, a really fun way to mm-hmm  have a conversation of direction. Cause I think part of that is the scariness of telling your partner what you really enjoy or what you really want and not coming off as like I'm a dictator telling you what to do and you know yeah. There's so much shame around it and, and you don't find that so much around just regular intercourse or mm-hmm anything like that.

It's more of like this idea of more intimacy because it's your face at somebody's genitals. Yeah. At, or on somebody's a lot of people with vaginas, vulvas have shame about how they smell and taste. Yeah. And I'm, I'm here to tell you if your partner's into vaginas and vulvas and clitoris. They're gonna love how you smell and taste.

They're attracted to that scent and flavor. So, but I know we just catch so much shame about how our vaginas smell from boy, little boys, making jokes to grown men, making jokes, you know? Right. The fishy jokes and stuff. I don't know about you. Well, I know about you actually. I know you have a hygiene thing, so do I, because I'm fat.

So I'm like overachiever when it comes to hygiene. Yep. Cause I never want anybody to think I'm smelly and yeah, I just, I've never, unless I have like. Or something there's no fishy odor ever. I just, I hate that stuff. It's not funny. No, it's, you know, somebody who had some sort of bacterial VA vaginosis, you know, some, some ki some kind of issue yeah.

With ye and it creates that smell. And that's a morning of, Hey, something's wrong. And we need to get you in to see somebody so that you start, you know, taking care of that, but you, it only takes one and it, you know, then it's a hahaha. It's not funny, you know? Yeah. It's shaming. No. Well, it's just, yeah, that's exactly.

I mean your vagina and I'm sure this goes for people with penises too. You just have a scent, right. It's kind of like always sort of the same, unless you have your cycle or you have sex and someone finishes inside of. Then you might have like one bad day, you know, and then you go back because you know, it's a self cleaning oven.

It does all the stuff, it just takes care of everything. You don't have to worry about it. No douching, it's not good for you. I know everybody wants to Douch. So, and then all of a sudden your, your vagina has to go to like double time to try to get the flora and the fauna all back to the good stuff. And a douching is not good, but it's yeah, this it's just such an elementary school joke, you know, like when I hear a grown man, I'm like, dude, could you just Google this shit?

They don't smell like fish, you know? But yeah, just so much shame. I wonder if that's why a lot of people with vaginas don't they turn down oral sex and I think usually the person who's interacted to, they, they often really want to go there with their mouth. Absolutely. Yeah. Or do some, yeah. Have some kind of pleasure, whether it be, you know, with their hands, with their mouth, whatever it.

I mean, how many guys have the whole, like, smell your fingers after and love that, you know, that kind of thing. So it's like, don't tell me that it's fishy and you're gross and you know, all that kind of stuff. If you're talking about smelling fingers  oh yeah. So having their buddies smell it, you're like, oh my God, that's not okay.

What's wrong with you?  oh yeah. It's complicated subject. It's really complicated. I know a lot of women, sadly also probably have some issues with possibly, you know, sexual assault or things like that. Right, right. Sad. Yeah. And that's why it's really important to have that discussion with your partner, because it may be something that they're not ready to talk about, why they don't wanna have oral sex, or it may be something where there's shame tied around it or some issue tied around it.

And it just takes some exploring and talking about, so yeah, I, I, it.  it's a very intimate process. Mm-hmm  and it's one of those things where you have to be vulnerable and have those conversations, because if you don't, you're missing out on some really great fun. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. And it's very I don't know about you, but I don't just go down on anybody.

You know, so for me, it's like a sign of trust and love, you know, I'm probably not gonna do that for someone, you know, having a one night stand with or whatever. I just, it's not my thing, you know, but if you, if I, if I'm into you and you're my partner, I'm into it, you know, but other than that, and I don't really want anybody that I don't really know to go down on me, unless I'm really close with them, cuz takes a lot of trust, you know?

And it's, it's kind of a lot for, for us because you know, our genitalia is not sticking straight out. Right. So someone has to like go in there and find it, you know, and it's lower. I got folds, man. Yeah. And then some women have the Caty tiny clitoris, you know, that'll be like smaller. That's showing that's on the outside of their body.

It'll be like smaller than your pinky nail. Other women have like, you know, a thumb size clitoris and the, the ones that are small seem like they're embarrassed by how small it is. And the ones that have the gigantic ones are embarrassed by how big they are. There's no, you know, there's no, there's no winning.

I'm like, oh, it's, it's your you're no, it's there. And that's kind of why I like those section toys. And we're gonna talk about those with Marina Hayes soon when she comes on to talk with us when we talk about the sex vibe of the week. But I like the section toys because the women, people with glitters is the ones that have the really small CLIs.

You could get that suction thing on those little tinyriss and just start sucking on it and just pulls it out a little bit and just makes it easier to find for them. And for someone else, I tell you blood and gorging to those areas is a damn good thing. Absolutely doesn't happen without the blood and gorging it just, yeah.

You have to have all that stuff going on and it's so good. But, and I know a lot of people have a hard time orgasming from receiving oral. Some people do men and women. Yeah. And I think a lot of that too, is kind of what people have it constructed in their mind. Mm-hmm  of like a foreplay activity. This isn't a end of, you know, the end of sex.

It's just the start of that. So I, you don't come when you have oral, you know, there's been, I've heard lots of different reasons as to why people have those parameters, you know, set up or lots about whatever it is, rules for oral sex, but Hey, everyone has their own thing and I'm like, okay, if that's what makes you happy go for, for it.

Sure, sure. Yeah. The there's that whole thing about bodily fluids too, right? So are you, are you bodily fluid bonded with the person. Because then they might not be, if you're not, they might be comfortable receiving whatever you have to give. And then I know, I mean, I did, you know, hundreds of blowjob classes usually for like 40 to 50 people at a time.

And we would spend so much time on talking about what to do with the ejaculate, you know? And the things that people tell me, they do, they get up and they run to the bathroom, they spit it out and then they come back to the bed. I'm like, good Lord  or they keep a thing next to the bed. They spit it out in there and I'm just like, wow, these people have all these things worked out.

They just don't wanna have anything to do with it, you know? And it would be a long discussion cuz people have such different ideas and they have all these things they've made up or someone's made up, you know, like old wives tales about ejaculate and they fully, you know, it's they believe it. And I know, I know your mind about it.

yeah. Well being that, that is our hot topic, oral sex, I think you should tell us a little bit more about your blowjob classes. Yeah, I haven't really done any in a while, but we, I wrote a little ebook about how to give a million dollar blow job, basically. And I, I interviewed a bunch of men when I did, when I wrote it.

So I wanted to ask them, like, what were things that we do, you know, for people who were in like ASIS hat relationship that bother them, that doesn't turn them on. That gets them kind of like turned off or whatever. And then like, what do you really love? You know? And it was always things like they would be uncomfortable if their partner looked uncomfortable.

So like, if you're sitting weird or like this one person told me, like, if you're sitting over my penis and you're like, you don't, you don't look comfortable and you're sitting in this awkward squat, like, I don't feel like I can really relax. I want you to feel comfortable too. I was like, OK, thank you. And then yeah, a lot of them, lot of my class talked about making out with the penis, like you're making out with their mouth.

And I mostly was mostly like women giving bull jobs to men. It was mostly the clients that I had. Oh, Hey Marina. Hi. Hi there. Welcome. Thank you. And then we've talk, talk about we're just talking about my job classes that I used to give. I do sometimes via zoom, but not so many, not so often anymore, but people wanna know a lot about deep throating.

That was always a long, long topic. How can I deep throat? And that we would go through all these kinds of, you know, different things. And it was so fun, cuz usually I could see all my clients that were there learning how to do all this stuff. And I, they, I would give them all like a six inch colorful dildo and had balls and a suction cup.

And so they'd all put on the desk and they'd stand up and then I'd say, okay, see how far you can go down on the penis without warming up or anything. And they would like go down like, you know, half, half halfway down and then I'd say, okay, try this thing where you squeeze your left thumb with your left hand.

And now go down on and they would go all the way down to the balls and they're like, oh, you're magic. I was just like, ACU pressure technique, I guess when you focus on that, it relaxes your throat, but there's a bunch of ways, but everybody wanted to know that I'm like, look, nobody has to deep throat. Just men watch way too much porn mm-hmm  so we are just regular humans.

We're not, we're not like Olympic athletes of sex. Well, I mean, not all of us and , I am in my head.  so, we're just regular people, you know, we're not like deep throating, big dicks all night and all day, like porn stars do that's their job. They're getting paid to do that. So sometimes men get a little watch, too much of that kind of porn and not everybody can do not.

Everybody wants to do it. Not everybody should have to feel like they have to do it. Well, and I think one of those things too, is back in the two thousands kiddos that are listening now, mm-hmm,   that are gonna need some context. There was a very famous porn star named Jenna Jameson mm-hmm  and he would talk about magic spit.

And that is once you have a little bit of that gag reflex, you get this very viscous. Yeah. Good word. Yeah.   and so it it's just it's magic spit and that's what guys like go crazy for is that, that feeling of it's almost like silicone lube mixed with  water base. Like it's, it's fun. It's good. But it's very thick.

It's very. Just this different kind of saliva in your mouth. It's when you get to the back of the throat, it starts producing something that's much thicker than regular saliva and it works so well for all kinds of things. Mm-hmm,  whatever you're doing, it just works really great for that. So she, that's a good way to put it magic spit.

Yep. And so, and that's part of that hearing you gag hearing you, you know, and, and that goes all back to porn and all that, but there are some little tips and tricks from that where you get in, oh, Hey, we do find magic spit and that works out quite well. Or, yeah. Hey, I did learn how to do my gag reflex or whatever it may be.

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connection.com is the best place for all. You sexy people to find sexy toys. Check it out after this big sexy check and use code BSC 20 to score a 20% discount. So you can take some off before you get off. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. Rena, you know, about thick bit. I do. I know all about that.

I my deep road trick was like always be a little stoned because it gives you the munchies and I'll Sal, you know, that spit will come even faster. I personally like the gag part of it. Mm-hmm  I kind of do it a little for show sometimes depends on the person if they're worthy or not of the show.

But yeah, it's too small. It's hard to gag over it.  that's true. I've never had that problem. Oh, good.  I think it takes a certain kind of ambitious man to approach someone like me, you know? So yeah, never, never had an issue with that. Marina meet Merf Merf meet Marina, so nice to meet you. Mer. Thanks so much for having me today.

She's heard a lot about you.  a lot of people have way too much about me.

Yeah, so welcome. I'm glad you could join us tonight, but yeah, I was also known as like the blowjob queen and it's so funny. You said blowjob classes right off the bat. And I was like, I have had thousands of people ask me to do blowjob classes. The were my life. I had exes call me and ask me to teach their wives and you know, all that kind of stuff.

I, I have one guy who told me he couldn't come anymore without thinking about me at the last possible second. Aww. And that helped him conceive his son. Who's now 12. Wow. So good for him.  right. Yeah. It's it's fun. I, you have to enjoy doing it like any other part of sex. Yeah. You know, it's, it's a labor of, of.

Yeah. I, I hate for it to feel like a job for people, but I know it does to some people. Yeah. But like I said, in the beginning, hopefully it makes you feel empowered and powerful and beautiful. And just like you have something small, then you turn into something really big and hard. It's like, yeah. Yeah.

you have all the power and all of the magic.  absolutely. We were talking about sex furniture, last show, and, you know, that's something to think about in terms of an aid to help you with oral sex. Yeah. You know, there's stuff that you can use, like our, the jazz motion that we're gonna give away. Yeah. Putting that under somebody's hips so that you have better access.

Yeah. Especially if you're going down on someone with a VVA, because then it, it very much presents it closer to your face, gives you a little bit of an angle so that you're not having to tweak your neck as much while you're performing also in a Lingus is, you know, a people, everyone loves that. Well, not everyone loves it, of course, but it's becoming more and more popular it, although it is, although I feel like it's died down a little of bit as eating had like a big heyday in like it did 2019 and it's a little bit died down since then.

Yeah. There's some of us still storming through it. My partner is not receptive to. Will not didn't won't Nope. Won't budge on it. So I've, I've respectfully retired from it for the time being, you have to respect that. Yeah. But I love miss those days.  yeah. It's it did have its it had its stay, the classics always come back around though.

True. That  let me introduce Marina to everybody since you just are here and I don't not everybody knows who you are. Well, not yet.  I know it's coming. A lot of people know who you are. We have like 250 friends in common or something like that. But so Marina created a company called para robes. It T right.

Not do per I, I Seedo, but it can be either way, whatever you want you do. OK. I'm wearing one right now. She, yes. Beautiful Marina makes robes for larger bodies and like a robe that actually has a sash that will tie all the way around you. And the whole robe will close. If you get one in your size and it's flipping amazing.

I have two and I have a dress too, and I love my denim robes so much. It's really light. It's not heavy. I love to put on after the shower. And I like to like, like to be stick dry before I put my clothes on. And I just walk around in that robe and it's so heavenly and it has the comfortable sleeves.

The whole thing fits me. And I'm like a size 28 30 on the bottom. I'm like, I don't know what the boobs are, but they're like double DS and probably like a 50 around my chest. And it fits me on the top and the bottom and it, the black one has the sleeves that stay tight. So it doesn't catch on fire while you're cooking.

Brilliant. Yes. Anyway, Marina makes robes from size 14, 14 to 40. 40 that's. And if you, if someone really needs something higher than a 40, absolutely. You can accommodate them. Yeah. That's yes. I have my own sewing room now, so we can do more custom work, which I'm really excited about. And I'm also a former sex worker and did that for many years to pay the bills.

I was a Craigslist girl and oh yeah. Did that internationally as well. I worked in Italy for a long time and fun. I, I love sex. I'm very prolifically pansexual in poly. Yeah. And you know, it's, it's something that I've always gotten a lot of gratification. With on a lot of levels, you know, I think when I first started off, it was like very emotional.

I just wanted to be good at something. And now it's, you know, I'm very intimate with my partner. My partner is very much of a love maker. You know,  nice to have a little bit of both. Yeah. He can fuck when, when it comes down to it too. But you know, both of us are kind of in love portion. I was saying at the very beginning that girls, ladies, even men whoever's giving out bull jobs, don't do your best work on the first couple dates because once you do really good work on the first.

Couple dates. If it, if you stop seeing each other, they never delete your phone number. And then you'll get like calls and text messages, like 15 years later, like, holy crap, I still have them in my phone. So I'm like, don't answer.  come on, dude. It's been 15 years. So just save your good work for later.  that?

There's so much advice here that I should have gotten a long time ago. I have so many people, the last name do not answer in my phone. I know David do not answer. Steven do not answer, you know,  totally, totally. So we, we invited you tonight to talk about Our vibe of the week as we call it.

Yes. Brought it. I did. Thank you. She went and bought it today. Merf I did I by coastal my partner lives in New York. I live in Los Angeles and I left mine in New York. I just got back to New York early last week and I was like, oh, where is it? Oh, it's not in my bedside. Stand crap.  so I have a nice little sex toy shop.

That's like three blocks from my house. Just ran over there, like 10 minutes before they close and, you know, supported a small local business. Nice. Yay. And the small, independent sex toy businesses need our help right now. They really do's  pandemic was really hard on them. The ones that are like Adam and Eve and stuff they're doing okay.

You know, but the ones that are in me. They're struggling. It sucks because that's where you could get some amazing sex education. Right. Is the sex toy stores? Yeah. Oh absolutely. The employees said sex toy at sex shops like that very well informed the sales reps know that informing the employees properly means more sales for them.

And they're people who are passionate about it. They, you certainly don't work there cuz it pays well, you know, they they're there because it's fun. It's a fun job. And, and that kinda stuff, I used to work at a cheese shop and it was pretty much the same thing. You know, , I'm passionate about cheese, so very passionate about cheese sexto and cheese and cheese.

exactly. Exactly. So, and then you also mentioned that you have a Lelo that kind of gives suction too, that you like. Yeah. Okay. Let's talk about both. So you'll see. You won't see cuz this is a podcast, but there's there's bite marks of we we're videotaping it too. Oh, okay. Good bite bite marks. My dog loves to get a hold of my little sucky things.

They just smell so interesting and mom seems to be having so much fun with it. So she loves to go. She she'll open a drawer and grab it and run off. And it's the pones she particularly loves this one. Cuz what does that look like? It just is a dog toy, you know? Oh yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm  so anyways, yes. They're similar, but D.

The Lilo and the the rose. And first of all, I wanna say I have like a small side of average size clip and so I don't have a size issue when it comes to the opening of these. Now these are both sucky toys. I call him sucky vibe toys. Yeah. But I will say that the Lilo has more of a suction action and the rose has more of a sucky vibey action.

Do you, do you, Marin, do you know the name of the Lilo toy? Oh, no. I wanna make sure I put it on my website. I'll look it up. That's a good idea. I bought it from shag in.  from dirty Lola who, who works there. And I just kind of ran in, was like, do you guys have a rose? Cuz Lila, my dog had just eaten one of my rose toys  is the middle of the pandemic.

And I was like, do you guys have a rose? And, and they're like, no, we don't carry those. But we had the Lelo, which is, you know, three times as expensive. And  I was gonna say, you know,  yeah, mm-hmm  so I got that and I'm happy with it. It is a really well made toy. It has a lot more the Lilo has three little buttons on it, which have a little texture to the them.

So you can find them without looking at it once you know it, you can do it with your eyes closed. You press the middle one to get it started. You press the back one from where I hold it to make it go stronger and then the minus side. And then if you press the middle again, it has different percussive.

Shows, you know, it has little, you know, like da, da, da. Yeah. Yeah. And then it has ones where it builds up and then it pauses and then it goes in and you know, it just, I like the toys that have that speed of sex where it's like, oh yeah, that speed. I like that speed. Real quick real quick. Marinna Merf tell me which, which sex toy do you have?

You have the satisfier? Yes, I have the satisfier. It has wait, I think I have the, yeah, I have the satisfiers. Not the womanizer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have the womanizer and the satisfier. That's right. I don't like the name womanizer it's it's German. It just, they didn't realize how it translates in English.

Interesting. It's bad. It's terrible. You would know that. I looked at the name of the Lilo and it's the CILA S I L a. Okay. I just wanna make sure I have it on my website. I love all little products. They're very pricey, but they have a warranty 10 year warranty, I think. Yeah. Yeah. And if you've ever had a sex toy blow up on, you you'd know to buy quality buy name brand, you would.

Yes. I had an off brand portable magic wand. One time that caught a hotel room bed on fire. Lovely and CED off a bunch of my pubes while it was at it. So yeah, we, we we've, they're worth the investment. You're worth the investment.  self-care so you don't, so you don't steer your off, you know? Oh shit. No, I know.

I always wanted get a hood piercing, but I'm like, fucking love my clitoris. I don't wanna mess anything up. Yeah. Not gonna do it. I was like, no, I just, I, I, I love my CLEs.  yep. Can't mess it up. Exactly. I, they look so pretty though. They, they do look pretty, I I'm in the constant state of arousal anyways. And so the idea of having something down there rubbing me all day, I'm just like, I'm already like mostly out of my mind, sex crazed all the time.

Anyways.  so the idea of doing something that's gonna do that more. I, I just don't have the time right now in my life. Maybe someday, maybe when I retire, I'll get that head piercing. I always thought of she's running a small business. You know, there's so much to do when you have a small business. It's not easy.

People want shit from you all the time. And when you have a small business, people can reach you through Twitter. Facebook, Instagram, email TikTok, like LinkedIn. And you're like, people want answers and they want answer from you. And yeah, I know she's, she's busy running her rope company. She can't masturbate all day long.

I can't. Okay. Although I do, if I ever say I'm doing a self-care day, I'm taking a high dose edible, I'm closing the door and I'm buzzing myself into oblivion all day, all, all day. I mean, perfect. I don't do it every day, but you know, a day like that, I like to knock out like. 12 to 15 orgasms. So they just take a totally stone nap, you know?

Oh, yes. It's a good day. Bubble baths are for suckers. Yes. Satiated and stoned. Yeah. Bubble baths.  I, I was just gonna ask if you, do you have any problems with like reaching with those toys cuz they they're very small from what you've shown, you know, they look like they're probably the size of your Palm, any problems with that?

Not for me, but I don't carry a lot of my weight in the front the way that some people do. I think if I had more of an apron belly, it might be, I mean, I do have an apron belly, but I don't have that much of one. I like, as I like to say yet,  yeah. Always coming down the road. I know that. So, but I don't right now, right now I kind of like, stick it there and then I just kind of use my thigh to navigate it while I, you know, use my hands on my nipples.

Or hold my phone if I'm watching porn or right. You know, anything like that. So, I found that that works really well. I can kind of like there's enough, like juiciness and movement down there that I can kind of angle it. However I want it. They're pretty easy to use they're sex toys. They're never that hard to figure out strap-on are hard to figure out  yes.

Right. Next toys. Not so much, but I, cuz I have a larger, lower belly. And so for me, I would probably just have to grab it and just like, get it suction on there and then lay down because of course my thighs touch. Yeah. So my thighs can do all kinds of stuff. Yeah. You know, with those toys. But my, my satisfiers is kind of has a shorter handle.

My womanizer has the big long panel, but they don't make that one anymore. They called it their plus size womanizer without I was in love, but they stopped making it. We need to petition them to bring it back. I know. Right. If you bring them clients, they'll do it.  right. You know, you can say we have a petition of, of 30,000 vol fat S who really, really wanted to bring that shit back.

He'll do it. I, yeah, that's true. Maybe. Yeah. Now do you have do you find more pleasure when your partner uses it with you or when you use it by yourself? You know, a little bit of both we have not really delved into sex toys that much. My partner is absolutely miraculous with his mouth. He, he is a, he's an asshole.

Oftentimes he's not like the greatest person to hang out with. He's very stubborn and he's very argumentative. He's, he's half Italian and it's just, it's the verbal half, you know? And so he is but he's a hell of a pus eater. He's a F he's a pussy monster. He is. And, and that's coming from the blowjob queen.

I met my match, you know? Right. And it's hard to quit that shit. , you know? Yeah. But it's like, you're stigmatized, but you're tongue traumatized. I'm tongue traumatized. He may become 57 times in one day. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And I wasn't sore afterwards. Yeah. He's what he's doing. He's he's UN he's. If I cloned myself and went down on myself as my clone, I could not do better than him.

Nice. Yeah. Wow. I will say the satisfier and the womanizer do fit between you and your partner are a little easier. Yeah. It's just like, you can just there's no, doesn't get in the way of the, so we've just recently started bringing this in, like in the last couple of months, we've started bringing in toys mostly because I'll start myself off with it when he's like, not totally in the mood, cuz we're, we're like almost four years into things, you know, we're not in the honeymoon phase anymore.

So I'm and I. I'm. Like 20 years younger than he is. So I, my sex drive is like, well, we should be having it every day, if not five times a day. Right. And he's like, I love you, sweetie. How about once a week, if that, and I'm like, I'll die, you know? And so I've now my strategy now is to start myself off and then he starts hearing the wet noises and the, with his back turn to me in the bed.

Wow. This is getting really into it. This is real sex people. This is how it really is when you can barely stand other, it is real life when you're keeping it together for the dog. Right. You know? And so, so he'll hear the wet noises and then he can't resist, you know, he's, he, can't, I'm a pain in the ass too, just so we're.

The macaroni noises, the macaroni noises. That's right. And, and the warm smell of CITAs, right. He's rising up. Who the air Rena, have you seen that one meme that's like from the point of view of a lesbian and she they're like you straight girls or you girls that deal with men, you must be so like, why, what are you, what is it about it?

Like you are so committed. I was like, if there was a choice, you wouldn't be doing that. And, and I'm pansexual. I mean, I've been with all kinds of partners, but I've never met anyone as good as him in bed. It's painful to say that. In fact, I tried to break up with him one time and he said to me you know, every person you fought for the rest of your life, no matter how good it is, you're gonna have a little moment afterwards where you think to yourself so that wasn't Chris.

Are you ready for that? Yeah, really?

he gets high marks from everybody. Huh? Very manipulative. So yeah, he's, he's right about that. It's hard to walk away from the best sex of your life. Yeah, definitely for sure. But these things do make it, I think it's possible if I have like four more of these and I kept in charge up all the time.  well, I, I mean, everybody wants suction and vibration on their clitoris, don't they?

I mean, like, to me, that's the ultimate. And then if you have the penis working with it all too, like, oh my gosh, it's weird. Cuz I don't like sex toys that penetrate that much. I used to have, I don't use that many either like that wasn't they, it was called like Laura's dog or something on Amazon. It went super viral for, for being, you know, it was like, you would like see the face of God if you used it.

And it had.  it had a thing inside of you that would kind of thump on your G spot while also sucking on your cl mm-hmm . And it's all held together with a little bit of tension, you know? So it really pushes up into your GS spot, the same way someone who knows what they're doing would do. And that thing used to make me go cross side.

I mean, I would have spasms it that's is that the point where I really use it anymore? Cuz it's such a hard orgasm for me. I can't do anything else for the rest of the day. I can't speak straight. I just sit on the couch and watch SpongeBob. You know, you just depopulated the reviews on Amazon are gold.

Like they're hilarious. Pure gold. I need to remember the name. I do sell that toy. I think it's called Lisa Lisa's dog. Well, I don't know why it's called dog either. I'm likes so disturbing it disturb. I know, I'll find, I'll find the name of it so I can put it in the show notes, but yeah, that the, we have to get you onto the Amazon link Merf cuz the it's comedy gold in the, in the it's hilarious.

I I've never even heard of this. Oh, it's crazy. We're talking like tens of thousands of reviews and they're all like what it did to them. Like, you know, I sold my house, I sold my car. I moved like this crazy shit. Cuz people are like, oh I'm getting evicted because of repeated noise complaints and stuff like that.

that's awesome.  but that it went viral viral years ago. Yeah. And it's worth it. I mean, I, it really was. I mean, it was just something about the inside and the outside and the pressure that it put on on you internally. Mm-hmm  nice. Yeah. It was good. It was good. But like clear your schedule, you know? Yes.  I think it's very fun.

Merf with this with my partner. Like if he uses it on me. Yeah. I like that. It's really cuz it's kind of a surprise. Cause then I don't really know, you know, I have this one bullet that has like three different pulsations and sometimes when I'm going down on him, I'll give him the controller and then he can control with his, you know, or my favorite or just a, and that's kind of fun.

And that's like the womanizer, when he uses me on me, he can control how it vibrates and stuff. So it's like, you know, right, right. And it gets you so close and then you can't because he changes it and then you get, and then he figures out, okay, this is what she needs. And then I'm done, you know? Cause there's, there's nothing like giving a woman, a little orgasm or a big orgasm and then having sex with her.

Yes, it is on, yeah. It's like donkey con oh my gosh. It's it's all we need. Just gimme one little baby one. I'm begging for it. Vaginal. Magic spit. Yeah.  yes, exactly. It, it very true. Just things get so en goed down there and for people, especially people with larger Members they, that is such APL. And I'm someone I love giving oral sex too.

VVA. Ha sense. Yeah. When everything gets all swollen and then Gorge like that and hot and steamy down there, I mean, anyone can look Alet, but it's only when you get into the third or fourth time around that. It's just, and it makes me like, why was I born? Was I a cock , you know, I was, I just wanna decide, you know, there's this great movie called talk to her.

It's a, an Alva film, Pedro Malva. And there's a mini movie within the movie. It's about Wolf fighter and women in coma and all this kind of stuff. But there's a mini movie where this guy it's called, like the tiny lover and he, he takes a pot and he shrinks him. And he dives in, he, he realizes it's incurable.

He's not ever gonna come back to his original size. So he, he kills himself by diving into his woman's pussy and just giving her one last final orgasm with his whole body in there, like pounding on the walls. And they shoot this with like a giant foam vagina that he goes into  and it's like slick all over him.

And he's just like, this is it. This is the big time, you know? And he dives into it's great. It's worse seeing the whole movie just for that. I'm gonna put it in the show notes. I've never heard of it, but thank you for that. That's amazing. It's a very trade thing. I, I will see of content warning. There is a scene it's it's not shown, but there's implied.

Non-consensual sex implied in there in that movie. That's not the non-consensual sex, but it is in the movie.  thank you for that. Oh, you're so awesome. Marina, tell everybody a little bit more about your company and how you know, I know people sometimes go, why is it so expensive? Because it's not fast fashioned people.

Yes. It's not target. Okay. They're made for us 14 to 40 mm-hmm , they're beautiful. They're gonna last you you're probably your lifetime sometimes. So, and I honestly, I've never had a robe. The only time I had a robe that fit me is I bought one slip was in the dorms. You kind of have to have a robe. And I bought like a men's robe and it, it fit all awkward and stuff.

You know, it was like all on the sash sucked. So I got one that 52, you know, I it's amazing to me that people really expect me to use like, you know, indentured servants and slave labor to make my stuff so that they can pay a little bit less. Like, you know, if you're gonna treat yourself to one, shut out super luxury item.

You know, like I would never wear a coure gown. I would I'd have no use for a trench coat. I have no use for thigh high leather boots. It's not gonna happen. I'm very arthritic. Right. And , you know, so if I was gonna spend real money on one thing, it would be a back rope, cuz I would get so much use out of that.

And I want it to be super well made. I want it to last forever and I want to fit me perfectly. And you know, my, my clients have several of our robes now. I I'm, I'm telling you every single person I believe is a robe person. They just haven't met the right robe yet. You know, it is such an amazing, and I it's weird.

I really am kind of an expert on it now. Like I really know how to make a good robe and I love doing it and yeah. I want you to tell people how you find your material. Oh we use fabric remnant. We purchased them from this wonderful little shop in downtown. It's not little, it's a giant warehouse in downtown LA called rag finders.

They've been there. I think since like the sixties, it was started by this old hippie dude who was about sustainability before sustainability was even a word. And you know, so basically they take fabrics that are left over from other productions or things that were not used within a production or things that.

Purchased ahead of time and, you know, whatever it costs, a lot of money takes a lot of care to store a fabric long term. So it benefits them to sell it to a remnants dealer. Who's just gonna take it off their hands, so they don't have to pay to store it and keep it climate controlled and keep it pest free and all that kind of stuff.

It loses its value very quickly. It's not treated properly. So this keeps it out of a landfill, you know, and, and I do pretty small quantities because, you know, in any given launch, I'll only have, you know, like 150 to 200 robes that I'm selling. So, I, I only buy a couple hundred yards at a time. I don't need to have 20,000 yards of anything.

Which means I also get more interesting things like, you know, I'm wearing a green velvet right now and in the whole shop, there was only like 14 yards. Of this screen velvet. So I didn't even release it. I made three robes, one for me, and one for two, you know, two for friends of mine and they never even saw the line of day in paradise.

And so it's nice to be able to use things up and give 'em a second life and, and turn them into something that's gonna be very. Loved by, by whoever receives them. So, and who's, who's sewing them. We are sew locally. We were sewn by a sewing room that was own by Jen Wilder. Who's the co of the plus plus we've recently moved on from Jen Wilder and I'm now being sewn with the same sewing room that does sh LA Chan LA is a gender neutral and size inclusive lingerie brand handmade here in Los Angeles.

Oh. So we're kind of partnering with each other for the sewing room and kind of, they have full-time employees and then I'm coming in and kind of grabbing them part-time and, and, you know, that's how, that's the most dependable way to get, you know, ethical workers is just know the people who hire them and be there every day.

you know? Yeah. So, well, yeah, they're not, they're not in a sweat shop. They're getting paid at a livable wage. Right. And in air conditioning, The actual air conditioning in Los Angeles, which is very expensive place to live in California. And it's just, I think it's so it's worth every penny because I too, there's not a lot of stuff that's out there.

That's not fast fashion. I, I don't, I only know the other person. I know that is non-fat fashion is smart glamor, right? Yeah. Well there's copper union and oh, copper union. Yeah. There's, there's a lot of brands that are now doing it, popping up. My friend, Amy is starting a line called joy toast, which I can't wait this really super fun, bright prints.

Going up to, I think like an ax. And you know, I I'll tell you this. I trust fat clothing made by fat people. Yes. Thank you. It's such a difference. I just don't think someone who's not fat can get it the same way. Someone who is cause we know by wearing this stuff every day for decades of our life, what's wrong with every single thing we've ever owned, you know, mm-hmm  and I just don't wanna wear t-shirts anymore.

You know, I just don't wanna wear a big t-shirt to bed. I don't wanna have to wear, you know, whatever, but there's no such thing as an oversized C shirt when you're a four or five X, you know, so, you know, just fits. Yeah. So I'm having a lot of fun. I'm connecting with so many amazing people. I've really found community through this and, and it feels great.

It's it's such a gratifying job. It's I, I think I like it even more than being a sex worker. I miss being a sex worker every day, but I think paradigm makes me even happier. Yeah, it must be very fulfilling. I know. I get a lot of nice comments from people. Thank you so much. And you know, and I also through the podcast, you know, we really need this.

Thank you. Yeah. It feels really good to know that you're helping other fat people out there. Absolutely. Absolutely. I have. I I don't listen to a lot of podcasts cuz I never, I always wanna join in the conversation and it's really difficult for me not to talk  so this is perfect. Good. Yeah. We're excited to have you, so tell everybody how they can find you online.

We are Parado robes.com, P E R I D OT, R O B E s.com. We're on Instagram at Pardo underscore robes. We're on Facebook, you know, paradigm robes. It's a, not a super common name. So if you look up paradigm robes, you'll find us we're right there. And we do launches every few months. We have the deep summer collection coming out.

It's gonna have a ho robe, which is a very short. Slutty robe with a big slit up the side, and it is very sexy. It's gonna be coming in like this super amazing versa SAE print, which is named after Sasse, west icon and, and sexy, sexy person. And I also, we're gonna have some velvet ho robes and some tie dye ones, you know, a little bit of something for everyone.

And I'm just so excited that to go with your tra bag. That's right.  I think we're gonna talk about tra bag one day. Aren't we gonna, we have that on the list of things to talk about what needs to go into a really good tramp bag that is such an important thing. Snacks. Yeah. Snacks. Cause I can't depend on anyone who I'm fucking to have proper snacks at their place.

And I just don't, I don't like door dashing at two o'clock in the morning, you know? Yeah. I I've gone to bed hungry way too many times cuz I work up an appetite. I'm working hard back here. Exactly.

awesome. Thank you so much, Marina. We're just gonna go through a couple things. We're gonna talk about the giveaway special announcement that we have which we're really excited about. So Merf, do you wanna talk about the giveaway and how people can get, become a part of that? Yeah. What we're giving away, we are giving away a jazz motion, liberator pillow, and we talked about it in our sex furniture episode, which is the last episode we posted.

Yeah. And it is a very sturdy yet compact pillow that you can use literally just throughout your daily life, but when having sex it will. Elevate and spread. Yeah, it gives some, some sturdy ground you know, actually have some sexy time with maybe some moral sex or if you wanted to get a little bit deeper with penetration nutrition.

Yeah. Or if you were having anal and you wanted to flip over and put it under like your hips, belly apron kind of area. So, this is from liberator. They are one of our favorite brands because they are super high quality products. You don't have to have a plus size version with their stuff, but they do sell plus size types of furniture.

This is a very easy way to have a little bit of fun, but also maybe just have a little back pillow that you can put behind your neck having a, a rough day. And we are giving that away on our through our newsletter. So if you sign up at www.bigsexychat.com a little screen will pop up and ask you if you want to join our newsletter.

And then if, if you miss that screen, for whatever reason, you can choose the newsletter on our webpage, enter your email address, and that will automatically put you into win. Now, there are some extra ways that you can get an entry. If you comment and share on Facebook and Instagram, is that correct? Just comment, comment on Facebook or Instagram, you get, you can get two more entries into the Yeah.

So, I mean, why not? We don't have a huge pull of people. We're getting bigger. No, on our newsletter. So you have a very good chance of potentially winning this really fantastic item. I've owned my liberator for about 10 years. And it's, I, it is, if the house is on fire, I would grab it and run out. I love that thing so much.

They, they hold up to big bodies, so they really do it. Hasn't aged today. And it's been very well used.  mine too. And washer dryer. It just, it goes in there and it comes out. Perfect. Yeah. Yep. I meant to mention that Marina ha you really wanna get a Marina's newsletter because that's how you find out about things that are getting ready to drop.

If you really want one of those, you wanna be on the newsletter cuz you can be first to the website and I've done this before, where I'm like on it. I'm up at two in the morning here. Newsletter comes out. I read, oh bam. I'm buying that one. We sell out very quickly and consistently. So we keep 'em hungry.

So happy for you. It's so exciting. Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you guys so much for having me and thank you for doing this. This is so important. My pleasure, our pleasure. Awesome. Thank you, Marina. Thanks Ashley. Who's in the background taking care of everything. I will see you later, alligator. Well, after a while, crocodile, I'll see you polar bear.

So where do you find your favorite fatties? We'll check out big, sexy chat.com. You can find our podcast on any major streaming service. Just remember to like subscribe and review. You can find us at big, sexy chat on Facebook and Insta and at big sexy chat pod on Twitter, you can find me. At Merfy girl review on Twitter and at Merfy girl adventures on Instagram, Chrystal tell 'em where they can find you.

Sure they can find me on Twitter at bliss connection, and they can find me on Facebook as KBY girl eat, download us every other Sunday and listen, whenever you want.