Joyful Inclusive Movement: Wendy's Journey to Fat-Positive Fitness

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Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat.

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I'm Crystal, I'm Murph.

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We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month.

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We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community cannabis, cbd you name it.

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We're going to talk about it.

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We are very excited to have you a part of our community.

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Welcome and enjoy.

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On this episode of Big Sexy Chat, murph and Crystal are joined by Wendy, the founder of Joyful, inclusive Movement.

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Wendy is a fat, positive personal trainer that specializes in functional strength and conditioning.

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Wendy is creating movement spaces that are truly authentic, accessible, inclusive, safe and effective.

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Let's move our hands together and welcome Wendy to Big Sexy Chat.

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Hey, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat.

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My name is Crystal.

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I'm the co-host of Big Sexy Chat.

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I'm here with my co-host, murph, and we have an amazing guest today.

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Her name is Wendy.

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I'm here with my co-host, murph, and we have an amazing guest today.

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Her name is Wendy, and Wendy has a company called MyJamrocks and we're so excited to have you here, wendy.

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Thanks for being with us.

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Thank you.

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Yeah, thank you.

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Thank you for having me.

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We're glad to have you, so I know of you through a friend who is Emily yes, emily, who is on.

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Who is Emily yes, emily, who is on Fat Sacramento.

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And since, yeah, she's fantastic and we're going to get her on the pod this year too.

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But we had kind of shared some discussion because you went up to FatCon and we were up there recording and I was hoping I'd get to meet you in person because I'd been following you on Instagram and we didn't get a chance to connect, and so I was like, oh, we have an opportunity to get Wendy on the pod.

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So we got to talk about all the stuff that you do and the business that you have and it's just incredible.

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So you want to start us off by telling us a little bit about you and what you do.

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Yeah, my name is Wendy Welsher and I've been a coach movement coach for a little over 10 years now.

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Emily, she was my very first client.

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She's wonderful, but anyhow.

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So it was movement that I was doing that I turned into a passion, because once I got into it, 2018 is when I came to terms with my eating disorder and kind of just started working with Superfit Hero.

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I was an ambassador, a sponsored trainer by them, and like really embracing movement that your body is capable of doing, but then also celebrating that of doesn't matter the size of your body, just celebrate and move.

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And so I kind of started slowly going into that.

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When I came in terms with my eating disorder, I went to my boss before I even went to my husband and I told him and I said, hey, just wanted to let you know I have an eating disorder.

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And the first question that he asked me was well, are you ever going to be able to weigh yourself again?

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And I was like, not right now.

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It's a trigger.

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Well, what happens?

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If your clients want to lose weight, then that's them.

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That's not me, I said, but that's going to be an unintentional thing that happens with them getting stronger, but it's not going to be my focus Well, that's a whole different topic for another day but it really made me realize that maybe I wasn't in the right environment and also, having ADHD, you tend to also stick with toxic environments, because that's just what we're used to, I guess because of the trauma.

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And so I finally then, in 2020, was able to turn my notice in and really live my mission and didn't realize how toxic of an environment it was until I left.

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What were you doing then, wendy?

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I was still doing fitness, but I was a group instructor and I also.

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It was at a small boutique gym, so I was working for somebody.

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So I didn't realize my clients had come to me and said that they felt fat shamed and that the owner was always either glaring at them or making faces or being rude, whatever it may be.

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And, of course, I didn't see it, because I also am like oh no, you know, he's just having a bad day, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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But most likely that's probably what it was, and I was just too blind to see it.

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And so now, like when I was gone, it was two weeks before the world shut down is when I turned my notice in.

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It was like perfect timing, and I finally had enough confidence, because I started going to therapy and my therapist started helping me with, like creating boundaries, and I just let him talk and found like the only reason why he was really, really mad at me was because I didn't want to be a cleaner anymore, because I was cleaning the gym for like extra cash or whatever.

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But I wanted to stop because that's not my job.

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Like I'm a movement coach, personal trainer, like let me be what I'm supposed to be.

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But I'm sure also, too, I went on birth control and you know it just completely rocked my system.

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Um, you know, I gained a whole bunch of weight.

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My mood was all over the place, but that's also like I stopped taking that.

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And that's when I decided to go to Kaiser and figure out what was going wrong, cause I'm like am I just batshit crazy?

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Or like what's what's going on with me?

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And so that's when everything came to terms and then I was realizing that, oh, it's not me, it's my environment that I was in.

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Yep.

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So, wendy, it took me until I was 49 to learn boundaries, and my therapist told me that we're attracted to things that are familiar and comfortable.

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So if you see things that feel like what you're used to, that's what you're drawn to, because it feels easy and, by the way, you know, mirka's a therapist oh yeah, awesome.

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But yeah, tell us more about your therapy and how that's gone for you so far.

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I just met with my therapist last week.

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She's my ED therapist, but then I was going to like a behavioral one too, like that they were doing life and eating disorder stuff.

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But now, like I feel like I have kind of a good grips on life but a lot of my ADHD and eating disorder stuff is starting to come up.

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So I didn't feel like I belonged then, without being when I wasn't being diagnosed or when I wasn't diagnosed.

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Now that I have been diagnosed, I'm still feeling like I don't belong, and so that is one of the missions too, that I wanted to create a safe place for people to experience movement, because I know I wasn't in a safe space, especially for my clients if they were feeling that you know, the odor was giving them, just being rude to them because of the way they looked or whatever it may be.

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But, um, I work outside of or inside of my house, in my garage, um, so it's a lot less intimidating walking up to a house versus a brick and mortar.

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And then I also have two dogs and they're really good emotional support dogs too for everybody, especially when people get down to their level.

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So Zoe's very empathetic for sure.

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That does make it a little more of a welcoming environment when you have little pups to meet you when you're going to work out body liberation and and with my through myself, through therapy and learning, to uh get really in tune with trusting myself and like really focusing on, like stretching.

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Okay, body trust is, um, a lot of things that diet culture takes away from us, because we're most of us are disassociated from our body in the first place, whether we have adhd, whether whether we have had traumatic experiences in the past or whatever.

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I would say most of us, or a lot of myself and my clientele, are of those backgrounds, and so one of the things that I like to do is create body trust so that they can have that as a tool to like, if they're at work one day and it's like, oh, my lower back's hurting, or I just fell and I'm hurting because you're probably going to feel it in the next couple of days, some muscles are going to come up, and so at least through stretching, you can one almost help yourself before you know like instant movement, before having to go to a doctor or chiropractor or masseuse.

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You're able to empower yourself and do things first within yourself and then take it from there.

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I so appreciate, first of all, that you're looking at this from a trauma-informed lens, because so much of the issues that individuals have around any kind of movement while being fat or of a larger size, however they want to identify.

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Really you're challenging so many traumatic experiences that you've had to be in that space and, like you said, be present in your body and just recognize those types of things.

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I'm curious hearing that you are having the issue with the eating disorder, having the toxic environment and it all being really centered around this experience of trying to navigate movement and joyful movement and be in your body and that sort of thing.

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What were some of the issues that kind of came up and how did you overcome those to continue to move?

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I know you've sent out newsletters about these types of things, so I'm just curious of like, how do you get that motivation when that just kind of like you're in the trauma of it all?

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or you don't know how to, but slamming down your pillow can be some of the best release of that energy and you could envision, if you want it to be a person.

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You could envision anything.

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It could be a feeling, it could be something that happened in your past.

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But you're slamming it out and I know it's just a pillow, but like you could even do it sitting down on your couch, just slamming it down.

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A lot of people don't know how to help themselves or look or how to like modify anything.

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It's like if it says this is what the instruction is, they don't know how to create it to where it would work for their body.

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Another thing that happens too is that movement takes time.

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Beating a recovery is not going to help you.

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It's going to one set you up for injury again and then you'll get down on yourself.

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You know, like that cycle of shame, that cycle of guilt, and then, like maybe a traumatic experience gets triggered and then here you are all over again.

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A lot of folks don't understand which I try to enrich them and educate them that we didn't get fat overnight.

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Whatever it may be hormones, I know.

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Each year I feel like since I was in sixth grade.

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Each year I gained 15 pounds.

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That's just how my body has been, and so I move.

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I do what I can I eat to fuel my body.

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I can tell when I don't feel myself efficiently.

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I see it in my recovery, I see it in my lifts.

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I'm rehabbing an injury right now and, don't get me wrong, I want to be out there on the platform.

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But I am taking my time because I want to make it to American Open finals in December.

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But if I were to rush through it, I'm not going to get there because I'm just going to keep re-injuring myself over and, over and over again before we get too far along, I want to go back to the sliming the pillow thing.

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How did you learn that?

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Or where did you learn that?

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Where did that come from?

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Therapy?

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Because I feel like that's the kind of thing that also works really well for people that have a lot of anxiety, who get spinning themselves.

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You know, and I try to share these kinds of things, like with my partner because he has a lot of anxiety Like if you move it through your body, right, if you're shaking it off or slamming something, don't be violent.

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But you know, it just helps to be a um online platform that I was a part of it was for marginalized folks.

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And I remember now we were uh and and uh I was one of the instructors on there and they dissolved it and they didn't give us an answer.

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So that's where I came up with Joyful Inclusive Movement.

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But in Join I was like, okay, you can't buy anything.

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This is when all the weights you couldn't get weights and they were super expensive because of COVID.

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So I was like, okay, how can I do stuff that we did in class with the prepper equipment?

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How can we just take household items and make weights?

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You know, challenge yourself just a little bit better, because you don't have to have weights Like we can.

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You can that kitty litter or the dog food bag or the soap laundry detergent.

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And then I was like ball slams, pillow.

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And so pillow slams are my absolute favorite because you could even do them in an apartment living on the second floor, so.

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But I didn't realize that those are one of the things that can be somatic and I know there's somatic therapy but also like coming from a trauma informed space too, of like being able to release that energy and feeling good about it and you're also doing movement.

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I'm curious.

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So just like for context with me, it's one of the things I've struggled with probably the most in my life is that I don't find joy in exercising.

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I don't even like calling it exercising because I've had so many traumatic things around that, and so I feel like I'm not going to be good at it, so why try?

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I'm not going to be good at it, so why try?

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I don't you know like.

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So I find all these reasons basically not to do it.

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But I know that I feel better when I do the you know, and I like have a better outcome when I feel like I have more stamina, when I feel like I, you know, just have these other things that are benefits from it.

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How many like would you say, of your folks that come to your studio, your program?

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Like, how many of the folks that seek you out come to your program, would you say kind of have that sort of same scenario, like traumatized by the presidential fitness exam and like, from then on, you know, like, went to the gym and had a horrible experience and from then on you know like, how many folks would you say like are the type of individuals that are seeking you out?

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I'd say almost all.

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I also try to encourage people to let them know.

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If you don't feel awkward doing it, then you're not doing it right.

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Because, like we typically do three rounds the first round, it's got to look the way that it's gonna look because you are just doing the movement for the first time.

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The second round, you get a little bit of that muscle memory kicking in.

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And then the third round, you're like, okay, cool, like that's where the confidence comes in.

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You're like, and it's you got to think of confidence too.

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It's not just like mentally confident.

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Your muscles are confident also because they have, they are doing what you just told them to do.

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So if you break it down that way because confidence, you know it's also a neurological your brain's talking to your body like breathing.

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We're confident in ourselves with breathing.

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We have to do it every day and then, but movement, it's just like one of those things like you can, so you can fill your journal or your post-it notes or whatever of like okay, I picked up a 40-pound bag of dog food today, okay, cool.

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Or okay, I felt awkward doing this, but I don't hurt afterwards, so I feel pretty good about that.

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Okay, good.

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So it's taking those little things but celebrating them, like my husband and I were doing yard work today, I'm surprised, literally, because you know, feeling overwhelmed with ADHD, it's like, oh shit, this is going to take forever.

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And then when afterwards, just getting it over with, I'm like, oh, that only took us about a half an hour and so little things like that.

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That also creates confidence of like, oh, it's a chore, I don't like doing it, but afterwards you feel good.

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But yeah, I understand not having a place to feel good because diet culture a lot of people either overexercise or they have.

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In the past I was part of that too, and so I had over COVID.

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I had a long time trying to figure out what works for me and I know it wasn't self-led Like I still hired a trainer, my buddy and I have to hold myself accountable.

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And a lot of times paying for somebody that I have noticed through just like patterns of, I guess, behavior is that when somebody is paying for something, they want to get the most out of it.

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So they show up.

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Now, if you are lax with them and you give them, hey, well, try this option and see if it works for you.

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They tend to not follow through with it, and so then they're doing themselves a disservice.

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And then I feel that I'm doing themselves a disservice because I'm trying to help but I'm having a lot, you know, like there's pushback, so there's coach, like we're all going to have a time or two that, as much as we're trying to help somebody, we could only lead a horse to water and we could only be encouraging as much as possible.

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And sometimes they want to say that they did it versus them really doing it.

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You know, like, if they're not getting instant results when we're trying to, this is something that you're going to be doing for the rest of our lives.

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Not meaning like, oh, you're going to do rigid, you know A, b, c and D for the rest of your life.

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No, you're going to do movement for the rest of your life.

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It looks like gardening, it looks like doing dishes, it looks like playing with the kids, taking your dogs for a walk, kayaking, and then you could even look at it, too, as like, okay, I feel good about doing all those.

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What about doing stuff?

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now, maybe let's do 10 while I'm sitting on the toilet doing just 10 curls or like you know slowly adding in little bits and pieces that way.

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Great idea.

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I was going to say for me exercise was done to work things off, work punishments, or it always felt like I was doing it because I it felt like um didn't feel good.

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It felt like it was a punishment, I guess is the best word I can say.

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I don't know how to change that in my brain.

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I'm so just not.

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I mean, I always say I eat to feed my brain because my brain needs to be very, my work is very precise.

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So I get that and I do get that when I move I feel better.

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But I just so like, I just feel so negative to me.

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I just can't seem to get out of that mindset.

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And so what you're kind of saying is like why don't we instead celebrate the little things we did, like I washed dishes, like you said, or I went to the grocery store and I walked around the grocery store, or I was doing some gardening.

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So we should count that as our exercise and part of it and kind of like, celebrate it so we can turn it make it like a paradigm shift.

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Yeah, absolutely so.

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There's, um, a harvard professor that did a study about.

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She studied 81 hotel maids and, uh, the premise of her study was, um, when she interviewed all of them, they all thought that they didn't quote, unquote, work out or move their bodies Like, do you work out?

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No.

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And so they all all of them said no, and she couldn't believe it.

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She was astounded because maids are pushing, pulling, you know, doing the sheet like, sweating their ass off, doing all of the things with however many rooms that they clean every day.

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And so what she did was the experimental group.

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She educated them of like look, movement is movement, and educated them a little bit more on like fueling your body to eat and doing like little stuff there.

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And then there was the placebo group, so to speak.

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Well, at the end of her study with the group that found out like, oh, counting my job as movement, they found their stress levels went down, unintentionally maybe, lost like five pounds, I know like, and had like a better relationship with food than the other folks.

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There was no change.

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And so, like it's when you and that's the one thing to like diet culture only says you need to exercise, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and so I think that is like we got to change the narrative on that.

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We got to change the narrative on what is movement.

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We got to change the narrative on what movement looks like, of what, um, skinny is not the word, you know, it's not the thin, thin, all be all, it's not.

00:25:36.008 --> 00:25:50.231
That's not what health is about this is gonna sound really bitchy, but, um, people that love to exercise are very fucking smug and um, you're not morally better than me or other people that don't exercise as much as you do.

00:25:50.231 --> 00:26:00.001
That's where I get like, ah, you know, I guess F you it's so annoying and like I understand they want to post every day about all their exercise and that's probably for accountability or whatever.

00:26:00.001 --> 00:26:06.282
But you're not better than me because I don't go to Pilates, pilates, pilates five days a week or whatever.

00:26:06.282 --> 00:26:06.804
Just doesn't it.

00:26:06.804 --> 00:26:09.567
It am I the only one that feels that I feel like they're so fucking smug?

00:26:10.750 --> 00:26:21.714
no, because there are a lot of people out there that still, you know, um think that what they do, like get rid of belly fat, you just got to do these three moves.

00:26:21.714 --> 00:26:43.204
No, like they're not understanding genetics, they're not understanding that body diversity, they're not understanding that how hormones work on people who were born with female reproductive organs, they don't understand how stress affects the body, how menopause affects the body.

00:26:43.204 --> 00:26:53.817
Like we don't talk about the things with primarily with female, or who are assigned female at birth at all.

00:26:53.817 --> 00:27:01.473
Like right, because it's rich old white men that like to tell us like, no, that's not OK, that's not OK, that's not OK.

00:27:01.473 --> 00:27:10.309
Well, look, sir, like there is even Kaiser I hate Kaiser so much and I just want to find a bottom line for my hormones.

00:27:10.309 --> 00:27:12.261
Like why can't you do that?

00:27:12.261 --> 00:27:27.035
So I'm paying $199 out of my own pocket to go get the answers that I want and then like hopefully be able to decipher them and be like, look, I'm asking for treatment.

00:27:27.035 --> 00:27:42.131
I don't want progesterone and I don't want estradiol, I want a little bit of testosterone, because if my levels are down here, like almost at zero, and my estrogen is up here, that's an issue.

00:27:42.131 --> 00:27:50.570
Like there's optimal levels and that's the one thing that I don't understand why they don't look at that.

00:27:50.570 --> 00:27:54.505
But that's also where strength building comes in.

00:27:54.505 --> 00:28:03.125
That's also where you know eating food for fuel, like unfortunately we are.

00:28:03.125 --> 00:28:12.842
We have to take that into our own hands and do certain things of like okay, how can I create more natural testosterone?

00:28:12.842 --> 00:28:31.728
And that's like through movement, strength building, excuse me and like power training, like that's how we are able, excuse me, to do that on our own.

00:28:31.728 --> 00:28:41.275
But we also will probably have estrogen battling us too, and if our progesterone levels are low, we're going to have to do that.

00:28:41.275 --> 00:28:43.640
It's going to be an uphill battle.

00:28:43.640 --> 00:28:54.625
And then there's also the factor of antidepressants and ADHD meds how they have on the body also.

00:28:55.547 --> 00:29:02.781
There's a lot of things that I'm working with a dietician who works with neurodivergent athletes.

00:29:02.781 --> 00:29:16.426
I didn't realize how depleted my body was until she had me take certain supplements in addition to my medicine, and then, all of a sudden, I felt like a whole person.

00:29:16.426 --> 00:29:18.796
I didn't realize how much I was missing.

00:29:18.796 --> 00:29:23.438
And now I have a little bit more energy, I'm a little bit more focused.

00:29:23.438 --> 00:29:24.659
I don't feel like my.

00:29:24.659 --> 00:29:41.869
I still have brain fog and still have some of that, depending on where, whatever's going on, but it's, it was like an instinct and it's not going to be instant for a lot of people.

00:29:41.869 --> 00:29:44.050
You know what I mean Like for myself it was.

00:29:44.050 --> 00:29:51.181
I felt an instant, like I felt whole, I didn't feel like anything was missing.

00:29:51.260 --> 00:30:00.159
So if my recommendation is that if you do have a dietician, make sure that they're.

00:30:00.259 --> 00:30:18.056
Also, if you are taking meds, make sure that they can help see you know, guide you on what supplements to take, because, like my ADHD medicine depletes me on certain vitamins and so like I'm taking extra CQ10.

00:30:18.056 --> 00:30:42.087
So getting somebody that you can, that really looks at you inside and out, is very helpful and then I think too, with that working with somebody, it will also help your relationship with food and literally over the last years where that has happened through weightlifting, weightlifting has helped me.

00:30:42.087 --> 00:30:45.020
One finally feel like my head and brain.

00:30:45.020 --> 00:30:49.217
I'm on that platform, feel like I am a whole person.

00:30:49.217 --> 00:31:13.969
That's another thing that I love about weightlifting and like coming in at 48 and never I've touched a barbell but I was doing more powerlifting kind of stuff but Olympic weightlifting and then, like a year pretty much to my first competition, to my one year anniversary.

00:31:13.969 --> 00:31:31.316
I was at Masters Nationals and I took the bronze, and so I took the bronze in snatch, both disciplines and then overall plans and then overall.

00:31:31.336 --> 00:31:31.797
So that was really cool.

00:31:31.817 --> 00:31:34.482
But it has helped me really focus on my recovery With the weightlifting, with these types of things.

00:31:34.522 --> 00:31:48.666
Like do you ever recognize you know you're still dealing with it sounds like you're still sorting through stuff with a therapist and working through a lot of these issues to kind of like find the right spot for you?

00:31:49.307 --> 00:32:10.237
Would you say that, like that having that mentality of like I'm still in the thick of this and I'm still doing this sort of thing, like would you say that that has really helped you resonate with the folks that work with you Because they're all kind of in that transition, like you mentioned earlier work with you because they're all kind of in that transition, like you mentioned earlier, people often feel like black and white right.

00:32:10.237 --> 00:32:14.827
So yeah, I find that a lot with therapy is that you know it's one or the other and if I'm in the middle it just not going to work.

00:32:14.827 --> 00:32:29.628
Do you find that like having that sort of vulnerability with the folks that you're working with and talking about you know I'm still trying to figure out these pieces and get this to work Is that adding to the success?

00:32:29.628 --> 00:32:32.913
Because it's like, oh hey, I'm still figuring it out.

00:32:32.913 --> 00:32:35.960
You can figure it out with me, like, let's work on this together.

00:32:37.241 --> 00:32:43.499
I would say, for the most part, yes, it does resonate with them and it has helped them.

00:32:43.499 --> 00:33:14.089
One of my clients that I used for my case study before I started working with them they were having gender dysmorphia, body dysmorphia and a whole bunch of other traumatic things that had happened in their past a whole bunch of other traumatic things that had happened in their past, and over the last three years I have helped them come into the person that they are.

00:33:14.089 --> 00:33:18.720
They now know what their gender is they're trans, masculine, non-binary.

00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:22.448
They know they're going to get top surgery in September.

00:33:22.448 --> 00:33:34.842
In September they want to look super buff and swole and I'm trying to help them achieve these things.

00:33:34.842 --> 00:33:40.578
But they also know, too, that it's going to take time and that's a lot of things that people don't understand.

00:33:40.979 --> 00:33:49.377
If you don't see results right away, then it's like you know, oh, this doesn't work, but it's not going to be overnight.

00:33:49.377 --> 00:33:54.249
There is no quick fix on feeling better about yourself in your body.

00:33:54.249 --> 00:33:57.140
It takes work, just like therapy takes work.

00:33:57.140 --> 00:34:11.780
This is like a therapeutic way of getting to know your own body and some days, yeah, it's going to be tough and you're not going to want to do it, and that's the one thing I tell my folks.

00:34:11.780 --> 00:34:18.222
I said just show up, doesn't matter how you feel, just show up and we can adapt to how you're feeling that day.

00:34:18.222 --> 00:34:30.137
So like, for example, oh, you're totally pissed off at your boss because they pulled you into their office and you got a talking to.

00:34:30.137 --> 00:34:32.601
All right, well, let's fuel that.

00:34:32.601 --> 00:34:35.367
Okay, let's get out the ball, let's slam.

00:34:35.367 --> 00:34:44.117
You know, do some ball slams or do something that empowers them, but also, at the same time, be able to get that feeling out.

00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:58.856
Now I also work virtually with people too, so it's not just in here and so it's also on the screen, and sometimes there is a little bit of a difference.

00:34:59.677 --> 00:35:24.572
But I think when somebody isn't feeling comfortable within themselves or their body, it looks, you know, and because there is a screen in front of them, I think there may be some disassociation there as to what it would be like to be in person.

00:35:24.572 --> 00:35:47.989
But I try to not have that become a problem and like really focus on how they're moving their body, adapt to them how they can, and like the first month of our movement sessions it's pretty slow, but it could also like skip things, you know, depending on where you are.

00:35:47.989 --> 00:36:16.284
But I have to like I want to be careful and I want to provide a safe program so that those results do come, but it's like a progress, like there is a method to my madness, like it may seem mundane and boring and lame, but there is a reason for it, and that's where I thought I was explaining things.

00:36:16.284 --> 00:36:30.498
But sometimes maybe that's also a reflection too of where I can look at it and be like okay, maybe I should be a little bit more vocal about things, and so, yeah, it's a learning curve for sure.

00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:33.143
Can I take us on a little tangent?

00:36:33.143 --> 00:36:39.717
You mentioned genetic code and you know I say those words a lot.

00:36:39.717 --> 00:36:42.686
You know I am this way because of my genetic code.

00:36:42.686 --> 00:36:51.724
You know I don't think I could be, of course I could, you know, just have total disordered eating and shrink myself.

00:36:51.724 --> 00:36:53.081
We all know what's going to happen, right?

00:36:53.081 --> 00:36:57.521
But I wondered if you and Murph had this experience, because I've heard this a lot.

00:36:57.974 --> 00:37:02.043
There's two things that fat people, especially fat women, seem to have in common.

00:37:02.043 --> 00:37:13.980
Almost all of us have had our gallbladder removed and if you've ever done a 23andMe, almost all of us have this thing that 23andMe tells you which is like you're likely to have the body of an elite Olympic athlete.

00:37:13.980 --> 00:37:22.188
And whenever I say that on Facebook, where people go, yeah, me too, me too, they're always fat girls and I'm like, yeah, that's our genetic code.

00:37:22.188 --> 00:37:27.550
And you know my boyfriend's like, oh, I think they mean those ladies that lift the big weights and stuff, not the gymnasts.

00:37:27.550 --> 00:37:40.858
I go, yeah, okay, I get that, but still, how come so many of us get this thing from 23andMe that says we're likely to have the musculature and the body and the bones for an elite Olympic athlete, like an elite weightlifter.

00:37:40.858 --> 00:37:42.858
It's in our genetic code, y'all.

00:37:42.858 --> 00:37:46.282
I don't care how much you exercise, of course, if you love it, do it.

00:37:46.282 --> 00:37:48.202
If it brings you joy, do whatever you want to do.

00:37:48.202 --> 00:37:52.947
But it's also you're fighting something that's in your genetic code.

00:37:52.947 --> 00:37:54.588
Have you heard that?

00:37:55.447 --> 00:38:04.715
I think yes, but I think too, diet culture it doesn't listen to that and it's like no, your BMI?

00:38:04.715 --> 00:38:13.844
I'm supposed to be 139 pounds, and so I've done a DEXA scan and that is like a full body scan to see your bone density, your muscle mass.

00:38:13.844 --> 00:38:21.887
It also shows you your fat content, but whatever I look at it from, okay, bone density and muscle mass.

00:38:21.887 --> 00:38:27.846
So your bone density and organs is usually roughly about 100 pounds.

00:38:27.846 --> 00:38:35.204
Well, when I got my first test, I was 178 pounds of lean muscle mass.

00:38:35.204 --> 00:38:39.596
So if I had 0% body fat, I would still be 278.

00:38:39.596 --> 00:38:44.061
Plain and simple, 0% body fat.

00:38:44.061 --> 00:39:03.824
And there's also now studies too that have shown people who do live in larger bodies our bone density is higher because we carry around mass, and so we're also a lot stronger underneath all of this than we like to also give ourselves credit for.

00:39:04.905 --> 00:39:14.465
I think there's, you know, there's these certain things that men unfortunately don't give us credit for.

00:39:14.465 --> 00:39:38.411
Or, like you know, science is very cute because it doesn't really want to study women, like women don't even want to study women, and which I find is weird, like because I try to do everything myself first before, like I recommend anything, like I do it on myself, like I have osteoarthritis in both knees, but I'm they're like doesn't, is it?

00:39:38.411 --> 00:39:41.458
Didn't weightlifting like ruin that for you?

00:39:41.458 --> 00:39:44.583
And I'm like no, just overuse and injury.

00:39:44.583 --> 00:39:45.846
And it's not.

00:39:45.846 --> 00:39:57.480
Even osteoarthritis is not a fat person's disease or condition, because I know more skinny people that have made replacements than I do fat people.

00:39:58.521 --> 00:40:01.409
And that's because we know how to carry our joints.

00:40:02.554 --> 00:40:09.358
Yep, there was like a chiropractic office here in san jose and they were having come get your bones density tested.

00:40:09.358 --> 00:40:11.565
I was like, yeah, I'm gonna do that, I'd like to know, you know.

00:40:11.565 --> 00:40:17.206
And when I had my bone density test, the person that did the test like, oh my god, how did you do this?

00:40:17.206 --> 00:40:17.916
I'm like what he was?

00:40:17.916 --> 00:40:19.579
Your bones are so dead.

00:40:19.579 --> 00:40:21.443
I'm gonna guess cheese.

00:40:21.443 --> 00:40:28.262
I don't know, I love queso, but yeah, he's like, yeah, you, wow, I go.

00:40:28.322 --> 00:40:31.461
I wonder if it's from being a larger person, because, you know, carrying all this around all the time.

00:40:31.461 --> 00:40:33.579
So I must be at least at some level.

00:40:33.579 --> 00:40:39.498
I must be strong, because I carry this around all day long, I move up and downstairs and I work with like this.

00:40:39.498 --> 00:40:51.635
So maybe it doesn't look like what people want to think of as what whatever?

00:40:51.635 --> 00:40:53.199
A fit body where it looks like I hate that word fit, but I I'm.

00:40:53.199 --> 00:40:54.742
I think I have a fit body underneath there somewhere because I do.

00:40:54.742 --> 00:40:56.166
And also, hey, this guy said I have super dense about bones.

00:40:56.166 --> 00:41:01.081
I don't know why, but maybe because I carry, because it's, isn't it?

00:41:01.121 --> 00:41:05.208
weight, weight bearing exercise is what helps make our bones stronger, right.

00:41:07.056 --> 00:41:09.442
Yes, wendy, do you identify as fat?

00:41:10.184 --> 00:41:11.547
Yes, I do Okay.

00:41:14.255 --> 00:41:16.077
And why is that important to you?

00:41:16.077 --> 00:41:19.860
Because it's taking back the word Like there's nothing wrong with the word.

00:41:19.860 --> 00:41:27.827
Unfortunately, like you know, diet culture has demoralized it, and saying that it's a bad thing it's an adjective Like that's.

00:41:27.827 --> 00:41:35.074
Diet culture has demoralized it, and saying that it's a bad thing it's an adjective Like that's all it is, there's no.

00:41:35.074 --> 00:41:35.855
I remember back in the what was it?

00:41:35.855 --> 00:41:36.094
The 80s?

00:41:36.094 --> 00:41:37.916
The PHAT Like it's kind of sort of like that.

00:41:37.916 --> 00:41:45.965
But keeping it the FAT, like okay, I'm, yeah, I'm fat, but this is, this body can still do things, regardless of what size it is.

00:41:45.965 --> 00:41:59.150
So, yeah there, yeah, it's empowering People can do things, regardless of whatever body they're in.

00:41:59.170 --> 00:41:59.914
It's just going to look different.

00:41:59.914 --> 00:42:08.797
So true, yeah, and I think we come up with lots of fun little ways to call it something else where it just makes that feeling of cultural expectations of fat equals bad.

00:42:08.797 --> 00:42:15.358
So the more that we take back that word and really empower it I think you're right Makes a big difference.

00:42:15.358 --> 00:42:21.608
Tell us about the fat journaling and journaling when working out.

00:42:21.608 --> 00:42:23.016
Why is that important?

00:42:24.159 --> 00:42:41.224
Here it is right here, the Fat Athlete Journal I made that because most fitness journals are all diet culture Like, oh, let's track your calories, let's track your movement, let's track you this, let's track you that.

00:42:41.224 --> 00:42:45.635
No, this is basically showing your intentions.

00:42:45.635 --> 00:42:54.543
You could write down your movement of the day, something you learned I know that didn't look very but energy and mood.

00:42:54.543 --> 00:43:04.010
And then I have like little prompts down at the end, like did you add protein to any meals today or did you fuel yourself today?

00:43:04.010 --> 00:43:06.231
Did you remember to take your meds?

00:43:06.231 --> 00:43:07.233
Treat yourself.

00:43:07.974 --> 00:43:21.385
But instead of goals of the day, I don't like using goals, I like to use intentions, because goals sound like it's a pass or fail, and I think diet culture also ruined that word for us too.

00:43:21.385 --> 00:43:25.083
So it's intentions of the day, movement of the day.

00:43:25.083 --> 00:43:33.327
And then I like to write down like today was the first day that I've actually done power clean since I it injured my foot.

00:43:33.327 --> 00:43:48.726
And I wrote down like how my ankle felt, how like um, where I felt, and so like also too, like it felt meh, ok, like sometimes I'm like oh, I had a meh lift or whatever.

00:43:48.726 --> 00:43:52.248
And then like Then the next day, right.

00:43:52.248 --> 00:44:10.579
Then you're like oh, I generally felt like a badass blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and being like, oh wow, just like three weeks ago I couldn't lift 15 pounds, but now here I am lifting 25.

00:44:10.579 --> 00:44:11.021
That's fucking rad.

00:44:11.021 --> 00:44:15.248
Like you could see it, we're already on screens so much.

00:44:15.329 --> 00:44:41.021
This is a different way of self-encouraging yourself and seeing your progress right in front of with your writing, because you're writing it down, um, but you're seeing your progress through this and like there's, uh, it's, you could get it on amazon, it's under the fat athlete journal and it doesn't look like this, but, um, because it has the the book bind it.

00:44:41.021 --> 00:45:00.143
They don't do I like the coil, but I'm really bad at sending things out, like really bad, and so I don't want to say you could get one on my website, but then it will take you, probably be about three months, so you might as well go to Amazon.

00:45:00.143 --> 00:45:02.923
I'm just being honest because I'm really bad.

00:45:02.923 --> 00:45:09.356
That is one thing that I am really trying hard and it's an uphill battle for me.

00:45:10.137 --> 00:45:13.465
Don't they call that the ADHD tax, because I have that same problem.

00:45:14.045 --> 00:45:35.844
Yes, yeah, it's not intentional at all, but each week there's a gratitude Three things I appreciated this month about your body, three good things that my body did this month, this month's positive affirmations, my favorite moments of the month, and then there's like monthly intentions.

00:45:35.844 --> 00:45:44.922
And then there's the months that is not dated so you could write down, you know, like, oh, this was a big, awesome PR day.

00:45:44.922 --> 00:45:49.690
Or you know, I moved three times this week.

00:45:49.690 --> 00:45:51.318
I'm very proud of myself for doing that.

00:45:51.440 --> 00:45:53.525
I love the therapeutic aspect of that.

00:45:53.525 --> 00:46:07.670
Like, as a therapist I assign, like journaling and things like that, and so to have these prompts and have these things, that you can really go back and be reflective and see the insights, that the progress of what you've made, that's so huge.

00:46:07.670 --> 00:46:15.815
And I think we don't always consider that like the importance of that with physical activity.

00:46:15.815 --> 00:46:42.438
We just think about that in like the mental space of like, oh, you should do this, you know, so that you find out those behaviors that you have or those symptoms that you have, rather than, hey, you can also apply this to the physical activity that you're doing and recognize there's growth or there's change, or I want to change something because I'm seeing a pattern here or find those types of things where we don't often assign that with any sort of physical activity.

00:46:42.438 --> 00:46:55.139
I mean, I get that you have know, you have your watch that tracks your steps or you know your breathing or that sort of thing, but really not the mental aspects that go into physical activity.

00:46:55.139 --> 00:46:56.702
It's awesome.

00:46:57.764 --> 00:46:58.164
Thank you.

00:46:58.164 --> 00:47:23.530
Yeah, because I try to come from a trauma-informed space just because I know if, like I know, I have been traumatized my entire life and I don't understand how resilient I am, probably because I just push it all the way down and beat myself up about it or the downward spiral of depression comes in or whatever.

00:47:23.530 --> 00:47:40.503
But it's just a good way to, when you're having a bad day, to go back and reflect, because there was one time where I was getting down on myself because I was just having a really bad week and then I had to sit back and look and reflect and be like I've only been doing this for a year.

00:47:40.503 --> 00:47:42.831
Last year I was only doing two days a week.

00:47:42.831 --> 00:47:48.081
Now I'm doing five days a week and I'm competing more and I made it to Masters Nationals.

00:47:48.081 --> 00:47:50.184
I think I'm doing pretty good.

00:47:50.184 --> 00:48:04.117
So it kind of helps you rethink things and really truly see your progress and being like oh, okay, yeah, I am kind of badass.

00:48:05.059 --> 00:48:08.527
So Hell yeah, does your partner work out with you?

00:48:09.275 --> 00:48:10.557
I wish he did.

00:48:10.557 --> 00:48:15.369
There are times that we do, but he hates squats.

00:48:15.369 --> 00:48:30.757
He does not like squats, but I'll I'll make him come out here and sometimes spot me on my bench press or whatever me on my bench press or whatever, and so.

00:48:30.757 --> 00:48:38.737
But he comes to my competitions and he's like my number one supporter, so he also gives me a talking to when I'm like I don't feel motivated to go to practice today.

00:48:38.737 --> 00:48:40.963
He's like shut up and go.

00:48:40.963 --> 00:48:42.166
You know how you're going to feel.

00:48:42.166 --> 00:48:45.804
You're going to feel great afterwards, so just go and get it over with.

00:48:45.804 --> 00:48:53.139
Okay, and that's what my coach says to just show up.

00:48:53.139 --> 00:48:56.108
That's the hardest thing to do is just show up, and that's why I also tell my uh, my folks to just show up.

00:48:57.231 --> 00:49:08.126
I think that kind of leads into the next question that I was going to ask you of, just like, what advice would you give to people of wanting, who want to have joyful movement to get into it?

00:49:08.655 --> 00:49:12.606
Know, that, yeah, there's going to be some days that it's not going to be joyful.

00:49:12.606 --> 00:49:19.838
But something may also take you by surprise and you'll be like, damn, I thought that was going to be hard and that was kind of easy.

00:49:19.838 --> 00:49:21.500
And then it turns into joyful.

00:49:21.500 --> 00:49:27.289
So it can have that effect of, like you know, that dread going into it.

00:49:27.289 --> 00:49:35.347
But then, once your blood is flowing and the the you know your body's moving, you're like, oh, I feel pretty good.

00:49:35.347 --> 00:49:37.936
This is, this isn't shit after all.

00:49:38.137 --> 00:49:52.072
Like you know, it's just giving it a try, especially Especially well, finding a safe space to do it, finding a trainer that, or a coach that has your values.

00:49:52.072 --> 00:49:53.762
I think that's the biggest place.

00:49:53.762 --> 00:49:57.405
Like, interview them as much as they're interviewing you.

00:49:57.405 --> 00:50:01.286
Like coaches do interview their client or their potential clients.

00:50:01.286 --> 00:50:02.860
You're doing the same thing.

00:50:02.860 --> 00:50:06.219
Interview them, ask them the difficult questions, ask them about their values.

00:50:06.219 --> 00:50:09.844
You're doing the same thing interview them, ask them the difficult questions, ask them about their values.

00:50:09.844 --> 00:50:20.509
Ask them so that you know, um, that you're coming from like a different perspective, so that you can see where, if your values are aligned do you find at all that?

00:50:20.809 --> 00:50:31.139
um, there are resources in the the weightlifting or workout community that are easier for people that you know want.

00:50:31.139 --> 00:50:39.394
Like you said, you're working with a dietitian like, so obviously I'm sure it's somebody who understands like anti fatness and diet culture and those types of things so like.

00:50:39.394 --> 00:50:44.704
Do you have resources for, or connected communities for, this type of work?

00:50:44.704 --> 00:50:46.809
Where would people find that?

00:50:46.974 --> 00:50:56.856
Yes, so I have been really bad about keeping up on my Fat-Friendly resources on my website, but I'm trying to.

00:50:56.856 --> 00:51:07.467
So from the FatCon I have been trying to keep a Google document so that people can add their resources on there.

00:51:07.467 --> 00:51:19.898
It didn't get the progress as I had hoped for, but maybe I could just nudge everybody a little bit and say like, hey, like what have you guys found?

00:51:19.898 --> 00:51:21.360
Can you add them onto the list?

00:51:21.360 --> 00:51:52.280
So that, because I wanted to get fishing, kayaking, surf, like all of all of the things that fat people want to do, because in our panel there was a lady who fishes, there were people who kayak, people who do um, um, weight lifting, power lifting, dance, yoga, like it was so cool, just all the different people that were in there and I really.

00:51:52.641 --> 00:51:55.567
And camping and hiking, like that was really huge too.

00:51:55.567 --> 00:52:01.340
So I wanted to get a collective of resources.

00:52:01.340 --> 00:52:17.083
So that is in the works, but I do have work closely with a couple registered dietitians and I can provide that I could send that information over to you.

00:52:17.083 --> 00:52:25.507
So if somebody reaches out to you and asks, then you have that.

00:52:26.528 --> 00:52:27.590
That's awesome, thank you.

00:52:27.590 --> 00:52:42.226
Your list sounds a lot like the list that Mary Lambert keeps with fat-friendly doctors, and they have people adding to it all the time too, so let's make sure we put that in the show notes, because we'd love to share that with our community.

00:52:42.226 --> 00:52:45.403
Wendy, thank you for doing this today too, by the way, it's love having you.

00:52:46.114 --> 00:52:48.981
No, I'll be more than happy to show up again.

00:52:50.184 --> 00:52:50.766
Okay, cool.

00:52:50.766 --> 00:52:51.628
Yeah, thank you.

00:52:51.628 --> 00:52:56.085
Would you let our listeners in our community know where they can find you online?

00:52:57.235 --> 00:53:02.561
Oh yeah, so Instagram it's Jim jam J I M J A M.

00:53:02.561 --> 00:53:13.998
M underscore Wendy or Joyful Inclusive Movement, and then I guess I have a YouTube and TikTok.

00:53:13.998 --> 00:53:24.722
I have an assistant who helps me with all that, so I know I have a YouTube because I've had a couple people respond or comment on some things.

00:53:24.722 --> 00:53:27.768
So there's still a lot of fat haters out there.

00:53:29.034 --> 00:53:33.498
Yeah, they're unavoidable, especially when it comes to fat people wanting to move their bodies.

00:53:33.498 --> 00:53:37.367
It's like we're damned if we do and we're damned if we don't.

00:53:37.554 --> 00:53:39.782
I was going to say that Go to the gym, you get made fun of.

00:53:39.782 --> 00:53:41.096
Don't go to the gym, you get made fun of.

00:53:42.217 --> 00:53:46.764
I feel like it's even 10 times worse for females A thousand percent?

00:53:47.005 --> 00:53:52.860
Yeah, because you know, the cultural expectation is that no one's supposed to look like you.

00:53:52.860 --> 00:53:54.744
You're supposed to be eradicated.

00:53:54.744 --> 00:54:04.923
You're not allowed to be enjoying moving your body and doing what you do and fueling your body Like it's just, it's like they don't want you to even exist.

00:54:04.923 --> 00:54:06.005
How can you not be?

00:54:06.067 --> 00:54:07.076
dieting all the time, don't?

00:54:07.076 --> 00:54:07.938
You want to be thin?

00:54:09.041 --> 00:54:10.465
Why don't you diet and exercise?

00:54:10.465 --> 00:54:10.905
That's what.

00:54:10.905 --> 00:54:11.896
That's what it takes.

00:54:11.896 --> 00:54:25.126
This one gentleman was like I was telling my how much I benched, how much I deadlifted and squatted, and he's like uh, videos, wendy, and I was like my profile is public, so go ahead and take a look.

00:54:25.126 --> 00:54:26.969
I'm like are you kidding?

00:54:27.010 --> 00:54:30.844
me, You're like I could lift circles around you, son.

00:54:32.016 --> 00:54:33.360
I could lift you and your wife.

00:54:33.360 --> 00:54:34.963
Thank you.

00:54:35.043 --> 00:54:38.501
Right, yeah Well, wendy, it's been a pleasure.

00:54:38.916 --> 00:54:39.016
And.

00:54:39.036 --> 00:55:22.655
I think this is going to be, you know, a really eye opening experience for a lot of folks that listen to this podcast, because I think this is something that our community really has had so much trauma around and it's been reinforced as we've gotten older and just like we're talking about right now, you know, it's reinforced just on social media and so, having a space where it's like a person who understands this world, understands the concepts and things that you have to do to move certain muscle groups and gain strength in certain areas, you have this really specific knowledge base where the environment you've created is so safe that it feels okay to access it.

00:55:22.695 --> 00:55:42.007
Just going onto your website and seeing the work that you do and how you talk about it, and I started to fill out the form you know, so that she, she has a form that, as you start to fill out things, it's very specific and very aligned with those therapeutic values and really what you're looking at, and it's just.

00:55:42.007 --> 00:56:09.893
I think this is a great opportunity for folks to learn more and to start to explore those types of things in a way that feels like I'm not going to get made fun of, I'm not going to, you know, be tormented for being awkward and nobody's going to be looking at me like you're providing that avenue and that's really awesome, and I'm just so, so glad that you're in this world and that you're, you know, out there with um, uh, what's the name of the sponsor?

00:56:09.913 --> 00:56:12.940
again, super, super fit hero, super fit hero.

00:56:13.400 --> 00:56:15.144
Yeah, yeah.

00:56:15.144 --> 00:56:22.045
So it's like just seeing you know, having someone that looks like you out in that space sponsoring this.

00:56:22.045 --> 00:56:27.023
You know, movement, this, this type of work, it's just incredible.

00:56:27.023 --> 00:56:36.358
We need to see more people like that and um, that's just an eye opening, iconic type of work and it it takes somebody super special.

00:56:36.358 --> 00:56:37.481
So thank you for doing it.

00:56:38.583 --> 00:56:39.244
Oh, thank you.

00:56:39.244 --> 00:56:43.197
Um, yeah, I just you know ADHD really quick.

00:56:43.197 --> 00:56:46.242
You asked um about, do um.

00:56:46.242 --> 00:56:48.847
What, like my clientele, do?

00:56:48.847 --> 00:56:52.659
I tend to relate with them or whatever.

00:56:52.659 --> 00:56:58.237
I have a lot of neurodivergent folks so on the spectrum and with ADHD.

00:56:58.237 --> 00:57:01.302
So for some reason the universe brings us all together.

00:57:01.905 --> 00:57:04.068
Exactly yes for sure.

00:57:04.068 --> 00:57:06.351
Thank you so much, wendy, really appreciate, really appreciate it.

00:57:06.351 --> 00:57:06.855
Riff, do you want to tell?

00:57:06.894 --> 00:57:07.797
people where they can find us.

00:57:07.797 --> 00:57:16.438
Yes, you can find us at big sexy chat on all the platforms insta, facebook threads.

00:57:16.438 --> 00:57:25.784
You can dm us, you can send us messages on all those platforms and you can find us at big sexy chatcom and you should like.

00:57:25.784 --> 00:57:35.576
Subscribe, share, tell your friends, have them, tell two friends, all that fun stuff so that we can get these amazing folks that come onto our pod out.

00:57:36.016 --> 00:57:41.896
You know even more to the rest of the community Share share, share, yep, thank you All right.

00:57:41.896 --> 00:57:43.144
Well, thanks, thanks all.

00:57:43.144 --> 00:57:43.889
I really appreciate it.

00:57:43.889 --> 00:57:45.096
Thank you so again, wendy, and I will see you later.

00:57:45.096 --> 00:57:45.717
Alligator, after a while.

00:57:45.717 --> 00:57:45.858
Crocodile.

00:57:45.858 --> 00:57:45.998
Well thanks, thanks all.

00:57:45.998 --> 00:57:46.157
I really appreciate it.

00:57:46.157 --> 00:57:46.436
Thank you again, wendy, and I'll see you later.

00:57:46.436 --> 00:57:47.836
Alligator After a while.

00:57:47.836 --> 00:57:48.539
Crocodile.

00:57:48.559 --> 00:57:50.646
Awesome possums.