Transcript
WEBVTT
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Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat.
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I'm Crystal, I'm Murph.
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We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month.
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We'll be chatting about current events, hot topics, sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community, cannabis, cbd you name it.
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We're going to talk about it.
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We are very excited to have you a part of our community.
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Welcome and enjoy.
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Hi y'all.
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Welcome back to Big Sexy Chat.
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This is Crystal.
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Hi, I'm Murph and we have an extra special episode today.
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We're doing something a little bit different.
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Tell them what we're going to talk about today, murph.
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We're talking all things.
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Clitoris, yay, most important thing ever.
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Waste to me.
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Yes, oh man, that's the way I get out of bed in the morning.
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Yes, absolutely Best part of my body.
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So, yeah, clitoris, we're going to talk about clitoris C.
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How clitoris literate are you, and I know I've done a lot of research this last week and I've learned a few new things, and I'm sure you have learned a few new things too, Irv.
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But if it's okay, I want to start you guys off with a little funny story.
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I may have told this on the air before, I can't remember, but I used to be part of a book club and this book club we were meeting outdoors at this restaurant and one of our friends brought a new girl to come to book club.
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So we all had our food already and they didn't have their food yet.
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So this new girl standing there we'll just call her Kim, this new girl standing there, and the other girl goes hey, Kim, since you don't have your food, why don't you introduce yourself?
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She goes oh, sure, sure, sure, Hi, all my name is Kim and I was born with two vaginas.
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Okay, so we're on a patio of a bunch of people sitting around, we're all looking at her and she's actually a very timid and very shy person and immediately my brain went to do you have two clitorises?
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She'll know I'm like okay, whatever we care, dang it.
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Yeah, now it's not interesting, not at all.
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But I'm like I want to see it one day, but she's really timid and shy so I never it you can.
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There's all kinds of google information out there.
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It's called uterus.
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Diddle a fee, diddle a fee.
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I'm like diddle a fee, diddle.
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But the cutest part is that this woman's husband used to call her vagina his, um, his lover and his mistress, or his wife and his mistress, because there were two places and she had two, everything, two uterus, two, two sets of every single thing that you can imagine that has to do with reproductive stuff.
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If you are um born female, that just sounds awful to me.
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sued, I'm just thinking of how much problems I have with my reproductive everything and the idea of having two like two sets of ovaries, two uteruserine, no.
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Do you know she went through about I think it's either 11 or 13, I can't remember now miscarriages between her first son and her last son.
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Yeah, that's awful, I know, I'm sure.
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Anyway, it's not about the clitoris, so we won't go on.
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Yeah, it's not as interesting to me.
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Of course, there's lots of nerve endings in the vagina, but where do you want to start us off, merth?
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Well, I think we need to talk about who discovered the clitoris.
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Please tell me it was a woman.
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Nope, nope, but I did think the name was kind of interesting.
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Basically, they're saying that in Western civilization this Italian doctor named Matteo Columbo, back in 1559, found it, which I think is kind of funny, like Columbo, like that old detective show from back in the day.
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But actually they say that really they knew about the clitoris back in 400 BC and so, while they didn't have a name for it, they did talk about how the organ really did predate Western civilization, claiming it.
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Wow.
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So when there was that hysteria word thrown around a lot, this is because women were discovering their clitoris.
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I think that was in the 30s right, the hysteria.
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Yeah, I think there was a bit of it, even before the hysteria Sorry, the 30s Because they had those doctors that were doing all kinds of stuff in like the early 1900s that like you could go and get it massaged yes, please, yeah.
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Where do I sign it?
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I don't know.
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Get it massaged, yes, please, yeah, where do I sign it?
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I know they had opium to deal with all their pain and then doctor like jerked you off, like I mean how much does that cost like I got?
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you and they'd give you a lobotomy if nothing was working.
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Like yeah man, they used to call um mama.
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Value mama's little helper.
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No, I didn't know that, but I think they should call vibr mama's little helper.
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No, I didn't know that.
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But I think they should call vibrators mama's little helper, yeah, or big helper, depending on the toy.
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Exactly Wow, so a guy.
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That's interesting, since a lot of people who are assigned female at birth often say that their partners typically male partners can't find their clitoris on their bodies or don't seem to stimulate it in the right way, and I don't know.
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And then a man found it.
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That's crazy.
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Yeah Well, they only used to allow men to be doctors.
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True true, they need to claim everything.
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That's true, you know, I was reading something really funny and it was talking about how you know, some animals, you know, have clitorises or whatever.
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But there was like a sentence that said, yeah, but we don't know, we don't know much about it yet because not not a lot of money and time has been spent studying it.
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I was like same, yeah, females too, female humans, uh, yeah, not surprised there's not much data for animal clitoris.
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But hey, one thing I know about the clitoris it only has one purpose.
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One purpose.
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Nothing else does not.
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Nothing else, nothing else, but to give you pleasure and possibly have an orgasm.
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That's right.
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That's right, the only organ specifically designed for sexual pleasure.
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Yep, and so, yeah, yeah, go ahead.
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There are 8,000 nerve endings just in the tip alone.
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Hell yeah, that's lovely.
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Super, super, super sensitive, the tip alone.
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Hell yeah, that's lovely.
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So it's super, super, super sensitive, More so than any other area.
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There's a dense level of nerves that are just right there.
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I've heard it might be even more than that, but when they've done the dissection or you know, they look at cadavers.
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In the past they were mostly looking at animal cadavers and looking at their clitorises clitori and a lot of the research was done around some horses that they were studying Weirdest thing I know.
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But I only know this because I know a lot of people that are in the sex toy business and so I've heard this story.
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They're like oh yeah, there's probably even more than 10,000.
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Nobody really knows yet because they've only studied horses.
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Claire, okay, that's right, yeah.
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Wow, and you know really that the whole area is just a mixture of erectile tissue?
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And muscles and nerves and so, like you said, you know, there's really an opportunity there to find out if there's even more, Like when we were talking to Kim Ayers about the sponge you know, like is that all considered that area?
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Because, like you are going to go into here in a little bit, there's some interesting anatomy to the clitoris that a lot of people probably don't even realize.
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Yeah, for sure.
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I always describe that view that we see, that image that we always see, you know, kind of looks like a wishbone, like if you had a turkey and you took the wishbone out.
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It kind of looks like that right to you.
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Yep, sure does, isn't it interesting how analogous it is to the penis as well.
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Very similar, very similar, interesting.
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But yeah, we all started out female, right?
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I think we've pointed this out on this podcast a few times.
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But then that the um, the spongy material, right, the erectile tissue, goes in two different directions depending on I don't know how to say it depending on if you're going to be born or assigned female or male at birth.
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Is that the right way to say that?
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I think so.
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Yeah, like it's how it develops depending on that chromosome right.
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And then you can also think of the clitoris as just like a small penis, the tiny penis, the little glands, just like the penis has.
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Yeah, I love the glands and you know they all come in different sizes and shapes, just like penises.
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So there's a lot of things that they have in common.
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Yeah, absolutely I think, more than a lot of people even realize.
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Yeah, absolutely I think more than a lot of people even realize?
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Yeah, for sure.
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So you kind of mentioned, you know that, that, how it develops.
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But one thing that I think a lot of people don't really realize is just that the clit is really just the tip of the iceberg, right.
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Like, talk a little bit about just kind of the specifics of how that develops and where it's at.
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So the clitoris can be anywhere between two and a half to three and a half four inches long, but we don't see most of it outside of the body.
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Most of it is sort of buried inside of the body and the word I learned about 10 years ago is something called clitoral legs.
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So basically from the glands like into the wishbone shape.
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Those little legs stems kind of go out down the side of each side of your labia and then spreads like little nerves, little networks, all over your vaginal entrance, your anus, your inner labia, outer labia and your clitoris, oh, and also inside too.
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So your G-spot and your A-spot are both also tied to the clitoris.
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So it's very important, very important to me anyway, and there is starting to be a little bit more research.
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But yeah, we know now about the clitoral network which is just all over the place and that's why it can feel good from fingering.
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It can feel really good because at the opening there's a lot of nerve endings there.
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Some people like their cervix bumped that's called the A-spot and there's a lot of clitoral legs back there.
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They're everywhere, they're everywhere.
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Yeah, I've legs back there.
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It's, they're just, they're everywhere, they're everywhere.
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Yeah, I've even seen that they're saying like it can spread into your thighs.
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Yes, like the nerve endings.
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That's, that's really interesting yes, please, I've tried that.
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I'll try it all well and it makes sense to like when we're talking about.
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You know the stimulation that um receive when you know they're having sex or any kind of foreplay with the clitoris.
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It's, you know, squeezing the labia.
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You know you're really squeezing that tissue that's around it.
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It can swell up to 300% when it's engorged.
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Love it.
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Yeah, and they say that no two vaginas, no two vulvas ever look the same.
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They're just like little snowflakes, right, they're all unique and individual.
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And then we all get a different set of that erectile sponge Some people for myself, I know I have a little bit more on the upper right side of my clitoris upper left side of my clitoris, whatever.
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But I know where I like it, it's the right side of my clitoris.
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Yeah, whatever, but I know where I like it, it's the right side of my clitoris.
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So I'm assuming that my body, the way it was designed, was more of that erectile tissue ended up on the right side of my clitoris and they're all over, but the top left side not so much for me yeah, I, I've found that with um, those new toys that we got from um womanizer, that um, it really the sucking vibration, you know whole pattern that you get in yeah, it really um stimulates the sponge for me, and that's when I squirt.
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Yep, because, I don't even have to have like that g-spot stimulation me too yeah, that amazing.
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I love it.
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I love it a lot.
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Oh, and then you were talking about, um, the labia having the clitoral legs.
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That's very true, but also some people like grinding and tugging, so that can get people very excited.
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All of these clitoral legs, wherever they are, they're going to be involved in your lubricating.
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So, wherever they are, wherever you want to touch them or have someone else touch them, that's all going to help everything to get more lubricated yeah, and I learned one interesting fact too, um, just about how, how it grows, how it builds.
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It's the only part of your body that never ages shut up.
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I didn't know that.
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Yeah, oh yeah, it keeps growing.
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So basically, um, it could be like 2.5 times as big in your 90s as it was like when you were a teenager.
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See, there are reasons to look forward to getting older.
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Okay, that's one of them.
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Your clit gets bigger y'all.
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Don't your ears get bigger all the time too?
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Yeah, I think so.
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Oh my gosh, I'm just thinking of my grandmother's ears now.
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They were so long.
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Oh my gosh, I'm just thinking of my grandmother's ears now.
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They were so long.
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She like danced in the carnival when she was young and they made her wear those big, heavy clip-on earrings, so it made her ears super long.
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But maybe it was also because they kept growing, just like her clitoris.
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Yep, grandma Ruth, that's fantastic.
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So, yeah, I like those toys that provide the suction and the vibration To me.
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That's like always what I'm trying to get to.
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I always want that and it's really, it's really common for a lot of um folks that have clitoris, um, and basically, if you don't have internal stimulation that creates an orgasm, that's not uncommon-to.
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If I just need to knock one out, bam done One and done, yeah, but if I have more time to be creative and I have a partner that's into it, we can definitely find some other ways.
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But again, it's always going to be attached to my clitoral legs.
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That's including the pleasure that you have around your anus.
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We have hundreds of nerve endings there and it can feel really good too, and for some people it can create an orgasm.
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But even if it's from your anus, they're saying, it still all comes from your clitoris.
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So, however it waterfalls down all over around the area, it's all your clitoris is involved in some way or another, even if you're not touching it you're not touching it.
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Yeah, they say 50 to 75% of women need to have clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.
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Why do people born with a penis or who have a penis, why do they think that's all about the penetration?
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I mean I think I know Right, I mean you would think it's talked about enough and people like make jokes about it enough that the clitoris is the most important part for most of us.
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So just let's err on the side of us using it and not ignoring it.
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Don't just stick it in.
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Yeah, well, yeah, I think we run into the issues of you know, women's bodies haven't been studied.
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They're shamed when women are supposed to have pleasure, you know.
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so there's so much other stuff around it that you know, I think a lot of people, especially men, but I think a lot of people think that you know, there's like one hole you know, that this is all like attached in one spot, you know, and so I think there's a lot of education, there's a lot of destigmatizing and just really exploration that needs to happen for a lot of education.
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There's a lot of destigmatizing and just really exploration that needs to happen for a lot of people.
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I mean the more attention I get before the whole shebang, the bit more intense my orgasm is going to be.
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So it's really to my lover's advantage to really make sure they're taking care of everything before we just stick it in, to really make sure they're taking care of everything before we just stick it in, right?
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Yeah, I think that you know each person's.
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Obviously every clit's different and every vagina is different and you know, really understanding that you've got to spend some time exploring that with your partner and stimulating that in different ways, because there's different sensitivity to every different shape and size.
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And if we don't spend the time getting to know our own bodies, especially, how are you going to be able to explain to your partners that this is the way I like to be stimulated?
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This is what you know.
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Does it for me, like you said to the left, you know, like I don't get a lot of nerve endings, or you know it's that plays a big part.
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So it's it's important for us to know about our own self-pleasure, to be able to indicate that to our partner.
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Too bad.
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There's so much shame involved with masturbation but I won't go into that just yet.
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But do you know what the percentage of it that they suggest for people who can't have an orgasm from just stimulating the vaginal canal, or have a vaginal orgasm as opposed to?
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I don't.
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I just know that it's a low number.
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Do you know?
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No, I know it's a pretty low number too.
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It's definitely possible, but I think, because of porn or movies or books or lack of education, men think it's all about the sticking it in part, which I love, but there's so much more important around that area.
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So don't just jam it in there.
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Take some time and um, I guess that's what they see on television or the movie.
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So I think that's what, or porn, that's what they're supposed to do, right, just jam it in there and go to town.
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Yeah, it's unfortunate and you know, if that's the only thing is seen as quote, unquote, sex you know, our society, um, is the insertion?
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you know, I mean, how many people are like, oh, you know, in our society, is the insertion, you know, I mean, how many people are like, oh well, you know you're not a virgin unless you've had insertion.
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Don't barf.
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You know I hate that word, I know it's like it's just ridiculous, but it's like that's the point is, you know, there's been so much.
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I mean, we can go into even further detail of history, but I mean no-transcript there's a couple different people that have blamed Freud.
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Sigmund Freud, the idea of a woman has to have stimulation by a penis to have orgasm, so it's like that was what the people were trained on back then, that's when they used to call women frigid.
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right, yes, stupid, yeah.
00:18:29.696 --> 00:18:32.192
So I have another little story to share.
00:18:32.192 --> 00:18:42.836
When I had my store, a woman came into my store and she was I'm going to guess like 60-ish, and she told me she was Catholic and Hispanic and or Latina.
00:18:42.836 --> 00:18:47.596
And so she said my doctor sent me here to my store where I sell lubricant and sex toys.
00:18:47.596 --> 00:18:51.536
And she said I'm exercising like two or three times a day.
00:18:51.536 --> 00:18:53.226
I just lost my husband.
00:18:53.226 --> 00:18:55.087
I have all this energy I don't know what to do with.
00:18:55.087 --> 00:18:57.650
We had a great sex life and all I can do is just walk on the treadmill.
00:18:57.650 --> 00:18:59.251
I don't know what to do with my sexual energy.
00:18:59.251 --> 00:19:01.134
And he said you would have some ideas.
00:19:01.134 --> 00:19:04.557
Oh girl, yeah, on the spot.
00:19:04.637 --> 00:19:06.960
For whatever reason, my head just went to religious.
00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:08.701
Okay, you're a designer.
00:19:08.701 --> 00:19:15.494
Whoever you believe designed you, created you, they gave, they gave you something that only gives you pleasure.
00:19:15.494 --> 00:19:16.679
It does nothing else.
00:19:16.679 --> 00:19:24.198
I'm not a religious person, but I'm assuming, I'm going to assume, that that designer designer, they wanted you to use it.
00:19:24.968 --> 00:19:36.368
It's so good for your mental health, gives you endorphins and dopamine, and I can't imagine that your designer was like hey, I'm gonna put this here and you're gonna have to touch it almost every time you pee, but don't do anything with it.
00:19:36.368 --> 00:19:38.051
You know no way.
00:19:38.051 --> 00:19:39.453
So why?
00:19:39.453 --> 00:19:40.255
What's the shame in it?
00:19:40.255 --> 00:19:49.772
So I said I sent her home with some lubricant and a bullet and I said you know, just, this is pretty much a guarantee if you get it closer on top of your clitoris, you're gonna have a climax.
00:19:49.772 --> 00:19:53.085
And she came back a couple months later and she thanked me.
00:19:53.085 --> 00:19:54.386
She was very embarrassed, you know.
00:19:54.386 --> 00:20:00.557
I mean I didn't even show her the embarrassing toys, I just showed her the more polite toys because I didn't want to scare her.
00:20:00.557 --> 00:20:07.181
But she missed her husband, obviously, and she missed their sex life and their intimacy.
00:20:07.181 --> 00:20:13.586
But she didn't really know how to have an orgasm on her own because she was told it's disgusting to touch your clitoris.
00:20:13.586 --> 00:20:16.169
How can that ever be disgusting it body.
00:20:17.391 --> 00:20:29.170
Oh, I know, when you think back to the history of the body and well, the female body, it really there's not.
00:20:29.170 --> 00:20:31.676
It's not a good history around the clitoris.
00:20:31.676 --> 00:20:37.917
I mean, there were doctors that advocated its removal because they said it would cure mental illness.
00:20:37.917 --> 00:20:55.759
Oh well, you have schizophrenia because you have this pesky desire, you know, because of this organ, so we're going to cut it out, like there's certain cultures where that's like, seen as you know, the, you've reached an age now and we're going to remove your clitoris.
00:20:58.045 --> 00:21:03.419
You've reached an age now and we're going to remove your clitoris, they used to refer to women as witches and that I've read something where it was like they called it like the devil's teat.
00:21:03.419 --> 00:21:05.632
It is it totally is though.
00:21:05.632 --> 00:21:16.796
Yeah, and they were like basically like the devil, like would suck your soul out of it, Like they created all these really ridiculous stories and fables about this organ.
