Anal Sex Tip #1 You should get to know your own body, and your bathroom routine and you should feel VERY clean and relaxed for it to happen. Hop in the shower so you are 100% confident. (If you have favorite positions for vaginal penetration; try those for anal penetration first as you get more comfortable with this type of sex.) Everyone being fresh and clean before any kind of anal play is paramount. It helps everyone relax and helps everyone enjoy the experience more.
Anal Sex Tip #2 You have to be able to imagine it happening in your mind’s eye or it will never happen. You have to want it and you have to be able to envision it happening successfully. Your mind is a powerful instrument and it’s an important element in this type of play. And, ladies YOU have to want it. It won’t work well if it’s only him that really wants it. As you know, your brain is the SEXIEST organ you own. Much of anal sex comes from imagination and great foreplay. We have to be pretty worked up for it to happen.
Anal Sex Tip #3 Find a very good silicone lubricant. Water-based lubes do not cut it for backdoor action in my opinion. Water-based lubes dry up quickly. Silicone lubes stay silky and slippery – they do not get sticky as water-based lubes can. They don’t dry up like water-based lubes, either. Your anus does not self-lubricate like your vagina. Personally, I prefer the Pjur Silicone Body Glide for all vaginal and anal sex. (I mentioned it above with a coupon code for a free gift if you buy the Pjur from one of our websites.) We also love the lubricants from Sliquid and Uberlube. But, I personally think that most silicone lubes will work best for anal sex. I just happen to have a personal preference for the Pjur Eros Bodyglide. (Black bottle.)
Anal Sex Tip #4 Please be safe. Use a condom for all anal play. Use a glove or condom on all toys, fingers, and penises that go near your anus. Putting a condom on any toys you are using anally on you or your male partner will help your toys to last much much longer. It is also so much easier to sanitize your anal toys if you use them with a condom. Our ANAL SEX PODCAST IS HERE IF YOU PREFER TO LISTEN. (No matter how much you clean a toy that has been used anally without a condom; I promise you it will take on an odor. So the condoms on your anal toys will keep your toys from getting stinky.)
It is always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to anal sex. Because of the nature of the rectum, std’s and other infections can be transmitted so much more easily via anal sex. And, I will warn you, that when you play near / around that area that since the skin is so thin (like the skin around your eyes) there will be teeny tiny micro-tears and things like ejaculate and lubricant will feel much more intense on your area. So a condom can help to keep things feeling good. This is a good reason why the fragrance-free and flavor free lubes around that area feel so much better. NO BURNING! (When your butt hole is burning, nothing is going to feel good.) So put a condom on everything or other barrier and use fragrance-free / flavor-free lube. And lots of it!
Anal Sex Tip #5 Stimulate your clitoris with your fingers or a bullet vibrator. (Or stimulate your partner's clitoris with your fingers, mouth, or a bullet.) If you ever watch adult movies, you will notice the women in the anal scenes often use a small clitoral toy or their fingers on their clitoris during any anal play. Orgasms or clitoral stimulation can bring blood flow to your pelvic region and it stimulates the clitoral legs (which is sort of like a network of pleasure nerves all over your vaginal opening and anus). Be sure to check out my mission www.FreeSilverBullet.com you get 2 silver bullets for $14.
If anything hurts – STOP. Anal penetration should not hurt. That is a sign you need more warm-up, more foreplay, more attention above your nipples, more lubricant and to move through this more slowly. Anal sex cannot be rushed. (Most of us are not porn stars. Porn stars are GOLD MEDAL athletes in the sex Olympics. Most of us are just regular girls. So slow down, gentlemen!)
Anal Sex Tip #6 Small items like fingers and small anal toys are a great way to warm up the sphincter and prepare you and your brain for anal sex. Never use a sex toy anally unless it has a STOPPER on the end so it does not get lost in your rectum. When people get excited, things can get pulled into your rectum – hence all of the crazy stories you hear about emergency room trips at 3 a.m. There are some fabulous smaller toys designed SPECIFICALLY for anal penetration and for warm-up before anal penetration. (Aneros toy : http://www.blissconnection.com/shop.cfm/Sex-Toys/Anal-toys/AnePeridise/ )
When using your fingers or your lovers’ fingers, be sure that you use one hand for anal penetration and another hand for vaginal penetration. Like maybe the left hand is for anal play. Right hand for vaginal play, possibly. This helps to not infect your vagina with any of the bacteria from your rectum. The vagina has a very sensitive and delicate balance of good flora and bad flora. You do not want to disrupt that balance as it can cause you to get an infection. (Not always, but why take a chance.)
Anal Sex Tip #7 The female partner controls all of the penetration. This is especially true when we are new to anal sex. Our male partners or strap-on partners have to know we are not porn stars. (As Jamye Waxman said on Better Sex Radio, “porn stars are sexual athletes.”) "Regular" women cannot do what porn stars do. We have to take it slow and we have to control the penetration in the beginning. The receiver moves onto the penis. Back onto the penis - as opposed to him penetrating you. The receiver should control all of the insertion and penetration. No crazy jack-hammer humping your female partner anally…unless she begs you to, of course. And, the “jack-hammering” will take some time to build up to. And, your female partner may not ever be up for or ready for any “rough” anal sex. So be prepared to always take it slow if your female partner agrees to have anal sex with you.
Anal Sex Tip #8 It may seem counterintuitive, but the receiver of the anal penetration should “bear down” or use his or her muscles to sort of PUSH as he or she moves onto the penis. Pushing helps relax the muscle set in the anus and opens it up a bit more to allow for penetration. It’s sometimes tricky to allow your brain to push when something is going in, I understand that. So if you just can’t make that happen, try deep breathing instead. Big, deep breaths make ALL sex better. And, being mindful of your breathing can also improve any and all orgasms, too. So take a deep breath and you are backing onto the penis and it will help all of your muscles relax and can intensify your orgasm. (And, yes, some women and men can have an anal orgasm.)
Anal Sex Tip #9 LUBRICATE LUBRICATE LUBRICATE….. you just cannot have enough good lube for anal sex. Key word here is GOOD LUBE. 15 reasons we LOVE the Eros Lubricant for anal sex, vaginal sex, hand jobs, massage, and more! Remember the anus does not self-lubricate as the vagina does. Saliva IS NOT lubricant and can be irritating and drying.
